Baltimore Piano Tuners

Baltimore Piano Tuners
"Cheaters Get What Cheaters Deserve!"
Team Information
Name Baltimore Piano Tuners Primary Color #3e92cc Logo    Abbreviation BPT Nickname The Cheats Hometown Baltimore, MD Stadium The Bottom of the Barrel Emoji 🎹 Status Incinerated
Rivalry Crowns
Match Made in Hell Crown
Preferences
Mixtape Baltimore🎹Piano🎹Tuners Integer 8 Movie Dallas
Divination
Element Water Power Word Condemned
Motto
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

The Baltimore Piano Tuners are were a Golly team from Baltimore, Marlyand. They are the offspring of the Cancel Texas Memo, the humiliated husk of a team that remained from the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners after the cheating scandal that led to Texas being Canceled. The Piano Tuners will forever be known as a pack of cheating losers. The Baltimore Piano Tuners joined the Golly league in Toroidal/Season 21, and continued on into the Rainbow league in Rainbow/Season 1.

The Baltimore Piano Tuners were incinerated unceremoniously at the conclusion of the Hellmouth II Cup, much to the delight of Baltimore residents.

Background

The Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal was a scandal that struck the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners like a bolt of lightning in Toroidal/Season 16. The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were unmasked as a pack of cheaters who weren't happy with winning championships the old-fashioned way; they had hacked the engineering division to win the Toroidal/Season 15 championship over the Boot Lickers and were attempting to beat the Boot Lickers again in Toroidal/Season 16. But, as a result of their hubris, they were not only eviscerated by the Sacramento Boot Lickers in the Toroidal/Season 16 Toroidal Cup series, they were also punished by the Cancel Texas Memo at the end of Toroidal/Season 20, which forced the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners to take on the team colors and hometown of their most hated rival, the Baltimore Texas , who were incinerated for being incapable of winning a single pennant in 44 seasons, despite countless opportunities.

Baltimore Golly fans, who are widely known as the most polite and civil fans in the entire Golly league, will often shower the Piano Tuners team with garbage, both when the Tuners walk out onto the field, and in the middle of games. The term "Baltimore Piano Tuners fan" is considered an oxymoron, because every Golly fan in Baltimore was raised from childhood to be a diehard Baltimore Texas fan, and to hate the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners with every ounce of their being (as part of the bitter Texas Crown rivalry). Thus, there is no team that Baltimore despises more than its home team, the Baltimore Piano Tuners .

The Piano Tuners perform significantly better during away games, thanks to the lack of garbage being thrown at them and the resulting increased visibility.

Team Character

The Cancel Texas Memo was brought about as a result of the Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal, in which the Tuners were unmasked as a pack of cheaters. They got what was coming to them by being banished to the hometown of their bitterest rival. What else can be said, except that in this universe, cheaters get what cheaters deserve?

Due to the superb postseason record of the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners , many anticipated that a change of hometown and team colors would not have a significant impact on the Tuners.

Many were wrong.

Ever since the Tuners moved to Baltimore after being forced to take on the hometown and team colors of their bitter rivals, they have never reached a Cup series. They remain one of only three four teams with no appearances in a Cup series.

Thus, the Baltimore Piano Tuners have replaced the Baltimore Texas as resident Choke Artists.

Scientific Debate - Extrinsic Versus Intrinsic

Main: Extrinsic Versus Intrinsic

The Baltimore Piano Tuners have turned out to play an unexpected but important role in the scientific debate over whether Choke Artistry is extrinsic (geographical or environmental, and a fate that can be changed with a change of location) or whether it is intrinsic (an inherent and inescapable personality characteristic). While based in Ft. Worth, the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners experienced great postseason success (up until they were caught cheating red-handed, anyway; see Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal). But after moving to Baltimore, the Baltimore Piano Tuners found themselves unable to reach the championship series and earning Choke Artist status, in addition to the derision of Baltimore.

Scientists consider the Tuners' transformation from postseason posterchild (Ft. Worth) to Choke Artist laughingstock (Baltimore) provides scientific evidence that choke artistry is geographic, and is independent of team composition or chemistry. However, this provides the Piano Tuners with no consolation.

Final Conclusion of Extrinsic vs Intrinsic Debate

The Baltimore Piano Tuners finally ended the Intrinsic vs Extrinsic debate by breaking the Choke Artist curse in Hellmouth II/Season 3, reaching the Hellmouth II Cup series, and winning it all.

By winning a championship in Baltimore, the Baltimore Piano Tuners proved that the geographic location of Baltimore is not cursed. Rather, it the Baltimore Texas in particular that is cursed.

With the Intrinsic vs Extrinsic debate concluded, the Baltimore Piano Tuners were incinerated and replaced with the Baltimore Texas II for greater entertainment value.

Season by Season Summary

Season-by-Season Summaries for Baltimore Piano Tuners .

Baltimore Piano Tuners in the Toroidal Cup

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BPT}}

• In Toroidal/Season 22 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Tucson Butchers 2-3.

Baltimore Piano Tuners in the Rainbow Cup

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BPT}}

• In Rainbow/Season 1 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Mobile Wheels and the Jersey OSHA Violations .
• In Rainbow/Season 5 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Fargo Flea Flickers and the Louisville Illusionists .
• In Rainbow/Season 10 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Boylston Boogers and the Delaware Corporate Shells .
• In Rainbow/Season 13 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Alewife Arsonists and the Louisville Illusionists .
• In Rainbow/Season 15 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Mobile Wheels and the Boylston Boogers .
• In Rainbow/Season 17 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers and the Delaware Corporate Shells .
• In Rainbow/Season 22 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Delaware Corporate Shells and the Louisville Illusionists .
• In Rainbow/Season 23 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Louisville Illusionists and the Boylston Boogers .

Baltimore Piano Tuners in the Klein Cup

{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BPT}}

• In Klein/Season 1 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Division Series by the Seattle Sneakers .
• In Klein/Season 7 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the San Diego Balloon Animals 1-3.
• In Klein/Season 8 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence 2-3.
• In Klein/Season 9 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Elko Astronauts 1-3.
• In Klein/Season 12 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Elko Astronauts 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence 3-4.
• In Klein/Season 16 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Phoenix Freshrolls 2-3.
• In Klein/Season 17 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Salt Lake Turbulence 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the Tucson Butchers 2-4.
• In Klein/Season 23 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Tucson Butchers 1-3.
• In Klein/Season 24 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Tucson Butchers 1-3.

Baltimore Piano Tuners in the Hellmouth II Cup

{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BPT}}

• In Hellmouth II/Season 1 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They swept the Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence 1-4.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 2 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They swept the Seattle Sneakers 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-4.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 3 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Phoenix Freshrolls 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Tucson Butchers 4-1 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth II Cup champions by defeating the Fargo Flea Flickers 4-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 4 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Tucson Butchers 1-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 6 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 7 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 8 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Long Beach Flightless Birds 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 11 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Tucson Butchers 1-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 12 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the San Diego Balloon Animals 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 13 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Division Series by the Elko Astronauts .
• In Hellmouth II/Season 15 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Elko Astronauts 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Championship Series by the Albuquerque Solarpunks .
• In Hellmouth II/Season 17 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Division Series by the Long Beach Flightless Birds .
• In Hellmouth II/Season 21 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Seattle Sneakers 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 24 the Baltimore Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 2-3.