Difference between revisions of "Template:LavishStadiumFragment"

Latest revision as of 22:05, 22 June 2025

The Jersey OSHA Violations stadium is a lavish, state-of-the-art facility featuring:

47 steakhouses
Seats with built-in butt-warmers
Roof constructed of rare beryllium permanganate crystalline structure that had to be grown in zero gravity
Dozens of hot tubs in the club locker rooms
A sports car museum, closed to the public, featuring thousands of sports cars stored in an underground salt mine deep beneath the stadium (allegedly)

The OSHA Violations are the only team that consistently comes in above-budget despite being ranked last in attendance.

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-The {{CTeam|OSHA}} stadium is a state-of-the-art facility, very obviously a front for sketchy business dealings, money laundering, and other organized criminal activities. Some examples of how lavish the stadium is:
+The {{CTeam|OSHA}} stadium is a lavish, state-of-the-art facility featuring:
-* There are forty-seven steakhouses throughout the stadium
+* 47 steakhouses
-* Every seat in the place has a built-in butt warmer with remote control temperature controller
+* Seats with built-in butt-warmers
-* The roof is constructed of a rare beryllium permanganate crystal structure that had to be grown in zero gravity
+* Roof constructed of rare beryllium permanganate crystalline structure that had to be grown in zero gravity
-* The locker room contains a bathhouse with two dozen hot tubs, each with a different combination of temperature and mineral content
+* Dozens of hot tubs in the club locker rooms
-* The broadcast booth consists of a gigantic swimming pool made of perfectly translucent glass that is precariously perched above the Golly grid, suspended by a nearly-invisible cable, so that broadcasters can see the game more clearly
+* A sports car museum, closed to the public, featuring thousands of sports cars stored in an underground salt mine deep beneath the stadium (allegedly)
-* The stadium features a lavish sports car museum with hundreds of thousands of cars in the underground salt mine beneath the stadium
-* Every vendor in the stadium features free nachos (as do the steakhouses)
-Given the long drought of postseason appearances, and even longer drought of championships, the lavishness of the stadium has led to many unanswered questions about their source of funding, the viability of the organization's finances, and the mystery of how the OSHA Violations are the only team that has consistently come in above-budget despite being ranked last in attendance.<noinclude>
+The OSHA Violations are the only team that consistently comes in above-budget despite being ranked last in attendance.<noinclude>
 [[Category:Lore Fragments]]
 [[Category:OSHA]]
 </noinclude>