Ten Ten

Related: Baltimore Texas

Related: Cancel Texas Memo

Related: Baltimore War

Ten Ten is an annual holiday occurring on October 10. The purpose of the holiday is for teams that have not yet been incinerated to celebrate being un-incinerated. The holiday occurs on October 10 to commemorate the incineration of the Baltimore Texas , which occurred at the end of Toroidal/Season 20.

Accidental Premature Incineration

During Toroidal/Season 20, the Commissioner released the Cancel Texas Memo, which signaled the Commissioner's intention to incinerate the Baltimore Texas at the end of the season. The City of Baltimore made plans for an elaborate yet tasteful incineration ceremony, to take place in Baltimore at The Alamo, with the Commissioner presiding, and with close family and loyal fans present to be with the Texas in their final moments.

Before the ceremony began, however, the Texas were incinerated when the Commissioner accidentally sat on the incineration button, which was in a back pocket, and the entire Baltimore Texas team was instantly incinerated, to everyone's surprise. Baltimore was horrified; the blunder made the front cover of major Baltimore newspapers, and the public called for the Commissioner to be held accountable.

Ten Ten Holiday

In an attempt to distract from news of the accidental premature incineration of the Baltimore Texas in front of family and fans, the Commissioner's Office rapidly put together a press briefing in which they announced a new holiday, to occur each October 10, the date of the incineration of the Baltimore Texas. The Commissioner dubbed the holiday "Ten Ten". The Commissioner further stated that the holiday was for non-incinerated teams only, and would be a "decadent feast day" that would be a "celebration of Life, winning, and being un-incinerated."

Baltimore Declares Beef

During Toroidal/Season 20, Baltimore was understandably upset with the Commissioner. First, the Commissioner had slated their local team for incineration; then, the Commissioner stuck them with a replacement team, the Baltimore Piano Tuners , staffed by Baltimore's bitter Texas Crown rivals. On top of all this was the added insult of the Commissioner prematurely incinerating the Texas by sitting on the incineration switch. Many fans of Golly in Baltimore began the sad and solemn search for a new team that was not the Piano Tuners.

There was additional anger from Baltimore when it was revealed that the "Ten Ten" holiday the Commissioner was planning was not to commemorate the Baltimore Texas, but instead was a celebration of not being the Baltimore Texas on the date they were incinerated - a celebration of everything the Baltimore Texas were not.

Residents of Baltimore began a Beef Campaign, signing petitions en masse to start Beef with the Commissioner. A Beef Parade was organized, in which effigies of the Commissioner were assembled from leftover beef, roundly booed the entire parade route, and tossed into the ocean at the end. This parade also marked the first day of the Baltimore Piano Tuners season. The Mayor of Baltimore officially declared the Commissioner persona non grata within the city limits, and spent nearly an hour insulting the Baltimore Piano Tuners team.

Declaration of War

Main: Baltimore War

After spending one unbearable season booing the Baltimore Piano Tuners relentlessly at every home game, the city of Baltimore was still waiting for closure around the incineration of the Texas that simply never came. Everyone in the city was bitter about how things had ended with the Texas, and angry with the Commissioner for the insults and for sticking them with the Piano Tuners, who were not only their bitter rivals, but a pack of cheats to boot.

At the conclusion of Toroidal/Season 21, fans of the late beloved Baltimore Texas banded together to petition the City of Baltimore to declare war on the Commissioner of Golly. People poured into the streets to show solidarity for the Texas and back the call for war, which had become known as the Baltimore War before it had even been declared.

Bowing to relentless public pressure, ignoring the advice of lawyers who pointed out the dubious nature of declaring war on a Commissioner, the City issued a declaration of war on the Commissioner at the conclusion of Toroidal/Season 21, starting the Baltimore War.

The declaration of war was later expanded to include both the Commissioner of Golly and the Baltimore Piano Tuners .