Difference between revisions of "Template:ToroidalTexasMurderCoalitionFragment"
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| − | In [[Toroidal/Season 20]], there was some buzz around the league about the possibility of the | + | In [[Toroidal/Season 20]], there was some buzz around the league about the possibility of the Commissioner announcing a new [[Choke Artist]]: the {{CTeam|SS}}. The Curse of the Ancient Mariner had cemented itself into their lore, and the Sneakers, thirsty for a Cup series victory, knew this could be their final do-or-die opportunity. The Sneakers delivered, sweeping the {{CTeam|FF}} in the first round, sweeping the {{CTeam|EA}} in the second round, and shutting down the {{CTeam|ORL}} in 5 efficient games. |
In the final moments after the Sneakers were celebrating their victory, the Commissioner had appear to them from the static, like an apparition, and presented the Sneakers with a choice: [[Cake or Death]]? | In the final moments after the Sneakers were celebrating their victory, the Commissioner had appear to them from the static, like an apparition, and presented the Sneakers with a choice: [[Cake or Death]]? | ||
Latest revision as of 02:37, 23 November 2025
In Toroidal/Season 20, there was some buzz around the league about the possibility of the Commissioner announcing a new Choke Artist: the
Seattle Sneakers
. The Curse of the Ancient Mariner had cemented itself into their lore, and the Sneakers, thirsty for a Cup series victory, knew this could be their final do-or-die opportunity. The Sneakers delivered, sweeping the
Phoenix Freshrolls
in the first round, sweeping the
Elko Astronauts
in the second round, and shutting down the
Orlando Business Majors
in 5 efficient games.
In the final moments after the Sneakers were celebrating their victory, the Commissioner had appear to them from the static, like an apparition, and presented the Sneakers with a choice: Cake or Death?
"Cake," the Sneakers had shouted, and the Commissioner disappeared just as quickly as they had appeared. Only later did the Sneakers learn that the
Baltimore Texas
had been presented with the remaining option, Or Death, and was subsequently incinerated as part of the Cancel Texas Memo.
After all of these events had taken place, and documented, and discussed, and digested, the league gradually afforded a certain level of respect to teams who had been involved in the incineration of the Texas. This informal ranking was later studied and formalized by Goober Boylston in a "Boylston on Boylston Violence" column. The ranking was dubbed the Texas Murder Coalition, and consists of teams who participated in the postseason bracket of Toroidal/Season 20, directly or indirectly, and who as a consequence led to the Seattle Sneakers winning the Toroidal Cup, being presented with the choice of Cake or Death, and leaving the Baltimore Texas to their fate of Or Death.
The list, in order of culpability/veneration: