Baltimore Piano Tuners

Baltimore Piano Tuners
"Cheaters Get What Cheaters Deserve!"
Team Information
Name Baltimore Piano Tuners Abbreviation BPT Primary Color #3e92cc Logo    Hometown Baltimore Emoji Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Divination
Motto
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The Baltimore Piano Tuners are a Golly team from Baltimore, Marlyand. They are the offspring of the Cancel Texas Memo and are the humiliated husk of a former team that used to be known, at one time, as the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners but are now known as the most pathetic pack of cheating losers who ever played a splort. The Baltimore Piano Tuners joined the Golly league in Toroidal/Season 21, and continued on into the Rainbow league in Rainbow/Season 1.

The Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal was a scandal that struck the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners like a bolt of lightning in Toroidal/Season 16. The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were unmasked as a pack of cheaters who weren't happy with winning championships the old-fashioned way; they had hacked the engineering division to win the Toroidal/Season 15 championship over the Boot Lickers and were attempting to beat the Boot Lickers again in Toroidal/Season 16. But, as a result of their hubris, they were not only eviscerated by the Sacramento Boot Lickers in the Toroidal/Season 16 Toroidal Cup series, they were also punished by the Cancel Texas Memo at the end of Toroidal/Season 20, which forced the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners to take on the team colors and hometown of their most hated rival, the Baltimore Texas , who were incinerated for being incapable of winning a single pennant in 44 seasons, despite countless opportunities.

Baltimore Golly fans who attend Piano Tuners games are mainly there to shower the Piano Tuners with garbage. There are no such thing as "Baltimore Piano Tuners" fans. Every Golly fan in Baltimore was raised from childhood to be a diehard Baltimore Texas fan, and to hate the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners (all part of the bitter Texas Crown rivalry), so Baltimore loves any team that is not the Piano Tuners. The Piano Tuners perform significantly better in away games thanks to the lack of garbage being thrown at them and the resulting increased visibility.

The Golly Commissioner very clearly understood these dynamics and how they would play out when they authored the Cancel Texas Memo and banished the Piano Tuners to Baltimore.

Team Character

What else can be said about the Piano Tuners, except that they are a pack of cheaters.

There is, however, one tiny glimmer of hope working in the Piano Tuners' favor, which is that they are in the same Rainbow Cup division as the Detroit Grape Chews , the only team that is an active Choke Artist (has never made it to a single championship series, ever, like, ever. Zero pennants. Zilch. Nada.)