Ganja Gambit

Hellmouth II Cup

After being swept by the Salt Lake Turbulence in their first Hellmouth II encounter (Hellmouth II/Season 1), the Long Beach Flightless Birds were forced to evolve. The two teams met again in 19 seasons later, in the League Division Series matchup in Hellmouth II/Season 20. It was the usual brutal neck-and-neck affair, par for the course for the Ground Effect Crown, taking the series to the maximum 5 games.

Frustrated that their usual antics weren't enough to break the stalemate, the Birds resorted to a trick learned from their East Coast rivals, the Jersey OSHA Violations . The night before the decisive Game 5, they invited the Turbulence to a mandatory inter-team Safety Meeting. The literal-minded Turbulence, assuming this was a formal discussion of grid protocols and safety compliance, attended with notes and binders and sharpened pencils. But the Safety Meeting was in fact a Jersey Safety Meeting - a massive hotbox session. The Burbs and Birds both got so thoroughly baked, the Birds were certain there was no way the Burbs would be able to see straight the next day.

The next day, the Turbulence arrived at the match not dulled, but enlightened. Far from hindering their analytical minds, the herb had unlocked a new level of mental performance. For the first time, they could see and feel the div, curl, and grad of their patterns instead of just calculating them. Their formations became terrifyingly fluid and intuitive, weaving with a creativity they never knew they possessed. They fused mathematics and fleeting form like jazz. The Flightless Birds were dismantled in Game 5 by a beautiful, unpredictable, giggling opponent. The Birds' attempt to turn their rivals into dopes had backfired terribly, giving Salt Lake a 3-2 series victory and and a glimpse of Enlightenment.

Hellmouth V Cup

In Hellmouth V/Season 20, the Long Beach Flightless Birds were in Red Alert mode. They could see that their major rivals, the Salt Lake Turbulence , were on the verge of stabilizing the internal infighting and bringing about a resolution to the Great Salt Lake Civil War via Lifestyle Weed. The Birds were facing off against the Turb in the Season 20 Division Series, and they found themselves up against the wall in a 2-2 League Division Series matchup.

The Long Beach Flightless Birds decided to resurrect the old playbook, called a Safety Meeting, and conveniently mis-labeled a box of Super High Octane Couch-Lock Indica Indoor Fire joints as a boring box of "Lifestyle Weed". As the Safety Meeting got underway, the Turbulence, imbibing the highly psychoactive weed, felt the fragile stability of their calculated serenity crumble. The Great Salt Lake Civil War re-ignited. The Turbulence lost their focus on winning and instead focused on their internal infighting, and the Flightless Birds hardly did any work in sealing the deal and winning the series in Game 5.