Alewife Arsonists
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The Alewife Arsonists
are a Golly team from the Alewife Metro Station in the Alewife district of Cambridge, a neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts. Unsurprisingly, the Alewife Arsonists are big fans of setting things on fire in any way possible - be it a classic Molotov Cocktail or a flamethrower attached to a drone.
In Season 14 the Alewife Arsonists were shocked to discover that their cross-town rivals the Boylston Boogers
were joining the Golly league, replacing the
Atlanta Glitter Sharks
. The Arsonists and Boogers have been frenemies since childhood, and compete each year for the MTA Crown.
Team Character
Team members and fans alike share a love of setting things on fire - absolutely anything, by any means.
Arsonists in the Hellmouth Cup
Flamepunk Crown
When the Albuquerque Solarpunks
joined the Hellmouth Cup in Season 16, they joined the same division as the
Alewife Arsonists
. The Solarpunks were critical of the Arsonists' use of fossil fuels to start fires, calling it a "crutch" in a statement to the press in which they called out the Arsonists by name. This led to a tense rivalry developing between the Solarpunks and the Arsonists, nicknamed the Flamepunk Crown. Soon after, the two teams collaborated on the Green Mug, an Arsonist slang term for a Molotov cocktail with a pyrophoric igniter and using biomass-derived methanol in place of the traditional gasoline. (Mug is Arsonist slang for any Molotov cocktail with a pyrophoric igniter and a fossil fuel.)
MTA Crown
In Season 14 of the Hellmouth Cup the Atlanta Glitter Sharks
became the Quitter Sharks and quit the Hot Water division. They were replaced by the
Boylston Boogers
.
This came as a great shock to the Alewife Arsonists
, also in the Hot Water division, as the two teams are lifelong frenemies. The Boogers hail from the Boylston Street station on the Green Line of the Boston Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) system, while the Arsonists hail from the Alewife station. The two immediately established the MTA Crown as the seasonal competition between the two teams.
The two teams have been connected for their entire existence, and both teams' fan bases are from Boston. As a result, the traditions and stories around the MTA Crown involve in-jokes, niche cultural references, and a constant barrage of references to the "glory days" of the respective teams. Most aspects of the rivalry are poorly understood by outsiders. Ironically, however, despite their shared traditions, common home team, and in-jokes that only they get, fans and players of Alewife and Boylston will fight like cats and dogs if left unattended.
Arsonists in the Toroidal Cup
Arsonists in the Rainbow Cup
Season by Season Summary
Season-by-Season Summaries for Alewife Arsonists
.
Alewife Arsonists in the Hellmouth Cup
{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}
- In Season 2 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Milwaukee Flamingos 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Season 6 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 2-3.
- They defeated the
- In Season 7 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They swept the
Milwaukee Flamingos 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Delaware Corporate Shells 1-3.
- They swept the
- In Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Orlando Business Majors 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by sweeping the
Detroit Grape Chews 3-0 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the
Seattle Sneakers 4-1.
- They defeated the
- In Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Milwaukee Flamingos 1-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Season 11 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Orlando Business Majors 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners , 1-4.
- They defeated the
- In Season 12 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
Orlando Business Majors .
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
- In Season 13 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
Milwaukee Flamingos .
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
- In Season 14 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Boylston Boogers 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Season 16 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Delaware Corporate Shells 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the
Elko Astronauts , 1-4.
- They defeated the
- In Season 17 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Orlando Business Majors 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Season 19 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They swept the
Delaware Corporate Shells 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 4-1.
- They swept the
Alewife Arsonists in the Toroidal Cup
{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}
- In Toroidal/Season 1 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Delaware Corporate Shells 1-3.
- They defeated the
- In Toroidal/Season 5 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Toroidal/Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Boylston Boogers 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the
Tucson Butchers , 1-4.
- They defeated the
- In Toroidal/Season 13 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Sacramento Boot Lickers 1-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Toroidal/Season 19 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Albuquerque Solarpunks 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Toroidal/Season 22 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
Vegas Vampires .
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
Alewife Arsonists in the Rainbow Cup
{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}
- In Rainbow/Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League.
- They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the
Orlando Business Majors and the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
- They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the
- In Rainbow/Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League.
- They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the
Milwaukee Flamingos .
- They came in fourth in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 27🌈 to finish 44🌈 behind the first-place
Milwaukee Flamingos .
- They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the
- In Rainbow/Season 12 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Unwest League.
- They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the
Boylston Boogers .
- They came in fourth in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 17🌈 to finish 62🌈 behind the first-place
Grand Junction Conjunctions .
- They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the
- In Rainbow/Season 13 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League.
- They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the
Louisville Illusionists .
- They won the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 72🌈 to finish 22🌈 ahead of the
Vegas Vampires .
- They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the
- In Rainbow/Season 17 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League.
- They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers and the
Delaware Corporate Shells .
- They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the
- In Rainbow/Season 19 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League.
- They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers and the
Milwaukee Flamingos .
- They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the
Alewife Arsonists in the Klein Cup
{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}
- In Klein/Season 3 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Boylston Boogers 2-4.
- They defeated the
- In Klein/Season 5 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Vegas Vampires 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Klein/Season 7 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Vegas Vampires 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Klein/Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
Jersey OSHA Violations .
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
- In Klein/Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Vegas Vampires 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 4-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Klein Cup Series to the
Elko Astronauts , 3-4.
- They defeated the
- In Klein/Season 10 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Klein/Season 14 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They swept the
Vegas Vampires 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 4-3 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Klein Cup Series to the
Sacramento Boot Lickers , 2-4.
- They swept the
- In Klein/Season 16 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Detroit Grape Chews 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Klein/Season 21 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Boylston Boogers 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Jersey OSHA Violations 3-4.
- They defeated the
Alewife Arsonists in the Hellmouth II Cup
{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}
- In Hellmouth II/Season 1 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 3 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Milwaukee Flamingos 1-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 5 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Vegas Vampires 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 1-4.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They swept the
Milwaukee Flamingos 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-4.
- They swept the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 12 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They swept the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Vegas Vampires 4-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They became Hellmouth II Cup champions by defeating the
Phoenix Freshrolls 4-2.
- They swept the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 13 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 4-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Hellmouth II Cup Series to the
Elko Astronauts , 2-4.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 15 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Detroit Grape Chews 4-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Hellmouth II Cup Series to the
Albuquerque Solarpunks , 2-4.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 18 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They swept the
Vegas Vampires 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Delaware Corporate Shells 3-4.
- They swept the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 20 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Fargo Flea Flickers 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Detroit Grape Chews 4-3 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They lost the Hellmouth II Cup Series to the
Elko Astronauts , 3-4.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth II/Season 24 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Fargo Flea Flickers 1-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Alewife Arsonists in the Hellmouth III Cup
{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}
- In Hellmouth III/Season 2 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Jersey OSHA Violations 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 6 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Detroit Grape Chews 4-3 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They became Hellmouth III Cup champions by defeating the
Elko Astronauts 4-2.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 7 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Boylston Boogers 3-4.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Fargo Flea Flickers 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
Vegas Vampires .
- They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 12 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Milwaukee Flamingos 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Jersey OSHA Violations 3-4.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 16 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
- They defeated the
Jersey OSHA Violations 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the
Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-4.
- They defeated the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 18 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
- They swept the
Boylston Boogers 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
- They clinched the pennant by defeating the
Vegas Vampires 4-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
- They were swept in the Hellmouth III Cup Series by the
Phoenix Freshrolls .
- They swept the
- In Hellmouth III/Season 22 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Fargo Flea Flickers 2-3.
- They lost the Hot League Division Series to the
Art
Minimalist Logo
The Alewife Arsonists announced a rebranding at the conclusion of Season 24, the last season of the Hellmouth Cup, and came out with a new minimalist Alewife Arsonists logo:
The Alewife Arsonists did not publicly announce their rebranding campaign. The Arsonists released their logo during a press conference following the Season 24 League Championship Series, which their cross-town rivals the Boylston Boogers won over the Albuquerque Solarpunks. The press conference was simultaneously happening with a Boylston Boogers press conference, also in Boston, across town, where the Boogers were also releasing new logos in preparation The logos were released simultaneously.
The Boylston Boogers logo that was released appears remarkably similar:
Litigation has been ongoing for over 24 seasons (the entire duration of the Toroidal Cup) and continues to this day. It is widely suspected that the Boogers and Arsonists hired the same graphic designer for their logo redesign, leading to the similar logos, and that when the logos were simultaneously released and the similarities reveale to the world, both teams went to the same team of lawyers to sue their cross-town rival.
Cup Posters
Hellmouth Cup Teams |
Cold Fire Division | |
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Cold Water Division | ||
Hot Fire Division | ||
Hot Water Division |
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Navbox Info: | ||
Template:Navbox hellmouth teams • edit |
Toroidal Cup Teams |
Cold Fire Division |
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Cold Water Division |
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Hot Fire Division |
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Hot Water Division | ||
Navbox Info: | ||
Template:Navbox toroidal teams • edit |
Rainbow Cup Teams |
Unwest League, Cold Division | |
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Unwest League, Northunwest Division | ||
Unwest League, South Division | ||
West League, Mountain Division | ||
West League, Pacific Division | ||
West League, Southwest Division | ||
Navbox Info: | ||
Template:Navbox rainbow teams • edit |
Klein Cup Teams |
Cold Fire Division | |
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Cold Water Division | ||
Hot Fire Division | ||
Hot Water Division | ||
Navbox Info: | ||
Template:Navbox klein teams • edit |