Difference between revisions of "Template:GrapeChewsCenturyOfFailureFragment"

Revision as of 03:41, 11 November 2023

Hellmouth II/Season 4 marked the 100th season in which the Detroit Grape Chews have failed to clinch a Hot League pennant or reach their first-ever Cup game:

Hellmouth Cup: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the Detroit Grape Chews (24 total)
Toroidal Cup: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the Detroit Grape Chews (48 total)
Rainbow Cup: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the Detroit Grape Chews (72 total)
Klein Cup: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the Detroit Grape Chews (96 total)
Hellmouth II Cup: 4 (and counting) seasons of pennant-free performance by the Detroit Grape Chews (100 total)

True to form, the Grape Chews finished strong during the regular season (Hellmouth II/Season 4), and made it to the postseason - hooray for consistent regular season performance by the Grape Chews!

The Grape Chews overpowered the Boylston Boogers in the Division Series, beating them just as they have beaten countless other opponents in countless other Hot League Division Series. (Except the Klein Cup, yikes, Grape Chews flubbed enough division series to fill a box of doughnuts.)

Soon after, the Grape Chews found themselves in the Hot League Championship Series, with the franchise facing 100 seasons without ever clinching a Hot League Pennant. "Here is our chance," they thought. "Surely, we won't fail this time," they said to themselves. "What are the odds we pooch it 100 times in a row?" they pondered, alone to themselves, when the locker room was empty.

The Detroit Grape Chews went to battle, and fought the Jersey OSHA Violations tooth and nail, fist-to-face, an eye for an eye. The Grape Chews overcame a 2-3 deficit to tie up the series, 3-3, in Game 6.

It all came down to Game 7 ( 64276ed7-86e4-48fb-9120-663c286025e2).

The Grape Chews fell to the Jersey OSHA Violations . The Chews performed pitifully in a nearly 3,000 generation match. There was never a doubt as to which team was in control during the match, which was a clear violation of multiple OSHA standards. The Grape Chews trailed the OSHA Violations for the entire match, and sealed the fate of the Hellmouth II/Season 4 Detroit Grape Chews as the saddest team in Golly history. (Sorry to be the bearer of bad Chews, Detroit.)

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-[[Hellmouth II/Season 4]] marked the 100th season in which the {{CTeam|DET}} have failed to clinch a Hot League pennant or reach their first-ever Cup game.
+[[Hellmouth II/Season 4]] marked the 100th season in which the {{CTeam|DET}} have failed to clinch a Hot League pennant or reach their first-ever Cup game:
-True to form, the Grape Chews finished strong during the regular season and made it to the postseason, just like they always do.
+* [[Hellmouth Cup]]: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the {{CTeam|DET}} (24 total)
+* [[Toroidal Cup]]: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the {{CTeam|DET}} (48 total)
+* [[Rainbow Cup]]: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the {{CTeam|DET}} (72 total)
+* [[Klein Cup]]: 24 seasons of pennant-free performance by the {{CTeam|DET}} (96 total)
+* [[Hellmouth II Cup]]: 4 (and counting) seasons of pennant-free performance by the {{CTeam|DET}} (100 total)
-The Grape Chews overpowered the {{CTeam|BB}} in the Division Series, just like they have beat countless other opponents in countless other Hot League Division Series.
+True to form, the Grape Chews finished strong during the regular season ([[Hellmouth II/Season 4]]), and made it to the postseason - hooray for consistent regular season performance by the Grape Chews!
-Sure enough, the Grape Chews found themselves in the Hot League Championship Series, with the franchise facing 100 seasons without ever clinching a Hot League Pennant. They battled the Jersey OSHA Violations tooth and nail, fist-to-face, an eye for an eye, tying up the series in Game 6, 3-3.
+The Grape Chews overpowered the {{CTeam|BB}} in the Division Series, beating them just as they have beaten countless other opponents in countless other Hot League Division Series. (Except the [[Klein Cup]], yikes, Grape Chews flubbed enough division series to fill a box of doughnuts.)
-In Game 7 ({{HellmouthIIGame|64276ed7-86e4-48fb-9120-663c286025e2}}), the Grape Chews fell to the {{CTeam|OSHA}} in a disappointing Game 7 performance. Despite lasting nearly 3,000 generations, there was never a doubt as to which team was in control. The Grape Chews trailed the OSHA Violations for the entire match, sealing the Grape Chews' fate as the saddest team in Golly. Hate to be the bearer of bad Chews.<noinclude>
+Soon after, the Grape Chews found themselves in the Hot League Championship Series, with the franchise facing 100 seasons without ever clinching a Hot League Pennant. "Here is our chance," they thought. "Surely, we won't fail this time," they said to themselves. "What are the odds we pooch it 100 times in a row?" they pondered, alone to themselves, when the locker room was empty.
+The Detroit Grape Chews went to battle, and fought the Jersey OSHA Violations tooth and nail, fist-to-face, an eye for an eye. The Grape Chews overcame a 2-3 deficit to tie up the series, 3-3, in Game 6.
+It all came down to Game 7 ({{HellmouthIIGame|64276ed7-86e4-48fb-9120-663c286025e2}}).
+The Grape Chews fell to the {{CTeam|OSHA}}. The Chews performed pitifully in a nearly 3,000 generation match. There was never a doubt as to which team was in control during the match, which was a clear violation of multiple OSHA standards. The Grape Chews trailed the OSHA Violations for the entire match, and sealed the fate of the [[Hellmouth II/Season 4]] {{CTeam|DET}} as the saddest team in Golly history. (Sorry to be the bearer of bad Chews, Detroit.)<noinclude>
 [[Category:DET]]
 [[Category:OSHA]]