Ten Ten

Ten Ten is an annual holiday occurring on October 10. The purpose of the holiday is for teams that have not yet been incinerated to celebrate being un-incinerated. The holiday occurs on October 10 to commemorate the incineration of the Baltimore Texas , which occurred at the end of Toroidal/Season 20.

Accidental Premature Incineration

During Toroidal/Season 20, the Commissioner released the Cancel Texas Memo, which signaled the Commissioner's intention to incinerate the Baltimore Texas at the end of the season. The City of Baltimore made plans for an elaborate yet tasteful incineration ceremony, to take place in Baltimore at The Alamo, with the Commissioner presiding, and with close family and loyal fans present to be with the Texas in their final moments.

Before the ceremony began, however, the Texas were incinerated when the Commissioner accidentally sat on the incineration button, which was in a back pocket, and the entire Baltimore Texas team was instantly incinerated, to everyone's surprise. Baltimore was horrified; the blunder made the front cover of major Baltimore newspapers, and the public called for the Commissioner to be held accountable.

Ten Ten Holiday

In an attempt to distract from news of the accidental premature incineration of the Baltimore Texas in front of family and fans, the Commissioner's Office rapidly put together a press briefing in which they announced a new holiday, to occur each October 10, the date of the incineration of the Baltimore Texas. The Commissioner dubbed the holiday "Ten Ten". The Commissioner further stated that the holiday was for non-incinerated teams only, and would be a "decadent feast day" that would be a "celebration of Life, winning, and being un-incinerated."

Baltimore Declares Beef

Baltimore was understandably furious with the Commissioner. First, the Commissioner had slated their local team for incineration; then, the Commissioner stuck them with a replacement team, the Baltimore Piano Tuners , staffed by Baltimore's bitter Texas Crown rivals. With the added insult of the Commissioner prematurely incinerating the Texas, many fans began the sad and solemn search for a new team that was not the Piano Tuners.

Baltimore fans were angry that "Ten Ten" would not be a solemn holiday to commemorate the Baltimore Texas, but instead would be a celebration of everything the Baltimore Texas weren't - being alive, being winners, and being un-incinerated.

Residents of Baltimore city-wide began a Beef Campaign to start Beef with the Commissioner. A Beef Parade was organized, in which effigies of the Commissioner were assembled from fish guts, roundly booed the entire parade route, and tossed into the ocean at the end. This parade also marked the first day of the Baltimore Piano Tuners season. The Mayor of Baltimore officially declared the Commissioner of Golly persona non grata within the city limits, and spent nearly an hour insulting the Baltimore Piano Tuners team.