San Francisco Boat Shoes

San Francisco Boat Shoes
"Anchors away!"
Team Information
Name San Francisco Boat Shoes Primary Color #e7d7c1 Logo    Abbreviation SFBS Nickname The Shoes Hometown San Francisco Emoji ⚓️ Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
Cali Crown    Surf and Turf Crown    Chews Versus Shoes Crown
Favorites
Integer 61 Movie The Natural
Divination
Element Water Power Word Egocentric
Motto
Pro gloria et fama et fortuito infamatus est (For glory and fame and a chance to become infamous)
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

The San Francisco Boat Shoes (The Shoes) are a Golly team from San Francisco, California, and are one of the original 16 Golly teams. The Boat Shoes are the prima donnas of the Golly league, seeing themselves as the leading character in all of the ongoing drama in Golly. Their rivalry with the Sacramento Boot Lickers , the Cali Crown, is considered the most intense rivalry in Golly.

The Boat Shoes hold a number of Golly records and have accomplished many firsts, including:

• most Hellmouth Cup championships (6)
• most Hellmouth Cup championship appearances (7)
• first team to achieve a Dynasty (three championships in one Cup)
• first team to achieve a Flawless Dynasty (three championships in three attempts)
• first team to achieve a second Dynasty
• first team to achieve a Double Flawless Dynasty (six championships in six attempts)
• first team to achieve two Dynasties in a single Cup (Hellmouth Cup)
• first Hot League pennant winner
• team with the most Hellmouth Cup postseason victories all-time (30, which is 8 more than the runner-up)
• team with the highest postseason winning percentage all-time (55%)
• only Golly team in any Cup to have a postseason winning percentage over 50%
• team with the longest winning streak (14 wins, Hellmouth Cup Season 20)
• last team to win a championship when the fix was in (see Season 3/Fixing Scandal)

Part of the marvel of the Boat Shoes is that their incredible performance in the postseason stands in marked contrast to their completely mediocre performance during the regular season.

Team Character

Disappearance of San Francisco Boat Shoes Fans

Fans of the San Francisco Boat Shoes are known for their loudness and boisterousness and swagger. However, when things go terribly for the San Francisco Boat Shoes, when their season is in flames or they blow it in the Big Game, Boat Shoes fans collectively perform a disappearing act for several weeks. Friends and relatives of Boat Shoes fans sometimes report their relatives and loved ones as missing, resulting in a flood of missing persons reports whenever the Boat Shoes are knocked out of the playoffs or have a particularly bad season.

The unofficial slogan of the San Francisco Boat Shoes fan base is, "When we're winning, you can't stand us. When we're losing, you can't find us." This has become a rallying cry among Boat Shoes fans - when you can find them...

Boat Shoes in the Hellmouth Cup

Season 8 Seattle Sneakers Rivalry or Anti-Rivalry

During Season 8 the Boat Shoes reportedly became obsessed with the meteoric rise of the Seattle Sneakers and became intensely jealous of the attention the Sneakers received during their Season 8 playoffs run.

The Boat Shoes submitted trademark paperwork for naming rights to any future Crown rivalry that may develop between the Boat Shoe and the Sneakers should they ever face each other in a Hellmouth Cup, including merchandise rights (a major source of revenue for the Boat Shoes).

In response, the Seattle Sneakers issued a press release claiming to have never heard of the "Boat Shoes" and that any footwear-related teams must have been ripping off the Seattle brand, which reportedly enraged Boat Shoes players.

Boat Shoes in the Toroidal Cup

One Point Causes the Decline and Fall of the San Francisco Boat Shoes

While the downfall of the San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Toroidal Cup may seem inevitable after the fact, it was not a foregone conclusion, with the Boat Shoes dominating the Hellmouth Cup and making a solid showing early, rolling up the Toroidal/Season 6 postseason and defeating the Elko Astronauts to win the Toroidal Cup. However, after a string of over a dozen Toroidal Cup seasons where the Boat Shoes either didn't make the postseason at all, or were knocked out before they could make it to the final Cup Series, the Boat Shoes were desperate for the taste of another championship. Even their postseason performances were anemic.

The Toroidal/Season 15 postseason (the League Division Series, LDS) featured a showdown between the long and bitter rivals, San Francisco Boat Shoes and Sacramento Boot Lickers . Neither team had met up during the regular season for the Cali Crown, but after a long string of defeats at the hands of the Boot Lickers, the Boat Shoes had finally managed to best the Boot Lickers in their matchups 4 seasons in a row. Going into the series, many commentators said it was the single most important series in the history of the Boat Shoes franchise.

The division series went back and forth, ending up tied up at 2-2. In Game 5 ( 0fe0cbc8-adaf-4c27-84bc-6ea2fa720870), the deciding game of the series, the neck-and-neck battle continued to the very end, when the Boot Lickers shocked the Boat Shoes and the entire world with a single-point photo finish, 159-158, while the Boat Shoes were in the middle of a formation.

History now shows that the outcome of the series would come to define both teams. The Boot Lickers would go on to the Toroidal Cup, and be robbed of a championship title by the sordid Piano Tuners in the Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal. The San Francisco Boat Shoes' Season 15 Division Series loss to the Boot Lickers marked a significant moral defeat and the beginning of a long, protracted, and melodramatic downward slide for the Boat Shoes.

Season by Season Summary

Season-by-Season Summaries for San Francisco Boat Shoes .

San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Hellmouth Cup

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SFBS}}

• In Season 1 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the Long Beach Flightless Birds , 2-4.
• In Season 3 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Atlanta Glitter Sharks 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Elko Astronauts 4-3.
• In Season 6 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Orlando Business Majors 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Alewife Arsonists 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the San Diego Balloon Animals 4-1.
• In Season 10 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Atlanta Glitter Sharks 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 2-3.
• In Season 12 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Orlando Business Majors 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Jersey OSHA Violations 4-3.
• In Season 13 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Orlando Business Majors 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Championship Series by the Milwaukee Flamingos .
• In Season 16 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 2-3.
• In Season 18 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Albuquerque Solarpunks 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Boylston Boogers 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Long Beach Flightless Birds 4-2.
• In Season 20 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Detroit Grape Chews 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Albuquerque Solarpunks 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They swept the Long Beach Flightless Birds 4-0 to became Hellmouth Cup champions.
• In Season 24 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Delaware Corporate Shells 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by sweeping the Boylston Boogers 3-0 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Salt Lake Turbulence 4-2.

San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Toroidal Cup

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SFBS}}

• In Toroidal/Season 1 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Alewife Arsonists 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 6 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Boylston Boogers 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Delaware Corporate Shells 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Toroidal Cup champions by defeating the Elko Astronauts 4-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 10 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 11 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Boylston Boogers 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 14 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Boylston Boogers .
• In Toroidal/Season 15 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 24 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .

San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Rainbow Cup

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SFBS}}

• In Rainbow/Season 1 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the West League.
  • They clinched the pennant in the West League Championship Series by coming in first place ahead of the Phoenix Freshrolls .
  • They came in fourth in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 35🌈 to finish 18🌈 behind the first-place Jersey OSHA Violations .
• In Rainbow/Season 4 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the West League.
  • They clinched the pennant in the West League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the Phoenix Freshrolls .
  • They won the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 65🌈 to finish 19🌈 ahead of the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Rainbow/Season 17 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the West League.
  • They clinched the pennant in the West League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the Seattle Sneakers .
  • They came in third in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 40🌈 to finish 24🌈 behind the first-place Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Rainbow/Season 19 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the West League.
  • They were knocked out in the West League Championship Series by the Tucson Butchers and the Grand Junction Conjunctions .
• In Rainbow/Season 22 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the West League.
  • They clinched the pennant in the West League Championship Series by coming in first place ahead of the Grand Junction Conjunctions .
  • They came in second in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 52🌈 to finish 2🌈 behind the first-place Delaware Corporate Shells .
• In Rainbow/Season 24 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the West League.
  • They clinched the pennant in the West League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the Sacramento Boot Lickers .
  • They won the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 68🌈 to finish 19🌈 ahead of the Sacramento Boot Lickers .

San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Klein Cup

{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SFBS}}

• In Klein/Season 3 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Alewife Arsonists 2-3.
• In Klein/Season 4 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Delaware Corporate Shells 1-3.
• In Klein/Season 5 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Boylston Boogers 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Vegas Vampires 3-4.
• In Klein/Season 6 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Vegas Vampires 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-4.
• In Klein/Season 7 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Vegas Vampires 4-1 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Klein Cup champions by defeating the Elko Astronauts 4-2.
• In Klein/Season 9 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Fargo Flea Flickers 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Alewife Arsonists 2-4.
• In Klein/Season 10 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-4.
• In Klein/Season 11 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Detroit Grape Chews 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 2-4.
• In Klein/Season 12 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 1-3.
• In Klein/Season 13 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Boylston Boogers 2-3.
• In Klein/Season 14 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Alewife Arsonists 3-4.
• In Klein/Season 15 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Vegas Vampires 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 4-3 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They were swept in the Klein Cup Series by the Albuquerque Solarpunks .
• In Klein/Season 20 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 1-3.

San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Hellmouth II Cup

{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SFBS}}

• In Hellmouth II/Season 1 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Alewife Arsonists 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Jersey OSHA Violations 4-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth II Cup champions by defeating the Salt Lake Turbulence 4-2.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 4 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Jersey OSHA Violations 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 7 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-4.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 8 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-4.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 9 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Alewife Arsonists 4-3 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Hellmouth II Cup Series to the Long Beach Flightless Birds , 1-4.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 10 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Jersey OSHA Violations 3-4.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 13 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 15 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Alewife Arsonists 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 16 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Jersey OSHA Violations 2-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 17 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by sweeping the Delaware Corporate Shells 4-0 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Hellmouth II Cup Series to the Tucson Butchers , 2-4.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 18 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Delaware Corporate Shells 1-3.
• In Hellmouth II/Season 19 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • They swept the Jersey OSHA Violations 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Championship Series by the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Hellmouth II/Season 23 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Detroit Grape Chews .

San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Hellmouth III Cup

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SFBS}}

• In Hellmouth III/Season 1 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Vegas Vampires .
• In Hellmouth III/Season 3 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Delaware Corporate Shells 4-2 in the Hot League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Hellmouth III Cup Series to the Albuquerque Solarpunks , 1-4.
• In Hellmouth III/Season 4 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Detroit Grape Chews 2-3.
• In Hellmouth III/Season 6 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Alewife Arsonists 1-3.
• In Hellmouth III/Season 9 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Boylston Boogers .
• In Hellmouth III/Season 13 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #4 seed in the Hot League.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Jersey OSHA Violations .
• In Hellmouth III/Season 14 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • They defeated the Vegas Vampires 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series.
  • They were swept in the Hot League Championship Series by the Delaware Corporate Shells .
• In Hellmouth III/Season 16 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 1-3.
• In Hellmouth III/Season 19 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Fargo Flea Flickers 1-3.
• In Hellmouth III/Season 20 the San Francisco Boat Shoes were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Vegas Vampires 2-3.

Artwork

Team Logo

The Artists Union created this logo for the San Francisco Boat Shoes during Season 14:

Cup Posters