Milwaukee Flamingos

The Milwaukee Flamingos are a Golly team from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. They are a benevolent flock of birds who love to gamble, and have an unofficial anti-rival status with every team they have ever played.

As of Toroidal/Season 21, they are the only team to achieve Dynasty status in two separate cups (the Hellmouth Cup and the Toroidal Cup).

Milwaukee Flamingos
"Birds with bad attitudes at high latitudes"
Team Information
Name Milwaukee Flamingos Abbreviation MILF Primary Color #ff66cc Logo    Hometown Milwaukee Emoji Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Divination
Motto
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

Team Character

The Milwaukee Flamingos are legendary throughout the league for their benevolence and splortsmanship. Milwaukee Flamingos are known to be fun, chill, and universally likeable.

Perhaps the most important characteristic of the Flamingos, though, is their love of gambling. When traveling for away games, the Flamingos will book their own hotel and turn the entire hotel into a gigantic multi-room casino. The Milwaukee Flamingos have enough players that they have developed their own economy, interest rates, and loans, so that every player can gamble all of the time.

Flamingos players are also experts in parliamentary rules, and every team function is run according to Robert's Rules of Order. The team had 1,562 parliamentarians in the last team census.

Flamingos in the Hellmouth Cup

Midwest Crown and Rivalry with Detroit Grape Chews

Main: Midwest Crown

The rivalry between the Detroit Grape Chews and the Milwaukee Flamingos is a long and complicated one. At the start of the Hellmouth Cup, the rivalry was considered one of the three Crown Jewels of Golly rivalries. On-field fistfights during Grape Chews-Flamingos matches were more intense and resulted in far more injuries than fistfights between the Grape Chews and any other team.

However, as the Hellmouth Cup progressed, the rivalry became much more one-way, with the Detroit Grape Chews building much of their team identity around the rivalry, but the Milwaukee Flamingos losing interest in the rivalry. The Flamingos have cited a desire to establish their own identity as a benevolent flock of birds, and distance themselves from the Grape Chews. It is a well-known fact that Milwaukee Flamingos players have never gotten into a single fistfight outside of their matches with the Detroit Grape Chews.

Season 9 Snowbird Series and Anti-Rivalry with Tucson Butchers

Main: Season 9#Snowbird Series

The Flamingos were in the Hot League, and had only faced Hot League teams until Season 5. In the Hellmouth Cup the Flamingos faced the Elko Astronauts . The Astronauts were impressed by the Flamingos, who were fun-loving, compulsive gamblers. When the Astronauts shared stories with their anti-rivals, the Tucson Butchers , the Butchers dreamed of one day getting to meat the Flamingos.

In Season 9 the Flamingos and Tucson Butchers finally faced off in the Hellmouth Cup, in a matchup dubbed the "Snowbird Series". The two teams fell deeply and instantly into a messy, complicated, inter-tangled anti-rivalry. Both teams finished the season eager to meet their anti-rivals on the grid again.

Season 10 Valentines Day Series and Continuing Anti-Rivalry with Butchers

Main: Season 10#Valentines Day Series

Due to the many unresovled storylines and tangled loose ends from the Season 9 Hellmouth Cup and newly budding anti-rivalry between the Flamingos and the Butchers, the two teams resolved to meet again soon in the Hellmouth Cup.

Working feverishly toward that end, both teams spent Season 10 attempting to make the finals. Both teams were successful, and won each round of their playoffs bracket. The two teams met for a second time on Valentine's Day, forever cementing the second series continuing their anti-rivalry as the Valentine's Day Series in the Golly history books.

Effect of Valentines Day Series on Rivalry with Detroit Grape Chews

Main: Midwest Love Triangle

The Season 9 and Season 10 Hellmouth Cup and the messy, complicated anti-rivalry between the Flamingos and Tucson Butchers is credited by many historians with being one of the principal causes for the Detroit Grape Chews becoming the Hot League Choke Artists. The Grape Chews were unable to find healthy outlets for their aggression. Faced with rejection by the Flamingos, their closest rivals, who had simply abandoned the Grape Chews for an anti-rivalry with the Butchers, the Grape Chews began manifesting their rejection by consistently choking in important postseason games (and collected zero pennants in 24 seasons of the Hellmouth Cup). Meanwhile, the Milwaukee Flamingos successfully established a Flawless Dynasty (the second in history) and their own unique identity as one of the strongest teams in the Hellmouth Cup.

Flamingos in the Toroidal Cup

First Multi-Cup Dynasty

The Milwaukee Flamingos established themselves early as a strong Toroidal Cup team. Unlike the San Francisco Boat Shoes , who decided that they had already cemented their reputation as the greatest team of all time and were checked out for most of the Toroidal Cup, the Flamingos established themselves again as a Dynasty - making the Flamingos the first team to establish a Flawless Dynasty in two Cups (the Hellmouth Cup and the Toroidal Cup).

The Dynasty Detroit Built

The Milwaukee Flamingos earned a Toroidal Cup Dynasty by winning the Toroidal championship title in Toroidal/Season 2, Toroidal/Season 10, and Toroidal/Season 17. In all 3 seasons, the Flamingos defeated the Detroit Grape Chews to clinch the Hot League pennant.

This has led to a nickname for the Toroidal Cup dynasty established by the Milwaukee Flamingos: the Dynasty Detroit Built.

The Championships the Butchers Gave Away

In Toroidal/Season 10 and again in Toroidal/Season 17 the Milwaukee Flamingos won championships over the Tucson Butchers , sealing their second Flawless Dynasty. Many critics noted that this mirrored events of the Hellmouth Cup, in which the Tucson Butchers also lost twice to the Flamingos, setting them up for their first Flawless Dynasty.

The controversy over the Flamingos winning four of their six championships by beating their anti-rivals raised questions about conflict of interest. The Tucson Butchers was suspected of throwing matches to help their anti-rivals achieve a Dynasty - if so, what did they receive in exchange?

The Commissioner's Office opened an investigation into the matter shortly after the Flamingos won their Season 17 Toroidal Cup championship.

Secret Shotgun Marriage

With the opening of an investigation, the Flamingos faced the possible revocation of two Flawless Dyanasties, incineration, and worse - eternal humiliation. It was serious, so the Milwaukee Flamingos lawyered up.

The first and most important advice the Flamingos legal team gave was for the Flamingos to immediately marry the Tucson Butchers in a shotgun wedding in Las Vegas. Getting married allowed the two teams to claim spousal privilege during the investigation, significantly hindering its progress. However, the marriage was kept secret for fear of confirming everyone's suspicions about the Butchers throwing the championship for their spouse, the Flamingos.

Marriage Goes Public

In Toroidal/Season 20, the Commissioner's Office made several important announcements:

• Announcement of the formation of the Rainbow Cup, with teams from the Toroidal Cup league
• Announcement of the infamous Cancel Texas Memo in which the Commissioner doomed the Baltimore Texas to be incinerated, and punished the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners to take on the hometown and team colors of their bitter rivals, thus creating the Baltimore Piano Tuners
• Announcement of the marriage of the Milwaukee Flamingos and Tucson Butchers

Controversy over Flamingos Dynasties

The announcement of the secret shotgun wedding between the Flamingos and Butchers in Las Vegas was met with public shock and outrage. Many fans, journalists, and commentators called for greater transparency and scrutiny of potential conflicts of interest.

While much of the criticism was aimed at the Flamingos and Butchers, most agreed the real problem was lack of accountability from the Commissioner. The Commissioner's only public statement was to state that the Commissioner would not be making a public statement on the matter, ever.

Fallout from Lawsuit

PR experts agreed that the public announcement of the marriage by the Commissioner's Office, and the subsequent refusal to comment on the matter, was an admission that the impenetrable legal defenses of the Milwaukee Flamingos legal team, together with the ingenious legal maneuver of the shotgun marriage, had successfully scuttled the investigation.

Shortly after the announcement, Z Division waged a propaganda campaign utilizing memes about Butcher-Flamingo babies that ultimately had no affect on public opinion.

Season by Season Summary

The Flamingos are an original Golly team and joined the Hellmouth Cup in Season 1.

Hellmouth Cup Summary

• In Season 5 the Milwaukee Flamingos were the #1 seed in the Hot League, and won the Hot League pennant by defeating the Sacramento Boot Lickers . They lost the Hellmouth Cup series to the Elko Astronauts .
• In Season 9 the Milwaukee Flamingos were the #3 seed in the Hot League, and won the Hot League pennant over the Orlando Business Majors . They went on to win the Hellmouth Cup series in 5 games against the Tucson Butchers in the Snowbird Series and developed a complicated, messy anti-rivalry with the Butchers.
• In Season 10 the Milwaukee Flamingos were the #4 seed in the Hot League, and won the Hot League pennant over the San Francisco Boat Shoes . They went on to win the Hellmouth Cup series in 7 days against the Tucson Butchers , continuing their complicated, messy anti-rivalry with the Butchers in the Valentines Day Series.
• In Season 13 the Milwaukee Flamingos were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They clinched the Hot League pennant by beating the San Francisco Boat Shoes , and then won the Hellmouth Cup against the Elko Astronauts in a rematch of the Season 5 Hellmouth Cup.
• In Season 20 the Milwaukee Flamingos did not make the playoffs. They were the first Hot League team to Partytime on Day 43. This was their third year in a row as first Hot League Team to Partytime, and their second year in a row being sent to Partytime by the San Francisco Boat Shoes .
• In Season 21 the Milwaukee Flamingos were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They were knocked out in the Hot League Championship Series by the Sacramento Boot Lickers .

Toroidal Cup Summary

TBA

Rainbow Cup Summary

TBA

Art

Logo

Milwaukee Flamingos team logo:

Season 5 Hellmouth Cup Poster

Season 9 Hellmouth Cup Poster

The Artists Union created a promotional poster for the Season 9 Hellmouth Cup series between the Milwaukee Flamingos and the Tucson Butchers :

Season 10 Hellmouth Cup Poster

The Artists Union copied and pasted the following promotional poster for the Season 10 Hellmouth Cup series between the Milwaukee Flamingos and the Tucson Butchers :

(NOTE: The Artists Union charged full price for both posters.)

Season 13 Hellmouth Cup Poster

Season 13 was a rematch of the Season 5 Hellmouth Cup. The Artists' Union was delighted to be able to copy-and-paste another poster and still charge full price for it: