Sacramento Boot Lickers

Sacramento Boot Lickers
"You're the best!"
Team Information
Name Sacramento Boot Lickers Abbreviation SAC Primary Color #ffb627 Logo    Hometown Sacramento Emoji 💋 Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Divination
Element Fire Power Word Obsequious
Motto
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

The Sacramento Boot Lickers (The Lickers) are a Golly team from Sacramento, California, and are one of the original 16 Golly teams. Their rivalry with the San Francisco Boat Shoes, the Cali Crown, is a rivalry unrivaled in ferocity. The Boot Lickers' eagerness to please can often result in small events or a few words spiralling out of control and becoming momentous life-or-death situations involving complex moral decisions. For this reason, the Sacramento Boot Lickers are huge fans of the butterfly effect and prolific collectors of media or merchandise referencing the butterfly effect. They are also terrified of having to make their own decisions.

Boot Lickers in the Hellmouth Cup

Season 4 Bankruptcy

Main: Season 4/Sacramento Boot Lickers Bankruptcy

The Sacramento Boot Lickers Bankruptcy was an incident that occurred after the Season 4 Hellmouth Cup championship game, which the Sacramento Boot Lickers won against the Long Beach Flightless Birds .

At the end of the previous season, Sacramento Boot Lickers fans watched with dismay as their bitter rivals, the San Francisco Boat Shoes , skated through the playoffs and claimed victory in a questionable Hellmouth Cup victory that was later tainted by scandal and litigation. As the Season 4 postseason approached, the Boot Lickers fan base was hungry for a postseason run, and the Boat Shoes were out of postseason contention, setting the stage.

The Boot Lickers finished the season in first place, beat the Atlanta Glitter Sharks and Detroit Grape Chews to clinch the Hot League pennant, and finished off the Long Beach Flightless Birds in the Hellmouth Cup.

Following their Season 4 Hellmouth Cup championship victory, the Sacramento Boot Lickers fan base celebrated in downtown Sacramento. During the celebration, several vehicles caught fire and were immolated. The scene that unfolded was an attempt by Boot Lickers fans to channel the Spirit of the Primal Fire and set the stage for the Final Judgement, which, sadly for Boot Lickers fans, did not occur.

In addition to vehicles being immolated, a single small group of individuals managed to topple a radio tower, which, being quite tall, caused extensive property damage to houses and buildings for several blocks.

Word of the destruction soon reached the Boot Lickers' clubhouse. Distressed at the thought of inconveniencing fellow Sacramentonians, all 120,000 members of the Sacramento Boot Lickers piled onto the team bus and drove to downtown Sacramento, where they scoured the streets looking for damaged property or burned vehicles, and left business cards with contact information and apologies for causing the damage.

The resulting flurry of legal suits and insurance claims against the team following these events buried the Sacramento Boot Lickers in legal costs. Their finances were completely wiped out, and one week after winning the Hellmouth Cup champion title, the Boot Lickers declared bankruptcy and began "reorganizing".

Season 21 Hellmouth Cup Thank You Card

After the Salt Lake Turbulence beat the Sacramento Boot Lickers in the Season 21 Hellmouth Cup, all of the players on the Boot Lickers pitched in to buy a comically oversized, 6-foot-tall thank-you card, signed by all 120,000 players on the Sacramento Boot Lickers, thanking the Salt Lake Turbulence for beating them in the Hellmouth Cup and congratulating the Turbulence on being the first-ever Golly expansion team to win a Hellmouth Cup championship.

When the card was delivered, the Salt Lake Turbulence had no idea what to do with it. They left it outside the front office propped against a dirty pile of snow for three days while the team deliberated. On the third day, the team invited a large crowd to the front steps of their team clubhouse and they burned the thank you card in effigy before the crowd. They put out a vague press release citing the spirits of Golly, something about rising from the ashes, invoking some kind of ancestors, and calling the matter done.

Two weeks later, all of the players of the Boot Lickers signed and sent a thank you card to thank the Salt Lake Turbulence for the beautiful and moving ceremony. The Salt Lake Turbulence burned the second thank-you card unceremoniously.

Season by Season Summary

Hellmouth Cup Summary

• In Season 1 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the San Francisco Boat Shoes 2-3.
• In Season 4 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Atlanta Glitter Sharks 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Long Beach Flightless Birds 4-2.
• In Season 5 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Orlando Business Majors 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They were swept in the Hot League Championship Series by the Milwaukee Flamingos .
• In Season 7 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the Delaware Corporate Shells 2-3.
• In Season 12 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They lost the Hot League Division Series to the San Francisco Boat Shoes 2-3.
• In Season 14 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Boylston Boogers 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series. They swept the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 4-0 to become Hellmouth Cup champions.
• In Season 16 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Alewife Arsonists 2-3.
• In Season 17 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series. They were swept in the Hot League Championship Series by the Orlando Business Majors .
• In Season 19 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #2 seed in the Hot League. They were swept in the Hot League Division Series by the Detroit Grape Chews .
• In Season 21 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence , 2-4.

Toroidal Cup Summary

• In Toroidal/Season 5 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They swept the Delaware Corporate Shells 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series. They were swept in the Hot League Championship Series by the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers .
• In Toroidal/Season 7 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Delaware Corporate Shells 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Tucson Butchers , 3-4.
• In Toroidal/Season 8 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series. They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Alewife Arsonists 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 9 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They swept the Detroit Grape Chews 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series. They lost the Hot League Championship Series to the Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 13 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #4 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Alewife Arsonists 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Orlando Business Majors 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Long Beach Flightless Birds , 1-4.
• In Toroidal/Season 15 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the San Francisco Boat Shoes 3-2 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners , 2-4.
• In Toroidal/Season 16 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #3 seed in the Hot League. They swept the Orlando Business Majors 3-0 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Milwaukee Flamingos 3-1 in the Hot League Championship Series. They became Toroidal Cup champions by defeating the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 4-2.
• In Toroidal/Season 21 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #1 seed in the Hot League. They defeated the Orlando Business Majors 3-1 in the Hot League Division Series. They clinched the pennant by defeating the Detroit Grape Chews 3-2 in the Hot League Championship Series. They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Elko Astronauts , 3-4.

Rainbow Cup Summary

• In Rainbow/Season 3 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #4 seed in the West League. They were knocked out in the West League Championship Series by the Albuquerque Solarpunks and the Grand Junction Conjunctions .
• In Rainbow/Season 5 the Sacramento Boot Lickers were the #4 seed in the West League. They were knocked out in the West League Championship Series by the Salt Lake Turbulence and the Phoenix Freshrolls .

Art

Logo and Branding

When the Sacramento Boot Lickers commissioned an artist to create the team logo, the team could not agree on any ideas for the logo. Whenever anyone suggested an idea, all the other Boot Lickers would chime in that it was the best idea they'd ever heard, and was a stroke of pure genius, and was sure to knock everyone's socks off. After several weeks of this, the artist quit, and the Boot Lickers, left penniless, were forced to ask the Artists Union to create a logo. The logo was created with no input from the team. They think that it's the best.

Cup Posters