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The Butchers are butchers who spend most of their day surrounded by flesh and blood. The butcher shop they run is rarely open, since they are usually playing Golly or spending time with their spouse, the Milwaukee Flamingos . The shop is famous for its wide selection of meats and sausages. There have been many mysterious occurrences in and around the shop: disappearing pets, unusual accidents with disappearing bodies, large pools of blood that occasionally form in the street, haunting moans emitted from beneath the building, and more. If you bring up these mysterious occurrences with the locals, they will laugh it off cheerfully, then tail you conspicuously until you leave town.

The Butchers are quiet and mysterious. They can occasionally be found coming and going from their shop at odd hours. Neighbors have reported seeing the Butchers carrying large, heavy objects in garbage bags out of their shop at odd hours on multiple occasions. When confronted about this behavior, the Butchers have responded that the bags are "for work" without elaborating further.