Template:FWPTTeamOverview
The
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
were a Golly team from Ft. Worth, Texas. Despite their name, the Piano Tuners were infamous for their tone-deafness. They were completely unable to keep a tune, hold a note, or keep time to even the most basic beat. The Piano Tuners also somehow remained completely unaware of their musical inabilities.
The franchise became famous in the Hellmouth Cup for their consistently terrible performance in the regular season (they became known as the Party Animals for their multiple Partytime speed runs), but also for making multiple improbable (some might even say, suspicious) postseason runs - they tied the
Elko Astronauts
for Cold League teams with the most Hellmouth Cup series appearances.
Throughout the Hellmouth Cup, the team relied on poor calls by Grid Umpires, mistakes by officials, confusion about tiebreaker protocols, and bugs in simulator code to bumble their way to the Cup series multiple times, testing hte limits of both the simulator code and the rules of the game on their route to victory. The Tuners were also known for their relentless competitiveness, and for being willing to poke the rest of the league in the eye if it would get them a championship, which made for a toxic combination. Their multiple Cup series wins and losses created a wake of controversy and many haters, although no one could ever prove anything.
The franchise name was permanently tarnished in Toroidal/Season 16, when the Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal broke. The scandal, which would bring down the entire franchise just four seasons later, involved a partnership with the
Delaware Corporate Shells
to set up shell companies to provide backdoored random number generators to E Division and affect the outcomes of matches. The Piano Tuners were heavily censured by the Commissioner, and roundly condemned for their behavior.
In Toroidal/Season 20 the scandal came back to haunt the Piano Tuners. Their bitterest rivals, the Baltimore Texas, were incinerated as part of the Cancel Texas Memo, while the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were canceled as a result of the scandal and banished to Baltimore (the Baltimore Diaspora). They were given the humiliating fate of taking on the team colors and hometown of their bitter rivals, the Baltimore Texas. The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were forced to become the
Baltimore Piano Tuners
. The Piano Tuners were incinerated unceremoniously at the conclusion of the Hellmouth II Cup and replaced with the reincarnation of their bitter rivals, the
Baltimore Texas II
.