Difference between revisions of "Ft. Worth Piano Tuners"

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Main: {{CTeam|BPT}}
 
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The {{CTeam|FWPT}} are a Golly team from Ft. Worth, Texas. Despite their name, the Piano Tuners are infamous for their tone-deafness. They are completely unable to keep a tune, old a note, or keep time to even the most basic beat. The Piano Tuners are also, somehow, completely unaware of their musical inabilities.
 
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During [[Toroidal/Season 16]] the Piano Tuners became embroiled in a hacking scandal that would eventually bring down the entire franchise. An investigation revealed that the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners had partnered with the {{CTeam|DECO}} to create shell companies to sell backdoored random number generators to Golly's [[E Division]] (engineering), which enabled the Piano Tuners to manipulate the outcome of the [[Toroidal/Season 15]] season (which the Piano Tuners won over the {{CTeam|SAC}}).
 
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Tampering with the random number generators in [[Toroidal/Season 15]] led to dire consequences for [[Toroidal/Season 16]]. The biggest inadvertent (and unexplained) consequence of tampering with the random number generators was that the normally-obsequious {{CTeam|SAC}} became extremely nasty for precisely one season, ruthlessly crushing their opponents while steamrolling their way to a playoffs spot in a manner that was completely the opposite of their prior character.
 
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The [[Toroidal/Season 16]] [[Toroidal Cup]] series was a rematch between these Nasty Boot Lickers, out for revenge, and the Piano Tuners, defending champions who were completely unprepared to win without cheating (and who had lost control of the random number generator). The Piano Tuners were nearly eviscerated by the eventual champions, the {{CTeam|SAC}}.
 
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In [[Toroidal/Season 20]] the [[Commissioners Office|Commissioner's Office]] released the [[Cancel Texas Memo]], which announced the cancellation of Texas in Golly. The {{CTeam|BTX}} were incinerated, and the Piano Tuners given the ultimate humiliating fate: to take on the team colors and hometown of their bitter [[Texas Crown]] rivals, the Baltimore Texas, and become the {{CTeam|BPT}}.
 
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While not directly related to the events of the Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal, it is widely recognized that the Piano Tuners were intentionally not incinerated and relegated to the most humiliating fate possible as a result of their [[Toroidal/Season 15]] hubris.
 
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{{Infobox team
 
{{Infobox team
 
| name = Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
 
| name = Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
 
| abbr = FWPT
 
| abbr = FWPT
 
| color = ef6f6c
 
| color = ef6f6c
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| league = Cold
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| status = Canceled and rebranded as {{CTeam|BPT}}
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| division = Water
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| emoji = 🎹
 
| slogan = Tuned up!
 
| slogan = Tuned up!
 
| hometown = Ft. Worth
 
| hometown = Ft. Worth
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| celebrity_mascot = Brian Eno
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| crowns =
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| rivals = [[Baltimore Texas]] ([[Texas Crown]])
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* [[Texas Crown]] {{TeamLogo|BTX}}
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| arcana = The Lovers (VI)
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| integer = 8
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| arcana_title = Children of the Voice Divine
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| movie = Dallas
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| emoji =  
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| playing_card = 8♦
 
}}
 
}}
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''Related: {{CTeam|BPT}}''
 +
 +
The {{CTeam|FWPT}} were a Golly team from Ft. Worth, Texas. Despite their name, the Piano Tuners were infamous for their tone-deafness. They were completely unable to keep a tune, hold a note, or keep time to even the most basic beat. The Piano Tuners were also, somehow, completely unaware of their musical inabilities.
 +
 +
The franchise became famous in the [[Hellmouth Cup]] for their inconsistent performance, often finishing at the very top or very bottom of the league. They were in the Hellmouth Cup several times, tying the Astronauts for the Cold League team with the most Hellmouth Cup appearances.
 +
 +
The franchise name was tarnished in [[Toroidal/Season 16]], when the [[Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal]] broke. The scandal, which would bring down the entire franchise just four seasons later, involved a partnership with the {{CTeam|DECO}} to set up shell companies to provide backdoored random number generators to [[E Division]] and affect the outcomes of matches. The Piano Tuners were heavily censured by the Commissioner, and roundly condemned for their behavior.
 +
 +
In [[Toroidal/Season 20]] the scandal came back to haunt the Piano Tuners. Their bitterest rivals, the Baltimore Texas, were incinerated as part of the [[Cancel Texas Memo]], while the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were canceled as a result of the scandal, and were given the humiliating fate of taking on the team colors and hometown of their bitter rivals, the Baltimore Texas. The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were forced to become the {{CTeam|BPT}}.
  
 
==Team Character==
 
==Team Character==
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==Piano Tuners in the Toroidal Cup==
 
==Piano Tuners in the Toroidal Cup==
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===Hacking Scandal===
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{{Main|Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal}}
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{{PianoTunersHackingScandalFragment}}
  
 
===Cancel Texas Memo===
 
===Cancel Texas Memo===
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==Season by Season Summary==
 
==Season by Season Summary==
  
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===Hellmouth Cup Summary===
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{{SeasonBySeason FWPT}}
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* In [[Season 2]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners had an historic winning season and entered the postseason as the #1 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out by their [[Texas Crown]] rivals the {{Team|BTX|color=true}} in the Cold League Division Series.
 
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* In [[Season 4]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the first to [[Partytime]] in the Cold League on Day 48.
 
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* In [[Season 5]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the first to [[Partytime]] in the Cold League on Day 45.
 
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* In [[Season 6]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Championship Series by the {{Team|SDBA|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 7]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Championship Series by the {{Team|LBFB|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 8]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the first to [[Partytime]] on Day 45.
 
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* In [[Season 10]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the first to [[Partytime]] on Day 45, together with the {{Team|SDBA|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 11]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They won the Cold League pennant and went on to win their first-ever [[Hellmouth Cup]] championship over the {{Team|AA|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 12]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the {{Team|BTX|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 14]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They won the Cold League pennant but lost in the [[Hellmouth Cup]] series to the {{Team|SAC|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 15]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They won the Cold League pennant and went on to win the [[Hellmouth Cup]] series against the {{Team|DECO|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 17]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They won the Cold League pennant but lost in the [[Hellmouth Cup]] series to the {{Team|ORL|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 18]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the first to [[Partytime]] on Day 47, together with the {{Team|TB|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 19]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They clinched the Cold League pennant in a narrow victory over their [[Texas Crown]] rivals the {{Team|BTX|color=true}}, but lost in the [[Hellmouth Cup]] to the {{Team|AA|color=true}}.
 
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* In [[Season 22]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the {{CTeam|OSHA}}.
 
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* In [[Season 23]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the {{CTeam|SLC}}.
 
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* In [[Season 24]] the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the {{CTeam|TB}}.
 
  
 
==Team Fight Song==
 
==Team Fight Song==
  
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The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners selected the song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" as their fight song during their historic [[Season 2]] winning streak. The fan section of their home stadium began sinning the fight song during the playoffs, and to this day there are still some hungry, cold, and dedicated fans who live in the stadium and maintain round the clock vigils to finish the song. They have lost count approximately 27 times.
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The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners selected the song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" as their fight song during their historic [[Season 2]] winning streak. The fan section of their home stadium began singing the fight song during the playoffs, and to this day there are still some hungry, cold, and dedicated fans who live in the bowels of the stadium, maintaining round the clock vigils to finish the song. They have lost count approximately 27 times.
  
 
==Party Animals==
 
==Party Animals==
  
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The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners have established themselves as the Party Animals of Golly, reaching [[Stlats/Partytime|Partytime]] more often than any other team.
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The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners have established themselves as the Party Animals of Golly, reaching [[Records/Partytime|Partytime]] more often than any other team.
  
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==Logo and Art==
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==Art==
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===Poster===
  
 
The [[Artists Union]] was commissioned to make a poster for the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners after their [[Season 14]] League Division Series victory over the [[Baltimore Texas]]. Unfortunately, no one in the Artists Union was aware that no players on the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners have any musical talent whatsoever.
 
The [[Artists Union]] was commissioned to make a poster for the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners after their [[Season 14]] League Division Series victory over the [[Baltimore Texas]]. Unfortunately, no one in the Artists Union was aware that no players on the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners have any musical talent whatsoever.
  
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When the poster was unveiled to the team, most of them stood and stared at it, confused. A few asked what "sight reading" was. Fortunately no artists were present for the unveiling. It was a sordid affair all around.
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When the poster was unveiled to the team, most of them stood around and stared at it in silent confusion. A few asked what "sight reading" was.
 +
 
 +
Fortunately, no artists were present for the unveiling.
  
 
[[File:FWPT_Poster.png|500px]]
 
[[File:FWPT_Poster.png|500px]]
  
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===Season 11 Hellmouth Cup Poster===
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===Cup Posters===
  
 
[[Image:Season11_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 
[[Image:Season11_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
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===Season 14 Hellmouth Cup Poster===
 
  
 
[[Image:Season14_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 
[[Image:Season14_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
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===Season 15 Hellmouth Cup Poster===
 
  
 
[[Image:Season15_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 
[[Image:Season15_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
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===Season 17 Hellmouth Cup Poster===
 
  
 
[[Image:Season17_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 
[[Image:Season17_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
  
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===Season 19 Hellmouth Cup Poster===
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[[Image:Season19_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
  
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[[Image:Season19_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
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[[Image:ToroidalSeason15_Poster.png|500px]]
  
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[[Image:ToroidalSeason16_Poster.png|500px]]
  
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==Navboxes==
  
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{{Navbox hellmouth v teams}}
  
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{{Navbox teams}}
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{{FWPTTeamCategories}}

Latest revision as of 23:32, 5 July 2025

Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
Ft. Worth Piano Tuners logo
"Tuned up!"
Team Information
Name Ft. Worth Piano Tuners
Abbreviation FWPT
Primary Color #ef6f6c
Logo  FWPT.png 
Hometown Ft. Worth
Emoji 🎹
Status Canceled and rebranded as BPT.png Baltimore Piano Tuners
Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Integer 8
Movie Dallas
Divination
Card 8♦
Motto
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

Related: BPT.png Baltimore Piano Tuners

The FWPT.png Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were a Golly team from Ft. Worth, Texas. Despite their name, the Piano Tuners were infamous for their tone-deafness. They were completely unable to keep a tune, hold a note, or keep time to even the most basic beat. The Piano Tuners were also, somehow, completely unaware of their musical inabilities.

The franchise became famous in the Hellmouth Cup for their inconsistent performance, often finishing at the very top or very bottom of the league. They were in the Hellmouth Cup several times, tying the Astronauts for the Cold League team with the most Hellmouth Cup appearances.

The franchise name was tarnished in Toroidal/Season 16, when the Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal broke. The scandal, which would bring down the entire franchise just four seasons later, involved a partnership with the DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells to set up shell companies to provide backdoored random number generators to E Division and affect the outcomes of matches. The Piano Tuners were heavily censured by the Commissioner, and roundly condemned for their behavior.

In Toroidal/Season 20 the scandal came back to haunt the Piano Tuners. Their bitterest rivals, the Baltimore Texas, were incinerated as part of the Cancel Texas Memo, while the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were canceled as a result of the scandal, and were given the humiliating fate of taking on the team colors and hometown of their bitter rivals, the Baltimore Texas. The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were forced to become the BPT.png Baltimore Piano Tuners .

Team Character

Formation in Amateur Leagues

Prior to joining the Golly league as a professional splorts team, the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were previously known as the Dallas Piano Movers, a pick-up league of amateur Golly enthusiasts who played intramural cellular automata games on weekends. When Golly was announced, the Piano Movers formed a franchise and moved to Ft. Worth, rebranding themselves as the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners.

Piano Tuners in the Hellmouth Cup

Piano Tuners in the Toroidal Cup

Hacking Scandal

Main: Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal

The Piano Tuners Hacking Scandal is a scandal that took place during the Toroidal/Season 16 postseason. The FWPT.png Ft. Worth Piano Tuners were accused of procuring backdoored random number generators to Golly's E Division (with the help of shell companies set up by DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells ) to affect the outcome of the Toroidal/Season 15 championship (which the Tuners had won). E Division secretly patched the random number generators shortly before the Toroidal/Season 16 championship, allowing a fair fight and enabling the SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers to get a revenge reversal and win the championship.

Cancel Texas Memo

Main: Cancel Texas Memo

Season by Season Summary

Season-by-Season Summaries for FWPT.png Ft. Worth Piano Tuners .

Ft. Worth Piano Tuners in the Hellmouth Cup

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph FWPT.png

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron FWPT}}


Ft. Worth Piano Tuners in the Toroidal Cup

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph FWPT.png

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron FWPT}}


Team Fight Song

The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners selected the song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" as their fight song during their historic Season 2 winning streak. The fan section of their home stadium began singing the fight song during the playoffs, and to this day there are still some hungry, cold, and dedicated fans who live in the bowels of the stadium, maintaining round the clock vigils to finish the song. They have lost count approximately 27 times.

Party Animals

The Ft. Worth Piano Tuners have established themselves as the Party Animals of Golly, reaching Partytime more often than any other team.

Art

Poster

The Artists Union was commissioned to make a poster for the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners after their Season 14 League Division Series victory over the Baltimore Texas. Unfortunately, no one in the Artists Union was aware that no players on the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners have any musical talent whatsoever.

When the poster was unveiled to the team, most of them stood around and stared at it in silent confusion. A few asked what "sight reading" was.

Fortunately, no artists were present for the unveiling.

FWPT Poster.png

Cup Posters

Season11 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Season14 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Season15 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Season17 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Season19 HellmouthCup Poster.png

ToroidalSeason15 Poster.png

ToroidalSeason16 Poster.png

Navboxes

Hellmouth V League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth V Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth v teams   •   edit
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