Alewife Arsonists

Alewife Arsonists
"Whose house? Not ours! Burn it down!"
Team Information
Name Alewife Arsonists Abbreviation AA Primary Color #ff1717 Logo    Hometown Alewife Station, Red Line, Boston Emoji 🔥 Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Mixtape Alewife🔥Arsonists🔥 Movie Backdraft
Divination
Element Fire Power Word Troublemakers
Motto
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

The Alewife Arsonists are a Golly team from the Alewife Metro Station in the Alewife district of Cambridge, a neighborhood of Boston, Massachussetts. Unsurprisingly, the Alewife Arsonists are big fans of setting things on fire in any way possible - be it a classic Molotov Cocktail or a flamethrower attached to a drone.

In Season 14 the Alewife Arsonists were shocked to discover that their cross-town rivals the Boylston Boogers were joining the Golly league, replacing the Atlanta Glitter Sharks . The Arsonists and Boogers have been frenemies since childhood, and compete each year for the MTA Crown.

Season by Season Summary

Hellmouth Cup Summary

• In Season 2 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 2-3.
• In Season 6 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series. They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the San Francisco Boat Shoes 2-3.
• In Season 7 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They swept the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series. They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Delaware Corporate Shells 1-3.
• In Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Orlando Business Majors 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by sweeping the Detroit Grape Chews 3-0 in the Hot League Championship Series. They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Seattle Sneakers 4-1.
• In Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Milwaukee Flamingos 1-3.
• In Season 11 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Orlando Business Majors 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners , 1-4.
• In Season 12 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Orlando Business Majors .
• In Season 13 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Milwaukee Flamingos .
• In Season 14 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Boylston Boogers 2-3.
• In Season 16 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Delaware Corporate Shells 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the Elko Astronauts , 1-4.
• In Season 17 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Orlando Business Majors 2-3.
• In Season 19 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They swept the Delaware Corporate Shells 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 4-1.

Toroidal Cup Summary

• In Toroidal/Season 1 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Delaware Corporate Shells 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 5 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Boylston Boogers 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Sacramento Boot Lickers 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Tucson Butchers , 1-4.
• In Toroidal/Season 13 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 19 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Albuquerque Solarpunks 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 22 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Vegas Vampires .

Rainbow Cup Summary

• In Rainbow/Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League. They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Orlando Business Majors and the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Rainbow/Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League. They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the Milwaukee Flamingos . They came in fourth in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 27🌈 to finish 44🌈 behind the first-place Milwaukee Flamingos .
• In Rainbow/Season 12 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Unwest League. They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the Boylston Boogers . They came in fourth in the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 17🌈 to finish 62🌈 behind the first-place Grand Junction Conjunctions .
• In Rainbow/Season 13 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League. They clinched the pennant in the Unwest League Championship Series by coming in second place behind the Louisville Illusionists . They won the Rainbow Cup Series, accumulating 72🌈 to finish 22🌈 ahead of the Vegas Vampires .
• In Rainbow/Season 17 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League. They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers and the Delaware Corporate Shells .
• In Rainbow/Season 19 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Unwest League. They were knocked out in the Unwest League Championship Series by the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers and the Milwaukee Flamingos .

Klein Cup Summary

• In Klein/Season 3 the Alewife Arsonists were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Boylston Boogers 2-4.
• In Klein/Season 5 the Alewife Arsonists were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Vegas Vampires 2-3.
• In Klein/Season 7 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Vegas Vampires 2-3.
• In Klein/Season 8 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Jersey OSHA Violations .
• In Klein/Season 9 the Alewife Arsonists were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Vegas Vampires 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the San Francisco Boat Shoes 4-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Klein Cup Series to the Elko Astronauts , 3-4.
• In Klein/Season 10 the Alewife Arsonists were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 2-3.

Art

Minimalist Logo

The Alewife Arsonists announced a rebranding at the conclusion of Season 24, the last season of the Hellmouth Cup, and came out with a new minimalist Alewife Arsonists logo:

The Alewife Arsonists did not publicly announce their rebranding campaign. The Arsonists released their logo during a press conference following the Season 24 League Championship Series, which their cross-town rivals the Boylston Boogers won over the Albuquerque Solarpunks. The press conference was simultaneously happening with a Boylston Boogers press conference, also in Boston, across town, where the Boogers were also releasing new logos in preparation The logos were released simultaneously.

The Boylston Boogers logo that was released appears remarkably similar:

Litigation has been ongoing for over 24 seasons (the entire duration of the Toroidal Cup) and continues to this day. It is widely suspected that the Boogers and Arsonists hired the same graphic designer for their logo redesign, leading to the similar logos, and that when the logos were simultaneously released and the similarities reveale to the world, both teams went to the same team of lawyers to sue their cross-town rival.

Cup Posters