Orlando Business Majors

Orlando Business Majors
"We take credit!"
Team Information
Name Orlando Business Majors Abbreviation ORL Nickname The Majors Primary Color #0dab76 Logo    Hometown Orlando, FL Stadium The Big Orange Emoji 💼 Status On Permanent Spring Break
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Integer 67 Movie Animal House
Divination
Element Water Power Word Complacent Card 5♥
Motto
Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice (If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look around you)
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

The Orlando Business Majors are a Golly team from Orlando, Florida. They are majoring in business. They love orange juice.

Team Character

The Orlando Business Majors are a smart, capable bunch who get good grades and show a great deal of potential. A majority of their talent, insight, and power is derived from orange juice.

Business Majors in the Hellmouth Cup

Early Success and Disillusionment

While the Orlando Business Majors were overjoyed with their Hellmouth Cup championship in Season 2, they had high expectations for themselves in the playoffs that were simply not met. Between Season 3 and Season 16, they were in the postseason bracket nearly every year, but lost 4 straight League Division series (Seasons 3-6), 7 League Division series total, and 2 League Championship series.

Many critics agree that without their early Season 2 championship, the Business Majors would have ended up as Choke Artists, as they faced many of the same problems as Detroit Grape Chews : an ability to consistently make it to the postseason, but an inability to win when it mattered most, or clinch a pennant.

Season 17 - The Hostile Takeover

The Season 17 Hellmouth Cup series between the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners and the Orlando Business Majors was a clash of dissonant, musical chaos versus market-driven, mass-psychology chaos. The Business Majors, whose behavior was difficult to predict but considered ruthlessly efficient, carefully outmaneuvered the Piano Tuners to build up a 3-1 lead in the series. Just like Season 11, the Piano Tuners, facing elimination, turned nasty and fought like rats, including a narrow 8-point margin of victory in a chaotic Game 6.

In Game 7, to the massive relief of the entire league, the Business Majors implemented a formation called the Hostile Takeover, a risky and very expensive maneuver that was tailor-made for this type of end-of-the-line, Game 7 situation. They isolated the Tuners' frequencies, filtered them out, packaged them up, and sold them off. The Tuners quickly fell behind, and had no more tricks up their sleeve, no more last-minute gambits. The 177-111 victory by the Business Majors was considered a triumph for the entire league. And in some sense, it led the Piano Tuners to their downfall - the loss forced the Piano Tuners collective to consider "alternative victory techniques" by rigging random number generators in collusion with the Corporate Shells, which would set in motion the entire sordid affair of the Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal, the Cancel Texas Memo, and the Baltimore Diaspora.

Season 17 - Hellmouth Cup Results Table
Orlando Business Majors vs. Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Orlando Business Majors	144	7.64%	133	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,105	4b906527-a96c-4de4-82a0-e00fe05bf43d
Game 2	Orlando Business Majors	281	96.44%	10	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,188	2dcc8524-5445-4c96-b470-a22df05f0aca
Game 3	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	185	55.14%	83	Orlando Business Majors	1,563	c22c53b8-dd0d-4867-9590-920e21a099c4
Game 4	Orlando Business Majors	240	73.75%	63	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	3,231	fd362da4-1788-4b1d-a863-1f5daa2792a9
Game 5	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	202	35.15%	131	Orlando Business Majors	2,519	9d05420c-edf2-4d1e-97b5-691d77d0791e
Game 6	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	165	4.85%	157	Orlando Business Majors	1,575	a379aaca-6653-4224-988b-3319d8af2baa
Game 7	Orlando Business Majors	177	37.29%	111	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,613	8b1ac131-091f-4842-8250-1b0ed5302f2b

Spring Break Plans

Despite their early Hellmouth Cup win in Season 2, the Orlando Business Majors experienced a great deal of postseason heartache in the seasons that followed. After their abysmal performance in Seasons 14, 15, and 16, reaching Partytime first in the Hot League all three seasons, the Business Majors were feeling burned out.

Midway through Season 17 the Business Majors announced that they needed to reset, and declared that they would take an unscheduled Spring Break trip following Season 17 in order to "find themselves again" and "reset".

As if on cue, the Business Majors promptly rocketed to the top of the Hot Water division, while their nearest competitors, division mates Alewife Arsonists and Sacramento Boot Lickers nosedived into the end of the season. The Business Majors defeated the Arsonists in the Division Series and the Boot Lickers in the Championship series, then defeated the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners in the Hellmouth Cup series.

Sprint Break

During Seasons 18 and 19, the Orlando Business Majors took their spring break trip, promising the Golly Commissioner that they would "phone it in" to keep from disrupting the Golly League and avoid being banished from Golly like the Atlanta Glitter Sharks. True to their word, the Business Majors hired stand-ins to play Golly for them, for the entire duration of their spring break trip, having 2 uneventful seasons in which they neither soared nor crashed.

Season 22 - Return to Form

After their Season 18 and 19 Spring Break, the Orlando Business Majors did a big spring cleaning. They also went shopping for new office supplies, and started a brand-new binder with fresh paper and new dividers. After spending Seasons 20-21 perfecting a brand-new organization system for their binder, they spent the offseason bulking up, drinking orange juice, and studying videos of prior games.

In Season 22 the Orlando Business Majors utilized their brand-new organization system to outperform every Golly team in history, setting a new single-season wins record (34-15) and winning the Season 22 Hellmouth Cup without breaking a sweat.

Business Majors in the Toroidal Cup

Texas Murder Coalition

In Toroidal/Season 20, there was some buzz around the league about the possibility of the Commissioner announcing a new Choke Artist: the Seattle Sneakers . The Curse of the Ancient Mariner had cemented itself into their lore, and the Sneakers, thirsty for a Cup series victory, knew this could be their final do-or-die opportunity. The Sneakers delivered, sweeping the Phoenix Freshrolls in the first round, sweeping the Elko Astronauts in the second round, and shutting down the Orlando Business Majors in 5 efficient games.

In the final moments after the Sneakers were celebrating their victory, the Commissioner had appear to them from the static, like an apparition, and presented the Sneakers with a choice: Cake or Death? The Sneakers shouted "Cake!" - and the Commissioner disappeared just as quickly as they had appeared. Later, the Sneakers learned that the Baltimore Texas had been presented with the remaining option, Or Death, and was subsequently incinerated as part of the Cancel Texas Memo.

After all of these events had taken place, and documented, and discussed, and digested, everyone in the league began to afford a certain level of respect to teams who had been involved in the incineration of the Texas. This informal ranking was later studied and formalized by Goober Boylston in a "Boylston on Boylston Violence" column. The ranking was dubbed the Texas Murder Coalition, and consists of teams who participated in the postseason bracket of Toroidal/Season 20, directly or indirectly, and who as a consequence led to the Seattle Sneakers winning the Toroidal Cup, being presented with the choice of Cake or Death, and leaving the Baltimore Texas to their fate of Or Death.

The list, in order of culpability/veneration:

1. Seattle Sneakers
2. Orlando Business Majors

1. Elko Astronauts
2. Delaware Corporate Shells
3. Phoenix Freshrolls
4. Long Beach Flightless Birds
5. Boylston Boogers
6. Albuquerque Solarpunks
7. Jersey OSHA Violations

Season by Season Summary

Season-by-Season Summaries for Orlando Business Majors .

Orlando Business Majors in the Hellmouth Cup

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ORL}}

• In Season 1 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
• In Season 2 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Detroit Grape Chews 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Elko Astronauts 4-2.
• In Season 3 the Orlando Business Majors were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Detroit Grape Chews 2-3.
• In Season 4 the Orlando Business Majors were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Detroit Grape Chews 1-3.
• In Season 5 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 2-3.
• In Season 6 the Orlando Business Majors were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the San Francisco Boat Shoes 1-3.
• In Season 8 the Orlando Business Majors were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Alewife Arsonists 1-3.
• In Season 9 the Orlando Business Majors were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 2-3.
• In Season 11 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Alewife Arsonists 2-3.
• In Season 12 the Orlando Business Majors were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Alewife Arsonists 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the San Francisco Boat Shoes 1-3.
• In Season 13 the Orlando Business Majors were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the San Francisco Boat Shoes .
• In Season 14 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Hot League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 44.
  • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
• In Season 15 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Hot League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 45.
  • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
• In Season 16 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Hot League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 46.
  • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
• In Season 17 the Orlando Business Majors were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Alewife Arsonists 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by sweeping the Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-0 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 4-3.
• In Season 19 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
• In Season 20 the Orlando Business Majors were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Albuquerque Solarpunks 1-3.
• In Season 21 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Albuquerque Solarpunks .
• In Season 22 the Orlando Business Majors were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Boylston Boogers 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Seattle Sneakers 4-2.
• In Season 23 the Orlando Business Majors were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Albuquerque Solarpunks 2-3.

Orlando Business Majors in the Toroidal Cup

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ORL}}

• In Toroidal/Season 1 the Orlando Business Majors were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Delaware Corporate Shells 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 2 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
• In Toroidal/Season 6 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Toroidal/Season 8 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Boylston Boogers and the Alewife Arsonists .
• In Toroidal/Season 9 the Orlando Business Majors were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 12 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence , 2-4.
• In Toroidal/Season 13 the Orlando Business Majors were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 14 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
• In Toroidal/Season 16 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Sacramento Boot Lickers .
• In Toroidal/Season 17 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Detroit Grape Chews .
• In Toroidal/Season 18 the Orlando Business Majors were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by sweeping the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-0 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Toroidal Cup champions by defeating the Long Beach Flightless Birds 4-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 19 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Detroit Grape Chews .
• In Toroidal/Season 20 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Boylston Boogers 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Delaware Corporate Shells 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Seattle Sneakers , 1-4.
• In Toroidal/Season 21 the Orlando Business Majors were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 22 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Alewife Arsonists and the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Toroidal/Season 23 the Orlando Business Majors did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Vegas Vampires .

Orlando Business Majors in the Rainbow Cup

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ORL}}

• In Rainbow/Season 4 the Orlando Business Majors were the #4 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in first place ahead of the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
  • They came in fourth in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 34🌈 to finish 31🌈 behind the first-place San Francisco Boat Shoes .
• In Rainbow/Season 7 the Orlando Business Majors were the #1 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They earned the second spot in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the Boylston Boogers .
  • They came in second in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 53🌈 to finish 14🌈 behind the first-place Boylston Boogers .
• In Rainbow/Season 8 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in first place ahead of the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
  • They came in third in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 35🌈 to finish 33🌈 behind the first-place Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Rainbow/Season 24 the Orlando Business Majors were the #2 seed in the Unwest League.
  • They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Mobile Wheels and the Milwaukee Flamingos .

Art

Logo and Branding

The Orlando Business Majors saved enough money over several months to commission an artist to design their logo. Unfortunately this drained the savings of the entire team, who now face the prospect of having to find a high-paying corporate job that requires them to leave their morals at the door. The team therefore considers their commissioned team logo to be a cursed object that can eat the future.

Cup Posters

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