Difference between revisions of "User:Ch4zm/June 2025/Alewife Arsonists"

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==History==
 
==History==
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===The Alewife Salute===
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{{AAHellmouthAlewifeSaluteFragment}}
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===The Hellmouth Hangover===
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{{AAHellmouthHangoverFragment}}
  
 
==Alewife in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season==
 
==Alewife in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season==

Revision as of 18:56, 19 July 2025

Alewife Arsonists
Alewife Arsonists logo
"Burn it down!"
Team Information
Name Alewife Arsonists
Abbreviation AA
Primary Color #ff1717
Logo  AA.png 
Hometown Alewife, Boston, MA
Stadium The Concrete Cathedral (a.k.a. Alewife Station, Red Line)
Emoji 🔥
Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Mixtape 🔥Alewife🔥Arsonists🔥
Integer 25
Movie Backdraft
Divination
Element Fire
Power Word Troublemakers
Motto
Ex finibus ignis
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

The AA.png Alewife Arsonists are a collective of commuters who hail from the Alewife Station of the Boston MTA Red Line.

The Concrete Cathedral (a.k.a. Alewife Station), home stadium of the AA.png Alewife Arsonists , is not merely a subway station; it is a massive intermodal transit hub, and celebrated masterpiece of Brutalist architecture. It is where the Red Line subway, a sprawling multi-story parking garage, and a cavernous busway all collide. It is the fabled End of the Line, the final stop on the Red Line, the place where the city's main artery frays into the suburbs and the adjacent Alewife Brook Reservation swampland.

The AA.png Alewife Arsonists draw their power from three distinct sources within Alewife Station, a commuting trinity of urban motion:

  • The Altar of Steel (Subway Platform): This is where matches are held, on the South End of Platform B. The game grid is a shimmering projection of light directly over the third rail. it draws its energy from the raw, pungent electricity powering the Red Line. The screech of an arriving train is the opening bell, while the automated "Stand clear of the closing doors" can freeze opposing teams like deer in the hedalights.
  • The Altar of Fumes (Busway): The Arsonists feed off of the commuter rage and chaotic energy of the commute. The cacophany of buses and clouds of diesel fumes fill the cavernous bus terminal. Psychic entities of the Alewife Arsonists can cause the idling buses to rev their engines in unison, sending waves of thick, vision-obscuring, pattern-disrupting diesel fumes onto the platform — a valuable home-field advantage.
  • The Altar of Rust (The Garage): The fans, as well as various unseen entities and generational spirits, plus a few ghosts, are not permitted to enter the hazardous platform area to watch matches in person. Instead, they gather in their traditional seats: the thousands of abandoned, rusted-out vehicles that haunt the dark corners of the Alewife Station parking garage, one of the largest and most confusing concrete labyrinths in the Commonwealth. There, they tune in to The Spark, a pirate radio broadcast emanating from deep within Alewife Station, and listen to the announcer, the mysterious Brake Master Cylinder, call the Alewife games in that signature gravelly voice.

The AA.png Alewife Arsonists are known for showering their opponents with chirps during games. They create a collective chorus of shouts, channeling every Townie who has ever shouted at a passing yuppie from a triple-parked sedan, every Southie who's ever shouted from the porch to keep walking, every Boston driver who's ever been cut off by someone who had to cross 4 lanes of traffic to do it, every Red Sox fan when there's a Yankee on the field. One of the Arsonists' favorite battle cries, reserved for their bitter rivals the BB.png Boylston Boogers , is "GO BACK TO WELLESLEY!"

Arsonist patterns are fueled by a mix of commuter impatience and frustration, plus an erratic aggressiveness that is prone to causing self-destructive flameouts. They don't win by being better than their opponents, they win by wearing down their opponents with noise, throwing them off guard with their erratic and aggressive play, and wearing them out until their defenses are lowered, at which point they either go for the win, or self-immolate.

Hellmouth Cup

History

The Alewife Salute

Season 8 of the Hellmouth Cup was the year it all worked for the AA.png Alewife Arsonists . The three altars were in perfect alignment. The diesel fumes from the busway were thick and nourishing, the Red Line ran on time, and Sully's '98 LeSabre was stocked with championship-grade Fluffernutters. In the final game against SS.png Seattle Sneakers , the mysterious Brake Master Cylinder fell silent for the final minute, letting the sounds of the station - the screech of wheels, the hum of the third rail - broadcast to the faithful. When the final Sneakers pattern dissolved, there was a sacred pause, and then, for the first time in history, the cacophony of a thousand dying car horns from the Altar of Rust echoed through the streets. "The Alewife Salute" became the official name for a championship celebration, a symphony of pure, unadulterated rust and rage. The Hellmouth Cup was brought to the garage, where it was filled with Narragansett Lager and used as a communal chalice.

The Hellmouth Hangover

The AA.png Alewife Arsonists loss to MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos the very next season (Season 9 of the Hellmouth Cup) is blamed on the 'Gansett Curse (a.k.a. beer allergies, a.k.a. a hangover). The Arsonists, still basking in the glow of their victory, were extremely hung over. Their patterns were sluggish and unfocused, their rage diluted by satisfaction. Everybody was wearing sunglasses and trying not to get sick at the smell of the beer-soaked Milwaukee Flamingos. The mysterious Brake Master Cylinder lamented that the team seemed to have beer allergies in addition to sun allergies. They had burned so brightly winning the Season 8 Hellmouth Cup that their grand burning torch had been reduced to a tiny pilot light. It was a brutal reminder that for the Arsonists, contentment is a poison.

Alewife in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Toroidal Cup

History

Alewife in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season

Chart

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Rainbow Cup

History

Alewife in the Rainbow Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

RainbowSeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Klein Cup

History

Alewife in the Klein Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

KleinSeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Hellmouth II Cup

History

Alewife in the Hellmouth II Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIISeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Hellmouth III Cup

History

Alewife in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Hellmouth IV Cup

History

Alewife in the Hellmouth IV Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Hellmouth V Cup

History

Alewife in the Hellmouth V Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph AA.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron AA}}


Navboxes

Hellmouth V League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth V Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth v teams   •   edit
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