Albuquerque Solarpunks

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Albuquerque Solarpunks
Albuquerque Solarpunks logo
"Imagine a different future"
Team Information
Name Albuquerque Solarpunks
Primary Color #d41199
Logo  ABQ.png 
Abbreviation ABQ
Nickname Punks
Hometown Albuquerque, NM
Emoji 🌞
Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Mixtape Albuquerque🌞Solarpunks🌞
Divination
Element Fire
Power Word Green
Motto
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

The ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks (The Punks) are a Golly team from Albuquerque, New Mexico. They joined the league in Season 16 of the Hellmouth Cup.

Like the VV.png Vegas Vampires , the Solarpunks are time travelers; their club was founded in 2083 (in a parallel universe) by a group of federated anarcho-collectivist commune-syndicates. The club became stranded when they traveled back in time, not only traveling further back in the past than intended, but also traveling to a past parallel universe where they had not studied time travel in college but instead dropped out and became a Golly sports team.

When the team realized they'd been stranded in time in a stub universe, they decided to embrace their new vocation, and began to spread their Solarpunk philosophy, gaining mainstream prominence that would eventually lead to their future disbanding in 2083 (the present reality, as opposed to the parallel universe where they founded in 2083).

During their first few seasons, the team was initially funded through a community picogrant micronetwork system, rejecting traditional methods of bankrolling a Golly team in favor of picotransactions on the hyperchain micronetwork (transactions that are thousands of times smaller than microtransactions). This approach was expensive and nearly bankrupted the team due to throughput issues (it took on average 2 hours and 15 million transactions to purchase a hot dog at the Solarpunks' stadium).

Team Character

The Solarpunks are deeply committed idealists. They continually challenge the status quo and have a long history of anti-establishmentarianism.

Skeptical to a fault, the Solarpunks also have deep expertise in political theory, systems of government, and the psychology of politics, which they can discuss at great lengths in order to fill dead air or hypnotize bystanders who happen to be listening.

Solarpunks have a deep desire to appear invincible to others, sometimes driving them to callousness. At the advice of their therapist they have begun to cultivate their own humility and humanity by volunteering at an ant colony rehabilitation center, where their favorite activity is feeding large globs of peanut butter to famished ants.

Team decisions are made through a modified consensus protocol that they call "Rhizomatic Democracy," an exhaustively-documented system involving multiple rounds of RFCs, public forums, discussions, memoranda, and feedback rounds. The Solarpunks have documented "Rhizomatic Democracy" extensively, openly sharing their documentation with other organizations looking to escape hierarchical decision-making structures. Their commitment to horizontal organization often leads to chaotic and lengthy team strategy sessions, wide-scale confusion about player and coach roles, and long, drawn-out time-outs in which dozens of huddles must take place. This leads to much frustration and anger during the Solarpunks' away matches.

The Solarpunks' headquarters, known as "The Greenhouse," is a carbon-negative living building that generates 150% of its energy needs through an array of transparent photovoltaic surfaces. The structure is a working model of the team's cellular automata principles, with rooms that reconfigure based on air circulation driven by a natural convection channel built into the center of the building.

Solarpunks in the Hellmouth Cup

The Solarpunks joined the Golly league during the Season 16 expansion of the Hellmouth Cup. They joined the league together with the SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence , SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers , and FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls .

The Solarpunks joined the SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers , ORL.png Orlando Business Majors , AA.png Alewife Arsonists , and BB.png Boylston Boogers in the Hot Water division.

Flamepunk Crown

When the ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks joined the Hellmouth Cup in Season 16, they joined the same division as the AA.png Alewife Arsonists . The Solarpunks were critical of the Arsonists' use of fossil fuels to start fires, calling it a "crutch" in a statement to the press in which they called out the Arsonists by name. This led to a tense rivalry developing between the Solarpunks and the Arsonists, nicknamed the Flamepunk Crown. Soon after, the two teams collaborated on the Green Mug, an Arsonist slang term for a Molotov cocktail with a pyrophoric igniter and using biomass-derived methanol in place of the traditional gasoline. (Mug is Arsonist slang for any Molotov cocktail with a pyrophoric igniter and a fossil fuel.)

Notable Personnel

Former Captains

  • Zephyr Soleil (Hellmouth Cup) - A former quantum computing prodigy who abandoned a lucrative career designing cloud computers and pursued a not-so-lucrative career designing actual clouds after a spiritual awakening during a desert retreat. Known for leading the Solarpunks to the playoffs with the "Perpetual Garden" strategy, but also for choking in two Championship Series and for chronic absenteeism. Defenestration at the end of the Season 24 season.
  • Theo "Pattern Oracle" Washington (Toroidal Cup) - Statistical analyst and theoretical mathematician whose predictive models of pattern evolution were (and still are) considered the most accurate in the league. Routinely published algorithms the Solarpunks found effective so other teams could use them, defying specific instructions not to by management. Has survived several dozen kidnapping attempts by rival Golly syndicates and opposing teams, but has managed to escape each attempt through random dumb luck, and has remained unaware of all but 1 attempt. Unaware of the 2 biographies and major motion picture biopic about his life.
  • Marco Fabio (co-captain, Rainbow Cup, Klein Cup) - Defensive specialist and former chess grandmaster who views cellular automata as "chess without human baggage." Creator of the "Renewable Firewall" defensive formation. Favorite cheese is cheddar.
  • Dan Okra (co-captain, Rainbow Cup, Klein Cup) - The team's youngest member and pattern evolution prodigy. Built a 157-cell spaceship (the largest anyone had ever seen at the time) at the age of five. Developed three novel stable oscillators that revolutionized defensive play in the Golly League. Known for playing up to 15 games of Wordle at a time with each coworker.

Season by Season Summary

Season-by-Season Summaries for ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks .

Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Hellmouth Cup

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph ABQ.png

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}


Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Toroidal Cup

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph ABQ.png

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}


Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Rainbow Cup

RainbowSeasonsQuantileGraph ABQ.png

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}


Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Klein Cup

KleinSeasonsQuantileGraph ABQ.png

{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}


Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Hellmouth II Cup

HellmouthIISeasonsQuantileGraph ABQ.png

{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}


Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Star II Cup

800px

{{StarIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}

Template:SeasonBySeason StarIICup ABQ

Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Hellmouth III Cup

HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph ABQ.png

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}


Albuquerque Solarpunks in the Star III Cup

800px

{{StarIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron ABQ}}

Template:SeasonBySeason StarIIICup ABQ


Art

Cup Posters

ToroidalSeason19 Poster.png

ToroidalSeason22 Poster.png

ToroidalSeason23 Poster.png

Navboxes

Hellmouth V League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth V Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth v teams   •   edit
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