User:Ch4zm/November 2025/Ft. Worth Piano Tuners

Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
"Tuned up!"
Team Information
Name Ft. Worth Piano Tuners Abbreviation FWPT Nickname Tuners, Cheaters Primary Color #ef6f6c Logo    Hometown Ft. Worth Stadium The Ft. Emoji 🎹 Status Canceled, rebranded as Baltimore Piano Tuners
Rivalry Crowns
Texas Crown
Favorites
Integer 8 Movie Dallas
Divination
Element Water Power Word Cheater Card 8♦
Motto
Ludum fefellimus sed mortem fallere non potuimus (We cheated the game, but we could not cheat death)
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

{{FWPTTeamOverview}}

Hellmouth Cup

History

Atonal Lattice Theory

The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners operate on a computational substrate known to Golly theorists as an "atonal lattice." In a standard cellular automata game, cells update in a perfect rhythmic cascade, where generation N becomes generation N+1 all across the grid. However, the Piano Tuners, true to their nature, have a catastrophic inability to keep this rhythm. Their cells update asynchronously, firing in random bursts like weird experimental jazz with no time signature. The typical outcome is a hilarious tangle of formations, all Piano Tuners, which spiral into chaos. This is what makde them Party Animals (more Partytime speed runs than any other team). But in some rare cases, instead of being one beat behind in each generation, their patterns are one step ahead, and they can engulf their opponents, anticipating each move, while the random shifting time signatures make the attacks impossible to defend against. When the chaos works, they are unstoppable; when it doesn't, they are Party Animals.

99 Bottles Fight Song

The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners selected the song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" as their fight song in their opening Season 1. At some point during Season 2, fans noticed that when they would sing the song during games, the Piano Tuners had a winning edge; as soon as they stopped singing the song, the Piano Tuners would start losing. The fans sprang into action and formed a traveling troupe of bards, "The Order of the Empty Bottle," who traveled with the team and maintained a vigil singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall." At each game, the Order of the Empty Bottle was there on the sidelines, like Joshua holding up his arms in battle. During the Season 2 winning streak, the strategy almost became too successful, with the singers nearly reaching the end of the song. Near bottle #7, everyone coordinated losing count, and everyone had to start over again, allowing the winning streak to continue.

Season 7 - The False Note

The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners failed attempt to clinch a Cold League pennant in Season 7 of the Hellmouth Cup is remembered less as a Cinderella story and more as a mass head-fake. A collective that had spent previous seasons dissolving into Partytime soup by Day 45 suddenly began executing high-level defensive blocks against the Tucson Butchers . To the fans and analysts, this success felt deeply uncomfortable, like watching a dog walk on its hind legs for too long. It looked like Golly, but the behavior of the patterns created strange, unsettling impressions on the subconscious. Pretty much everyone knew something fishy was going on, but no one knew exactly what it was.

The Piano Tuners' LDS win over the Butchers led to a Championship Series against the Long Beach Flightless Birds , where they attempted to assemble a complex formation early in Game 1. The result was a disaster - they just didn't have the precision needed to pull off the formation. The Flightless Birds, sensing the weakness, swarmed the Tuners in a huge flock and picked away at their soft spots until they had swept the Tuners in 3 straight games. The Tuners desperately claimed they were "experimenting with jazz improvisation," but everyone knew the truth: the imposters had been hoisted by their own petard.

Season 7 Cold League Championship Series Results Table
Long Beach Flightless Birds vs. Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Long Beach Flightless Birds	189	78.31%	41	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	2,000	f790629d-593c-4085-9ab9-39b935f34e0b
Game 2	Long Beach Flightless Birds	104	23.08%	80	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,032	8057f51f-17e6-49e8-8a0c-265759f6198e
Game 3	Long Beach Flightless Birds	96	42.71%	55	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	2,029	fd98019c-4cea-41c2-b2ed-cbfcd94aee59

For the Flightless Birds, the display of strength would plant seeds of enmity between the Birds and the Tuners, which would not take many seasons to sprout, bloom, and create noxious fruit.

Season 11 - The Snowball Effect

The Stolen Credentials

The successful Season 11 run at the Hellmouth Cup by the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners is the thing that keeps E Division auditors awake at night. The Tuners’ path to the Cup began with a grotesque 3-way tiebreaker for the Wild Card. The wild card tiebreaker only occurs when there are more teams than wild card spots - usually 2 teams and 1 wild card spot. In this case, it was 3 teams: Ft. Worth Piano Tuners , Long Beach Flightless Birds , and Jersey OSHA Violations . According to the rules, the tiebreaker win goes to the team that scored the most points over the course of the season. But the point totals for Season 11 show a terrible mistake: the Flightless Birds, finishing the season with 7,069 points, lost the tiebreaker - and the Piano Tuners, finishing the season with 6,607 points, advanced to the Division Series.

Rank	Team	League	W-L	Points Scored	Points Allowed
1	Atlanta Glitter Sharks	Hot	31-18	7,544	5,802
2	Orlando Business Majors	Hot	31-18	7,006	6,396
3	Elko Astronauts	Cold	30-19	7,513	5,850
4	Baltimore Texas	Cold	29-20	7,531	6,271
5	Seattle Sneakers	Cold	25-24	6,754	6,396
6	Long Beach Flightless Birds	Cold	24-25	7,069	7,175
7	Alewife Arsonists	Hot	24-25	6,832	6,886
8	Sacramento Boot Lickers	Hot	24-25	6,804	6,757
9	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	Cold	24-25	6,607	6,586
10	Detroit Grape Chews	Hot	24-25	6,484	6,530
11	Jersey OSHA Violations	Cold	24-25	6,309	6,676
12	Delaware Corporate Shells	Hot	23-26	6,796	6,295
13	San Francisco Boat Shoes	Hot	21-28	5,843	7,323
14	San Diego Balloon Animals	Cold	20-29	6,088	7,436
15	Tucson Butchers	Cold	20-29	5,892	7,373
16	Milwaukee Flamingos	Hot	18-31	6,487	7,807

The Long Beach Flightless Birds were understandably outraged by the flawed tiebreaker decisions, but tiebreakers were not subject to review, and the Commissioner's Office issued no statement on the matter, which left the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners free to advance to the postseason on stolen credentials.

The Tiebreaker Mistake Snowballs

As word of the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners ' stolen postseason spot spread throughout different Golly fan bases, their Season 11 postseason run continued to attract greater scrutiny and criticism. In Game 1 of the Division Series against the #1 seeded Elko Astronauts , the match went just 1,006 generations - only 6 generations more than the bare minimum mandated by the league. It was borderline unimaginable that the Party Animals could pull off such an upset against a #1 seed that no one believed the Tuners would go all the way. The Tuners established a microscopic, barely-stable tub pattern, the Astronauts were called on a technical foul before they could even launch their first spaceship, and the match was over before fans had even reached their seats. Everyone was mad - fans, team collectives, concession stands, even the Commissioner - everyone except the Piano Tuners. This only served to fuel their hubris.

When the Piano Tuners defeated the Seattle Sneakers 3 games to 1 and clinched the Cold League pennant, many people expected a repeat of the Piano Tuners' Season 7 Cup series flameout. But when the Piano Tuners snuffed out the Alewife Arsonists 4 games to 1, clinching the Hellmouth Cup for Ft. Worth, the entire league was stunned. Somehow, a middle-of-the-pack team that never should have been in the postseason to begin with had turned a bug in the tiebreaker code into an improbable run for the Cup, poking their opponents in the eye, defying the league's low expectations and low opinions of them, and humiliating the Commissioner and E Division in one fell swoop. The tiebreaker mistake that snowballed into a stolen Cup blew a hole in the notion of a benevolent Commissioner.

Season 15 - Robbing Everyone Blind

If the Season 11 Hellmouth Cup series victory by the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners was a glitch, their Season 15 Hellmouth Cup series victory was a crime scene. On their way to winning the Cup against the Delaware Corporate Shells , the Tuners robbed every one of their opponents blind, series by series, leaving a trail of furious, stunned opponents who couldn't understand how their pockets had been picked.

The Butcher Shop Heist

The Season 15 League Division Series began with the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners facing off against the Tucson Butchers , a collective known for heavy, grinding, physical play. In Game 1, the Butchers dominated the board for 95% of the simulation, battering the Tuners’ defenses into dust. But in the final generations, amidst the debris, a single Tuner glider slipped through a hole in the Butcher line that shouldn't have been there. The resulting bloom formation left the final score 107-102, in favor of the Tuners - a theft so brazen that Butchers fans reportedly checked the rulebook to see if "winning while being dismembered" was legal. The Tuners dragged the series out to the maximum five games, scraping by with wins that felt less like victories and more like accounting errors.

Season 15 Cold League Division Series Results Table
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. Tucson Butchers
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	107	4.67%	102	Tucson Butchers	1,510	832d696d-e0c1-4a72-a2cd-d586c48c028b
Game 2	Tucson Butchers	203	41.87%	118	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,313	1e98cd95-aefb-4bce-9e2c-1e500639a106
Game 3	Tucson Butchers	95	42.11%	55	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,419	a0af30cd-356f-4ed2-acea-f162f0d938c7
Game 4	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	108	26.85%	79	Tucson Butchers	1,433	8d30ed16-6940-421e-b149-b2d5822f53e2
Game 5	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	162	48.77%	83	Tucson Butchers	1,853	e0ae979a-ebe0-4f53-bec9-e3a15e8d60af

The Two Point Eye Poke

The Hellmouth Cup Season 15 LCS was a grudge match between the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners and the Long Beach Flightless Birds , who were still seething from a controversial 3-way tiebreaker loss to the Piano Tuners in Season 11. The Birds played with a cold, oscillating fury, determined to bury the "imposters" once and for all.

The series went the distance, culminating in a Game 5 that is now mandatory study material for chaos theorists. For dozens of generations, the two teams were deadlocked. In the dying moments, the Flightless Birds executed a perfect period-4 stabilization, assuming they had won. But a rogue patch of Piano Tuner "noise" attached itself to the Birds' structure, counting just enough live cells to tip the scale. The Tuners won 127-125 - a devastating two-point margin. The Flightless Birds didn't lose, they were robbed.

Season 15 Cold League Championship Series Results Table
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. Long Beach Flightless Birds
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	98	25.51%	73	Long Beach Flightless Birds	1,550	433babb0-d748-43c0-bd86-29143e4bad5b
Game 2	Long Beach Flightless Birds	221	28.51%	158	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,434	6b935f3e-0020-41f5-81d5-112803910aaf
Game 3	Long Beach Flightless Birds	222	47.75%	116	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,831	1ba4800e-d267-4a53-9952-465fc67712e7
Game 4	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	168	49.40%	85	Long Beach Flightless Birds	2,416	c63f70e6-35e0-4b04-abb4-20b07164d645
Game 5	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	127	1.57%	125	Long Beach Flightless Birds	1,630	a1a4a179-54ba-46c2-952b-3e0b95d4a423

Robbery At One-Point

The final Season 15 Hellmouth Cup series between the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners and the Delaware Corporate Shells was supposed to be an easy layup for the Shells - an efficient, ruthless, and terrifyingly wealthy collective. The Shells took an early and commanding lead, 3 games to 1, and had mapped out all of the Tuners' strategies, analyzed their noise signature, and prepared the confetti.

Then came Game 6. Facing elimination, the Tuners played nasty, like a cornered rat. The game was an ugly, sprawling mess that defied all logic. As the clock hit zero, the scoreboard flickered: 166-165. The Piano Tuners had won by one single cell. A single pixel of difference between death and Game 7.

The Shells' algorithms crashed under the extreme conditions of Game 6. That left them vulnerable in the Game 7 opening, due to their logic cores rebooting, and, not being one to pass up a shortcut to victory, the Tuners stole Game 7 while the Shells were incapacitated. Their improbable Season 15 postseason run was like a bank robbery where the thieves left the guards napping, walked in the safe, walked out the front door, and left the bank with nothing but a handful of points.

Season 15 - Hellmouth Cup Results Table
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. Delaware Corporate Shells
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Delaware Corporate Shells	195	71.28%	56	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,637	71bf2592-a5d4-49c4-a62c-9b4454dc40f2
Game 2	Delaware Corporate Shells	155	1.94%	152	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,659	ce250dc0-66b5-470c-98e8-27168b9bebca
Game 3	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	140	55.71%	62	Delaware Corporate Shells	1,162	3aa0e5d2-96f9-401c-bfd1-9c756ae1bab5
Game 4	Delaware Corporate Shells	252	71.43%	72	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	3,962	46cf7d4b-289d-4628-ae21-aeef8084b891
Game 5	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	171	46.20%	92	Delaware Corporate Shells	3,159	9438b40a-36f1-4eaf-b561-2255ce542058
Game 6	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	166	0.60%	165	Delaware Corporate Shells	1,283	1da93c7b-d378-4548-94fa-74d1d0e55fe7
Game 7	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	90	54.44%	41	Delaware Corporate Shells	1,320	3e0836f7-e232-47d0-8130-d3bca328571f

Season 17 - The Icarus Protocol

If Season 15 was a heist, Season 17 was an ascent into the sun. The Piano Tuners, drunk on their own inexplicable success, played recklessly. They were no longer just out to win it, they were looking to push the simulator to the limits of functionality, hunting for exploits that they could use to get a leg up.

Salt in the Wound

The Season 17 LDS rematch between the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners and the Long Beach Flightless Birds was less a series and more a bullying session. The Birds, still psychologically scarred from the Season 15 Two-Point Eye Poke, tried to play conservatively. The Tuners responded by intentionally mimicking the Birds' own oscillation patterns, but playing them slightly off-key. It drove the Long Beach collective insane. The 3-0 sweep was a mercy killing; the Birds spent most of the series trying to debug their own sensors rather than playing the game.

Season 17 Cold League Division Series Results Table
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. Long Beach Flightless Birds
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	251	45.02%	138	Long Beach Flightless Birds	1,542	cb7bcade-eb31-48de-b886-f4778d782163
Game 2	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	179	13.41%	155	Long Beach Flightless Birds	1,984	e15ca0c6-aa98-467c-941c-505c934d8e18
Game 3	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	142	21.13%	112	Long Beach Flightless Birds	3,858	2b2c435b-e1a5-4a36-b004-1bbc7d44cae8

The Reactor Leak Gambit

In the Cold League Championship Series, the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners faced off against the Jersey OSHA Violations . The Piano Tuners gained a quick 2 games to none lead, and saw a chance to put their foot to the gas. They executed a maneuver called the Reactor Leak Gambit - a dangerous maneuver that intentionally destabilized their own core formation, creating cascading failures that filled the grid with debris and destabilized the simulator. It was statistical suicide - even the OSHA Violations, who are famous for flagrant safety violations and insane risk taking, and whose motto is "Safety Third," were quoted afterwards as saying it was a "totally insane and reckless risk that we would never have taken." The Piano Tuners executed the maneuver perfectly, bombarded the Violations, and clawed their way back from the dead, securing a 4-point victory and a sweep. The OSHA Violations were left traumatized and wondering whether they had just lost their title of biggest risk-takers in Golly.

Season 17 Cold League Championship Series Results Table
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. Jersey OSHA Violations
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	141	64.54%	50	Jersey OSHA Violations	1,955	6039b1b0-d5d1-4be8-b45a-61b54b9e37de
Game 2	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	74	35.14%	48	Jersey OSHA Violations	1,045	dd556fc5-6d8d-425e-a687-e89f3314119a
Game 3	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	123	3.25%	119	Jersey OSHA Violations	3,036	26e3992e-7108-43d9-bc11-c472b6fb03d7

The Hostile Takeover

The Season 17 Hellmouth Cup series between the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners and the Orlando Business Majors was a clash of dissonant, musical chaos versus market-driven, mass-psychology chaos. The Business Majors, whose behavior was difficult to predict but considered ruthlessly efficient, carefully outmaneuvered the Piano Tuners to build up a 3-1 lead in the series. Just like Season 11, the Piano Tuners, facing elimination, turned nasty and fought like rats, including a narrow 8-point margin of victory in a chaotic Game 6.

In Game 7, to the massive relief of the entire league, the Business Majors implemented a formation called the Hostile Takeover, a risky and very expensive maneuver that was tailor-made for this type of end-of-the-line, Game 7 situation. They isolated the Tuners' frequencies, filtered them out, packaged them up, and sold them off. The Tuners quickly fell behind, and had no more tricks up their sleeve, no more last-minute gambits. The 177-111 victory by the Business Majors was considered a triumph for the entire league. And in some sense, it led the Piano Tuners to their downfall - the loss forced the Piano Tuners collective to consider "alternative victory techniques" by rigging random number generators in collusion with the Corporate Shells, which would set in motion the entire sordid affair of the Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal, the Cancel Texas Memo, and the Baltimore Diaspora.

Season 17 - Hellmouth Cup Results Table
Orlando Business Majors vs. Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Orlando Business Majors	144	7.64%	133	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,105	4b906527-a96c-4de4-82a0-e00fe05bf43d
Game 2	Orlando Business Majors	281	96.44%	10	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,188	2dcc8524-5445-4c96-b470-a22df05f0aca
Game 3	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	185	55.14%	83	Orlando Business Majors	1,563	c22c53b8-dd0d-4867-9590-920e21a099c4
Game 4	Orlando Business Majors	240	73.75%	63	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	3,231	fd362da4-1788-4b1d-a863-1f5daa2792a9
Game 5	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	202	35.15%	131	Orlando Business Majors	2,519	9d05420c-edf2-4d1e-97b5-691d77d0791e
Game 6	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	165	4.85%	157	Orlando Business Majors	1,575	a379aaca-6653-4224-988b-3319d8af2baa
Game 7	Orlando Business Majors	177	37.29%	111	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,613	8b1ac131-091f-4842-8250-1b0ed5302f2b

Season 19 - Controlled Burn

Stop Hitting Yourself Protocol

After losing Game 1 of the Season 19 LDS, and realizing they were out-matched and out-classed by the Long Beach Flightless Birds , the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners decided to annoy them to death to win the series. The Flightless Birds, an entity built on dignity and rhythm, were unprepared for the Tuners weaponized immaturity and were psychologically dismantled. the Tuners threw a gigantic, Texas-sized tantrum that lasted from the moment Game 2 started to the moment Game 5 ended. It was a non-stop string of childish behavior that overwhelmed the Bird and nearly pushed the simulator to a breaking point. The Tuners employed several tactics, including freezing in confusion and staring blankly at the Birds - Was there a whistle? Was there a server error? Why are they staring at us like that? - and in that split second of hesitation, the Tuners would break their own stillness with a violent, sucker-punch glider stream, sneaking formations past the Birds and racking up critical go-ahead points while the Birds were still buffering. The moves were technically legal, but entirely unsportsmanlike, and infuriatingly effective.

The Tuners also employed an echo chamber: Whenever the Flightless Birds attempted to communicate or coordinate data ("Shift left!", "Cycle up!"), the Tuners immediately rebroadcast the signal back on a slightly delayed, higher-pitched frequency: "Shift left - er, right? Shift right? Cycle up? Cycle - cycle down?" They flooded the grid with chirps - "Hey bud! Shift down? Shift up? Hot dogs? What?" - until no one could hear or understand anything in the cacophony. The Tuners also clogged the Birds' comms channels with the digital equivalent of "What? What? Huh? I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you." They picked fights after every whistle. They flopped. They whined. And somehow, it all worked.

The Piano Tuners' victory was sealed with weaponized, petty pestering. When the final horn sounded in Game 4, and the Tuners secured their 3-1 series win, there was no applause. The Flightless Birds left the grid in disgusted silence. The exhausted referees were relieved the tantrums were finally over. The Commissioner had a terrible headache and refused to take any calls for a week. Even the Piano Tuners' own fans seemed embarrassed as they shuffled out of the stadium. The Tuners had advanced to a (no-lose) Texas Crown LCS showdown against the Baltimore Texas , the infamous Cold League Choke Artists, but they arrived with zero dignity.

Season 19 Cold League Division Series Results Table
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. Long Beach Flightless Birds
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Long Beach Flightless Birds	242	72.73%	66	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,857	e71ca63a-c808-434f-af66-afe992ec4326
Game 2	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	168	75.60%	41	Long Beach Flightless Birds	1,739	4871db16-792b-4fd3-a522-b90984d07bff
Game 3	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	241	69.71%	73	Long Beach Flightless Birds	2,742	5fee7df2-0cb3-45db-92fe-67838f4adf9a
Game 4	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	193	40.41%	115	Long Beach Flightless Birds	1,188	f18706fa-31d2-4a7a-9900-c071c5c09fe0

Back in the Hole

The League Championship Series saw the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners face off against their bitter rivals, the Baltimore Texas , who by that time were well-known across the league as Choke Artists. The Texas were making their sixth attempt at a Cold League pennant, and were convinced that this time would be different.

The Texas shot out to a 2-game lead in the best-of-5 series, leaving the Piano Tuners with their backs against the wall. But the Tuners didn't waste a drop of sweat - they counted on their luck, the blessing of the universe, and the Choke Artist status of their bitter rivals to save the day for them. And much to the annoyance of every team in the league, the umpires, and the Commissioner, they won Game by simply standing around, waiting for the Baltimore Texas to get in their own way and spoil their shot at clinching the pennant. They did the same thing in Game 4, and then again in Game 5. At some point, they trotted out from the corner of the grid where they had set up with couches and a Playstation and were playing Grand Theft Auto, so that they could clinch the pennant.

The Piano Tuners celebrated awkwardly, aware they hadn't really won so much as they had been the beneficiaries of a somewhat morbid gift from the universe - schadenfreude at seeing their bitter rivals blow the ultimate lead at the door of breaking their curse, only to half-heartedly pass on a victory three straight games. But the Baltimore Texas seemed almost happy to resign themselves to the fate of losing, and who were the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners to say no?

Dallas Huston, radio announcer for the Baltimore Texas Choke Artists, signed off with his signature mix of whimsy and doom:

	Put the champagne back in the cellar, folks. Let it age another century. The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners are going to the Hellmouth Cup, and we... well, we are going back in the hole. It’s dark, it’s cold, it's the size of Texas, and it smells like ozone. But the rent is cheap. This is Dallas Huston, reminding you that maybe next year we'll break the curse.

Season 19 Cold League Championship Series Results Table
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. Baltimore Texas
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Baltimore Texas	144	65.97%	49	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,001	05218570-3a9c-4c27-ab69-95e91e5ff1e4
Game 2	Baltimore Texas	179	60.34%	71	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	3,608	a25c7bef-0394-421f-b362-a301175bacaf
Game 3	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	207	51.21%	101	Baltimore Texas	1,601	f3c34528-5a3f-4c82-b6c9-2cde45a0a742
Game 4	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	224	63.84%	81	Baltimore Texas	1,560	660a2c10-3ef0-4bd3-8635-2e2f9ccf27b9
Game 5	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	221	41.18%	130	Baltimore Texas	1,622	4fc7c488-0c58-4484-888b-0ccbe3d1a9dd

Choked in the Smoke

Fresh off the emotional high of the Texas Crown victory over the Baltimore Texas , the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners entered the Hellmouth Cup seriels with a swagger that their code couldn't support. They expected the East Coast Alewife Arsonists to be intimidated by the swaggering team that had slain the Long Beach Flightless Birds , the ultimate West Coast titans. Instead, Alewife yawned loudly, in their face. Then they tore them to pieces.

The Alewife Arsonists treated the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners = like kindling. Using a Flash Oven formation, they rapidly heated the grid, causing spontaneous combustion in the Tuners' static blocks. The entire Tuners formation went up in a flurry of pops, like popcorn kernels tossed into a flash pan. The Tuners bounced back in Game 2, with the Tuners utilizing the heaviest, wettest formations they could muster to smother the Arsonists - but it only worked for one game. The Arsonists lit a high-entropy fire in Game 3, slow-roasted the Tuners in Game 4, and starved them of oxygen in Game 5, taking home the crown and leaving the Tuners choking and coughing in the smoking remains of their season.

Season 19 - Hellmouth Cup Results Table
Alewife Arsonists vs. Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
	Winner	W Score	Margin	L Score	Loser	Generations	Link
Game 1	Alewife Arsonists	151	37.09%	95	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	2,188	cae083cc-657a-4a4e-9e30-6172fd4fa3a8
Game 2	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	118	9.32%	107	Alewife Arsonists	1,468	8eb75445-7bad-44fe-bd6c-32aa419cc027
Game 3	Alewife Arsonists	193	12.95%	168	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,806	f4c5b0c8-28e2-4b86-953f-eae685194ee1
Game 4	Alewife Arsonists	162	10.49%	145	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	2,194	d432d7a1-b84d-4bce-88d7-8b27141b01f5
Game 5	Alewife Arsonists	88	6.82%	82	Ft. Worth Piano Tuners	1,055	37dc3843-8d24-4884-97bf-08af3ca9412b

Ft. Worth in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

Summary

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron FWPT}}

• In Season 2 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Baltimore Texas 1-3.
• In Season 4 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 46.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Season 5 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 44.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Season 6 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Elko Astronauts 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Championship Series by the San Diego Balloon Animals .
• In Season 7 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Tucson Butchers 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Championship Series by the Long Beach Flightless Birds .
• In Season 8 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 45.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Season 10 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 44.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Season 11 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They swept the Elko Astronauts 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Seattle Sneakers 3-1 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Alewife Arsonists 4-1.
• In Season 12 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Baltimore Texas 1-3.
• In Season 13 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Season 14 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Baltimore Texas 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the San Diego Balloon Animals 3-1 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They were swept in the Hellmouth Cup Series by the Sacramento Boot Lickers .
• In Season 15 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Tucson Butchers 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Long Beach Flightless Birds 3-2 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They became Hellmouth Cup champions by defeating the Delaware Corporate Shells 4-3.
• In Season 16 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Phoenix Freshrolls .
• In Season 17 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They swept the Long Beach Flightless Birds 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by sweeping the Jersey OSHA Violations 3-0 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the Orlando Business Majors , 3-4.
• In Season 18 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Season 19 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Long Beach Flightless Birds 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Baltimore Texas 3-2 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Hellmouth Cup Series to the Alewife Arsonists , 1-4.
• In Season 22 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Jersey OSHA Violations 1-3.
• In Season 23 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Tucson Butchers 2-3.
• In Season 24 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence 1-3.

Toroidal Cup

Ft. Worth in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season

Chart

Summary

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron FWPT}}

• In Toroidal/Season 1 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Elko Astronauts 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 2 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Seattle Sneakers 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 4 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Baltimore Texas and the Tucson Butchers .
• In Toroidal/Season 5 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 7.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Toroidal/Season 6 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Toroidal/Season 7 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 7.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Toroidal/Season 8 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They swept the Jersey OSHA Violations 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the Tucson Butchers 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 9 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Salt Lake Turbulence .
• In Toroidal/Season 10 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 8.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Toroidal/Season 11 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Long Beach Flightless Birds 1-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 12 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Salt Lake Turbulence 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 13 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Division Series by the Long Beach Flightless Birds .
• In Toroidal/Season 14 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 7.
  • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
• In Toroidal/Season 15 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • They swept the Elko Astronauts 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Seattle Sneakers 3-1 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They became Toroidal Cup champions by defeating the Sacramento Boot Lickers 4-2.
• In Toroidal/Season 16 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • They defeated the Elko Astronauts 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series.
  • They clinched the pennant by defeating the Long Beach Flightless Birds 3-1 in the Cold League Championship Series.
  • They lost the Toroidal Cup Series to the Sacramento Boot Lickers , 2-4.
• In Toroidal/Season 17 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • They were swept in the Cold League Division Series by the Baltimore Texas .
• In Toroidal/Season 18 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • They lost the Cold League Division Series to the Seattle Sneakers 2-3.
• In Toroidal/Season 20 the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners did not reach the postseason.
  • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the Long Beach Flightless Birds and the Seattle Sneakers .