Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal

Screenshot showing one of the random number generators procured to Golly's E Division by the Piano Tuners' shell company. (Source: XKCD webcomic https://xkcd.com/221)

The Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal is a scandal that took place during the Toroidal/Season 16 postseason. The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were accused of procuring backdoored random number generators to Golly's E Division to affect the outcome of the Toroidal/Season 15 championship (which the Tuners had won). E Division patched the random number generators in time for the Torodial/Season 16 championship, enabling the Sacramento Boot Lickers to get a revenge reversal and win the championship.

Background

While the Toroidal/Season 16 postseason was still ongoing, the Piano Tuners became embroiled in a hacking scandal when leaked documents showed that the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners had formed a secret partnership with the Delaware Corporate Shells with the purpose of creating shell companies to sell backdoored random number generators to Golly's E Division. The E Division, in charge of all aspects of engineering, is the division responsible for all Golly simulations.

Direct Impacts of Hacking

The backdoored random number generators had been put into place at the beginning of Toroidal/Season 15 and had enabled the Piano Tuners to manipulate the outcome of the Toroidal/Season 15 season and postseason, completely in secret.

The Tuners declared Torodial/Season 15 a wild success and intended to replicate their success again in Toroidal/Season 16, and successfully manipulated the outcome of the regular season as well as part of the postseason.

However, the documents were leaked prior to the Toroidal Cup Series, allowing E Division to patch the random number generators so that the Toroidal Cup Series would not be impacted.

Side Effects of Hacking

Over the course of Toroidal/Season 16 many commentators and fans noted a disturbing change in the personality of the normally obnoxiously cheerful and obsequious Boot Lickers. As Season 16 progressed, the Boot Lickers became nasty toward other teams, uncharacteristically crushing their opponents in blowouts, starting fights on the field, and showing a stunning improvement in their trash talk game. While some commentators speculated that the Boot Lickers had worked trash talk exercises into their offseason training routine, the Boot Lickers roundly denied their training routine had anything to do with it, threatening to flip tables if anyone said otherwise.

Revelation of Hacking Scandal

The news of the hacking scandal broke amidst the Toroidal/Season 16 postseason. The Boot Lickers, still in contention for the Torodial Cup championship, and still under the spell of a personality change, realized that they had lost the Toroidal/Season 15 Toroidal Cup series to a pack of cheaters, and set out on a bloody path for revenge against the Piano Tuners.

RNGs Patched

Unbeknownst to the Piano Tuners (who were unable to consistently win matches without cheating), the Commissioner's Office had ordered E Division to deploy patched random number generators in time for the Toroidal Cup Series. The random number generators had been found in a dusty warehouse, required extensive cleaning and repair, and made a tremendous racket, but they would allow E Division to simulate matches without relying on the Piano Tuners' backdoored random number generators.

Rematch and Evisceration

Season 16 was a rematch of the Taste of Texas Series, with the Tuners managing to cheat their way to the championship series, and the Boot Lickers reaching the championship game by crushing their opponents with a singular focus.

The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were eviscerated by the eventual champions, the Sacramento Boot Lickers . Following the series, the Tuners spent several weeks in the hospital recovering.