Midwest Love Triangle

From Golly.Life Wiki

The Midwest Love Triangle is the nickname given to the complicated rivalries and anti-rivalries that connect the MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos , DET.png Detroit Grape Chews , TB.png Tucson Butchers , and FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers .

Hellmouth Cup

Midwest Crown

Starting in Season 1 of the Hellmouth Cup the MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos and DET.png Detroit Grape Chews had an intense rivalry - the Midwest Crown. However, over time the Flamingos lost interest in the rivalry, frustrating the Grape Chews.

Snowbird Series and Valentines Day Series

In Season 9 and Season 10 of the Hellmouth Cup the MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos and TB.png Tucson Butchers faced off in a back-to-back repeat, with the Flamingos taking both series. Nearly instantaneously the Flamingos and Butchers developed a hot, messy anti-rivalry, including the longest postseason game ever played (The Lovers' Embrace). When the Flamingos won the Valentine's Day Series, they established their first Flawless Dynasty.

Midwest Love Triangle

While not, strictly speaking, a love triangle, more like a love motorcycle with a sidecar, fans took to calling the collective complicated relationships between the Flamingos, Grape Chews, and Butchers as the Midwest Love Triangle starting in Season 10.

The Grape Chews became further frustrated, with their performance nosediving in seasons following the Valentine's Day Series.

On several occasions, the DET.png Detroit Grape Chews made surprise visits to the MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos training facilities, only to discover that the TB.png Tucson Butchers were visiting, and incidents occurred involving fistfights between the Grape Chews, Butchers, and Flamingos, as well as random bystanders.

The Flamingos eventually broke off formal relations with the Grape Chews, although the Midwest Crown continued.

The Butchers publicly declared they had no interest in pursuing the third leg of a love triangle with the Grape Chews, who lacked flesh and blood.

Detroit Choke Artist and Psychoanalysis

The DET.png Detroit Grape Chews ended the Hellmouth Cup without a single appearance in the Hellmouth Cup Series, leading to them being nicknamed the Hot League Choke Artists.

The Grape Chews' inability to clinch a Hot League pennant and make it to a single cup game, over the course of two cups, 48 seasons in total, was interpreted by psychoanalysis as a manifestation of the the insecurities the Grape Chews felt as a result of their attempts to further develop their rivalry with the MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos being rebuffed. Furthermore, psychoanalysts claimed, the public statement by the Butchers about the Grape Chews' lack of flesh and blood created an uncrossable line between (whatever Grape Chews were made out of? who knows) and things with flesh and blood, like Flamings and Butchers.

Toroidal Cup

The Dynasty Detroit Built

In the Toroidal Cup the rivalry between the MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos and DET.png Detroit Grape Chews went from cool to icy. The Flamingos, who had already established a dynasty in the Hellmouth Cup, established a second Dynasty in the Toroidal Cup, clinching all three pennant wins against the Grape Chews and continuing the Grape Chews' legacy as the Hot League Choke Artists.

Milwaukee's Toroidal Cup Dynasty has been nicknamed "The Dynasty Detroit Built" as a result of the fact that all three of Milwaukee's Hot League pennant-clinching Championship Series wins came over Detroit.

Detroit Choke Artists and Psychoanalysis

Detroit continued to live up to their title of Hot League Choke Artists in the Toroidal Cup. In addition to the 3 League Championship Series losses to the MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos that formed the Dynasty Detroit Built (Toroidal/Season 2, Toroidal/Season 10, Toroidal/Season 17), the Grape Chews also lost League Championship Series to:

for a total of 8 blown opportunities to clinch a Hot League pennant and make an appearance in the Toroidal Cup series. (Note that this does not count losses in the League Division Series.)

Grape Chews Blow Their Last Chance

In Toroidal/Season 17 the DET.png Detroit Grape Chews and MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos met in the League Championship Series, with the winner going on to face the TB.png Tucson Butchers .

The Flamingos made a deal with the Grape Chews. If the Grape Chews could win the Season 17 Hot League Championship Series and go on to beat the Butchers in the Toroidal Cup, the Flamingos would agree to resurrect the Midwest Crown rivalry, abandon their secret romance with the Butchers, and go back to the way things were in the early seasons of the Hellmouth Cup. If the Grape Chews lost the game, they would mutually agree to close the book on the Midwest Crown and retire the rivalry forever.

The Grape Chews agreed. The series was tied up at 2 apiece. And then, of course, the Grape Chews choked.

In Game 5 [1], arguably the most important and defining game of the entire Detroit Grape Chews franchise, the Grape Chews started off weak, and only got weaker, until they were completely overrun by the Flamingos. It was a characteristic choke under maximum pressure.