Detroit Grape Chews

The Detroit Grape Chews are a Golly team from Detroit, Michigan. Early in the team's history the Grape Chews were famous for their rivalry with the Milwaukee Flamingos , dubbed the Midwest Crown, but eventually they became famous as the Hot League Choke Artists due to the fact that they have never clinched a pennant or appeared in a Cup series. (The Baltimore Texas were famous as the Cold League Choke Artists).

Detroit Grape Chews
"Chews wisely! Chews loudly!"
Team Information
Name Detroit Grape Chews Abbreviation DET Nickname Masters of Choke Primary Color #9963ab Logo    Hometown Detroit Emoji Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Divination
Motto
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

Team Character

The Detroit Grape Chews have thin skin and have a well-known propensity to start fistfights with strangers or settle arguments with fists. In fact fans of opposing teams will often taunt the Grape Chews on the grid in order to rile up the players, who will then start fistfights on the grid with other players.

Grape Chews are very insecure and have fragile egos. Their inability to perform in high-pressure postseason games is a negative feedback loop: each time they fail to deliver in the postseason, it increases the expectations and pressure for the next appearance. Mounting pressure leads to anxiety and poor performance, which causes them to choke and lose matches, and so the cycle continues.

The arcana of the Grape Chews is the Blasted Tower - the symbol of ambition constructed on faulty premises.

Grape Chews in the Hellmouth Cup

The Big Purple Machine

The Grape Chews had no problems getting to the postseason - they were in the postseason for the first 7 seasons of the Hellmouth Cup. Their consistency in powering through other teams during the regular season earned the team the nickname "Big Purple Machine" - but as season after season went by, and the Grape Chews lost series after series, the "Big Purple Machine" nickname fell out of general use in favor of the more pithy and fitting nickname, "Choke Artists".

Midwest Crown and Rivalry with Milwaukee Flamingos

Main: Midwest Crown

The rivalry between the Detroit Grape Chews and the Milwaukee Flamingos is a long and complicated rivalry. Much of the Detroit Grape Chews' team identity has been formed from the rivalry, and evidence has shown that the on-field fistfights during Grape Chews-Flamingos matches are more intense and result in more injuries than fistfights between the Grape Chews and any other team.

The Milwaukee Flamingos have sought to establish an identity independent of the Grape Chews, as a benevolent flock of birds, which has led to increased tensions and an intensification of the rivalry. After their rivals won the Hellmouth Cup in Season 9, Grape Chews players become obsessed with the Milwaukee Flamingos, reportedly talking about nothing else in the clubhouse, and the Grape Chews' performance suffered as a result - for only the second time in 10 seasons, the Grape Chews missed the playoffs.

(TBD)

Effect of Valentines Day Series on Rivalry with Detroit Grape Chews

Main: Midwest Love Triangle

(TBD)

Grape Chews in the Toroidal Cup

To Be Or Not To Be

TBA

Grape Chews in the Rainbow Cup

Rivalry with Fargo Flea Flickers

(TBD)

Season by Season Summary

The Grape Chews are an original Golly team and joined the Hellmouth Cup in Season 1.

Hellmouth Cup

A brief season-by-season summary:

• In Season 1 the Grape Chews were the #2 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Championship Series by the San Francisco Boat Shoes .
• In Season 2 the Grape Chews were the #3 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Division Series by the Orlando Business Majors .
• In Season 3 the Grape Chews were the #1 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Championship Series by the San Francisco Boat Shoes .
• In Season 4 the Grape Chews were the #2 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Championship Series by the Sacramento Boot Lickers .
• In Season 5 the Grape Chews were the #4 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Division Series by their Midwest Crown rivals the Milwaukee Flamingos .
• In Season 6 the Grape Chews were the #1 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Division Series by the Alewife Arsonists .
• Season 7 was the first season that the Detroit Grape Chews did not make the playoffs. They were the first team to Partytime on Day 43. They were sent to Partytime by their bitter Midwest Crown rivals the Milwaukee Flamingos .
• In Season 8 the Grape Chews were the #1 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Championship Series by the Alewife Arsonists .
• In Season 9 the Grape Chews were the #1 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Division Series by the Orlando Business Majors .
• In Season 11 the Grape Chews were the #4 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Championship series by the Alewife Arsonists .
• In Season 14 the Grape Chews were the #3 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Division Series by the Sacramento Boot Lickers .
• In Season 15 the Grape Chews were the #4 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Championship Series by the Delaware Corporate Shells .
• In Season 19 the Grape Chews set a new record for longest winning streak at 11 games (Day 8 - Day 18). They were the #3 seed in the Hot League. Facing the #4 seed Alewife Arsonists in the Hot League Championship Series, the Grape Chews came within 1 win of sweeping the Arsonists and clinching their first-ever Hot League pennant, but choked in the final three games and were knocked out.
• In Season 20 the Grape Chews were the #3 seed in the Hot League, but were knocked out in the Hot League Division Series by the San Francisco Boat Shoes .
• In Season 21 the Grape Chews were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They were knocked out in the Hot League Division Series by the Sacramento Boot Lickers .
• In Season 22 the Grape Chews were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They were knocked out in the Hot League Division Series by the Boylston Boogers .