Difference between revisions of "Seattle Sneakers"

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| name = Seattle Sneakers
 
| name = Seattle Sneakers
 
| abbr = SS
 
| abbr = SS
 +
| nickname = Sneaks
 +
 
| color = e86215
 
| color = e86215
 +
| secondary_color = 000000
 
| emoji = 👟
 
| emoji = 👟
−
| nickname = The Sneaks
+
 
 
| slogan = Don't Look Down
 
| slogan = Don't Look Down
−
| hometown = Seattle, WA
+
| motto = ''[[Sine metu]]''<br />(Without fear)
−
| stadium =  
+
 
−
| crowns =  
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| hometown = Seattle
 +
| stadium = The Slurve
 +
 
 +
| status = Active
 +
 
 +
| crowns =
 
* [[Highwire Crown]] {{TeamLogo|OSHA}}
 
* [[Highwire Crown]] {{TeamLogo|OSHA}}
 +
* [[Fresh Kicks Crown]] {{TeamLogo|FF}}
 
* [[Astral Projection Crown]] {{TeamLogo|MW}}
 
* [[Astral Projection Crown]] {{TeamLogo|MW}}
−
* [[Fresh Kicks Crown]] {{TeamLogo|FF}}
+
 
 +
| mixtape =
 +
| integer = 1,234
 +
| movie =
 +
 
 +
| element = Air
 
| word = Cool
 
| word = Cool
−
| element = Air
+
| playing_card = Q♦
−
| movie = Sneakers
 
−
| integer = 1234
 
−
| motto = ''Sine metu''<br />
 
−
(Without fear)
 
 
}}
 
}}
−
The {{CTeam|SS}} (The Sneaks) are a Golly team from Seattle, Washington. They joined the [[Hellmouth Cup]] in [[Season 1]].
+
{{SSTeamOverview}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
===Friendship with Jersey OSHA Violations===
 +
 
 +
{{JerseySneakersAntiRivalryFragment}}
 +
 
 +
===Conflict with San Francisco Boat Shoes===
 +
 
 +
{{HellmouthSneakersBoatShoesConflictFragment}}
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
==Promotional Posters==
 +
 
 +
[[Image:Season8_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 +
 
 +
[[Image:Season22_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 +
 
 +
=Toroidal Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason ToroidalCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
==Promotional Posters==
 +
 
 +
[[Image:ToroidalSeason2_Poster.png|500px]]
 +
 
 +
[[Image:ToroidalSeason20_Poster.png|500px]]
  
−
The Sneakers' major arcana is '''The High Priestess'''; they have a deep spiritual connection to the Underworld and frequently pass between the Realm of the Living and the Realm of the Dead.
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=Rainbow Cup=
  
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The Sneakers are known for being fearless in the face of danger, courageous when all others lose heart, and never willing to hear what the odds are.
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==History==
  
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==Team Character==
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==Seattle in the Rainbow Cup Season by Season==
  
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===Love of Heights===
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===Performance Chart===
  
−
{{SneakersLoveHeightsFragment}}
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[[File:RainbowSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
  
−
===Friendship with Jersey OSHA Violations===
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===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason RainbowCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Klein Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Klein Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:KleinSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason KleinCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth II Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth II Cup==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthIISeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIICup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth III Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
  
−
{{JerseySneakersAntiRivalryFragment}}
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===Summary===
  
−
==Sneakers in the Hellmouth Cup==
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{{Tl|HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
  
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===Feud with San Francisco Boat Shoes===
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{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIIICup SS}}
  
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During [[Season 8]] the {{CTeam|SFBS}}, who were eliminated from the postseason, made several social media posts that tagged the Seattle Sneakers or alluded to them.
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=Hellmouth IV Cup=
  
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The {{CTeam|SFBS}} and Sneakers did not normally interact, since they were in the Hot and Cold Leagues, respectively. The Sneakers claimed to have never heard of the "Boat Shoes," and proceeded to mock footwear designed specifically for sailboat owners as out-of-touch.
+
==History==
  
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===Boat Shoes Trademark Attempts===
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==Seattle in the Hellmouth IV Cup==
  
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The {{CTeam|SFBS}} continued efforts to interact with the Sneakers via social media, and were subsequently blocked.
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===Performance Chart===
  
−
The Boat Shoes began to attempt to get attention through legal avenues. They started by trademarking the "Fresh Footwear Crown" as part of a merchandising effort, and sent a team of lawyers to Seattle to negotiate a cut of profits with the Sneakers. The lawyers were unable to find the main offices of the Sneakers using the intentionally incorrect directions provided by the Sneakers, and the deal fell through.
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[[File:HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
  
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The Boat Shoes then attempted to trademark the "Fresh Kicks Crown" as part of another merchandising effort. The Boat Shoes sent a bounty hunter instead of a team of lawyers the second time around.
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===Summary===
  
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Realizing they were out of their depth, the Seattle Sneakers reached out to the {{CTeam|OSHA}} for legal help. The OSHA Violations were no friends of the Boat Shoes after the events of the [[Season 3/Fixing Scandal|Season 3 Fixing Scandal]]). With help from the OSHA Violations, the Sneakers were able to successfully challenge the "Fresh Kicks Crown" trademark claims of the Boat Shoes in court.
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{{Tl|HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
  
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===Fresh Kicks Crown===
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{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIVCup SS}}
  
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{{Main|Fresh Kicks Crown}}
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=Hellmouth V Cup=
  
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The Sneakers, playing it cool, spent the entire [[Hellmouth Cup]] denying the existence of the {{CTeam|SFBS}}, while the Boat Shoes, desperate for the attention of the Sneakers, repeatedly declared they would do everything in their power to meet the Sneakers in the [[Hellmouth Cup]] series.
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==History==
  
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===Intern Rekindles Boat Shoes Feud===
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==Seattle in the Hellmouth V Cup==
  
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In [[Season 11]] a social media intern for the Seattle Sneakers posted from a team account that "boat shoes are stupid" and "who needs special shoes just to walk on a boat? lol"
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===Performance Chart===
  
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The post gathered intense interest and had several hundred thousand likes within 24 hours. The social media intern was rapidly promoted to Assistant General Manager of the Seattle Sneakers.
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[[File:HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
  
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===Fresh Kicks Crown Revived===
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===Summary===
  
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In [[Season 16]] the {{CTeam|FF}} joined the Golly league as an expansion team. The Seattle Sneakers posted on social media that they thought the Freshrolls toilet paper logo was "fresh" and the post received several hundred thousand likes within 24 hours.
+
{{Tl|HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
  
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The Sneakers and Freshrolls entered into an anti-rivalry, which the Sneakers suggested they call the "Fresh Kicks Crown". The Freshrolls eagerly agreed, and the entire anti-rivalry was already well-established by the time the Boat Shoes heard about it. The Boat Shoes were incensed, and complained loudly on social media in the hopes the Sneakers would see it, but the Sneakers never saw it because they had blocked the Boat Shoes a long time ago.
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{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthVCup SS}}
  
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==Season by Season Summary==
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=Hellmouth VI Cup=
  
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{{SeasonBySeason SS}}
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==History==
  
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==Art==
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==Seattle in the Hellmouth VI Cup==
  
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===Logos===
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===Performance Chart===
  
−
Seattle Sneakers team logo:
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[[File:HellmouthVISeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
  
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[[Image:SeattleSneakers_Logo.png|500px]]
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===Summary===
  
−
===Cup Posters===
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{{Tl|HellmouthVIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
  
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[[Image:Season8_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
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{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthVICup SS}}
  
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[[Image:Season22_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
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=Art=
  
−
[[Image:ToroidalSeason2_Poster.png|500px]]
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==Logos==
  
−
[[Image:ToroidalSeason20_Poster.png|500px]]
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[[Image:SeattleSneakers_Logo.png|500px]]
  
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==Navboxes==
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=Navboxes=
  
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{{Navbox hellmouth v teams}}
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{{Navbox hellmouth vi teams}}
  
 
{{SSTeamCategories}}
 
{{SSTeamCategories}}

Latest revision as of 01:58, 1 November 2025

Seattle Sneakers
Seattle Sneakers logo
"Don't Look Down"
Team Information
Name Seattle Sneakers
Abbreviation SS
Nickname Sneaks
Primary Color #e86215
Secondary Color #000000
Logo  SS.png 
Hometown Seattle
Stadium The Slurve
Emoji 👟
Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Integer 1,234
Divination
Element Air
Power Word Cool
Card Q♦
Motto
Sine metu
(Without fear)
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

The SS.png Seattle Sneakers (The Sneaks) are a Golly team from Seattle, Washington. They joined the Hellmouth Cup in Season 1.

The Sneakers' major arcana is The High Priestess; they have a deep spiritual connection to the Underworld and frequently pass between the Realm of the Living and the Realm of the Dead.

The Sneakers are known for being fearless in the face of danger, courageous when all others lose heart, and never willing to hear what the odds are.

The SS.png Seattle Sneakers live out their motto, "Don't Look Down," in daily life. Many Sneakers players are world-class amateur upside-down tightrope walkers and no-plane skydivers, zero-g weightlifters and long-distance sensory deprivation runners. Several team members hold competitive eating world records.

Hellmouth Cup

History

Friendship with Jersey OSHA Violations

The SS.png Seattle Sneakers and OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations initially bonded during the Hellmouth Cup through their mutual interest in legal action against the SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes . The two teams became fast friends, soon discovering they also share a hobby of pushing the limits of what is possible for the human body to endure, both physically and psychologically. They established an official anti-rivalry, dubbed the Highwire Crown.

Players from the OSHA Violations and Seattle Sneakers routinely go on team outings to participate in such extreme splorts as:

  • base jumping without a parachute
  • skydiving without a plane
  • upside-down tightrope walking
  • jump-off-a-cliff-and-dive-or-maybe-die
  • fire-breathing
  • tire-eating
  • burning-tire-fire-eating
  • taco sword-swallowing

Members of the OSHA Violations legal team are avid sneakerheads, and will get hot tips from the Seattle Sneakers when exclusive sneaker releases drop; in exchange, the OSHA Violations legal team provides free legal consults for the Sneakers.

Conflict with San Francisco Boat Shoes

The SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes made several desperate attempts to bring themselves to the attention of the SS.png Seattle Sneakers during the Hellmouth Cup, beginning with attempted social media interactions (they were blocked), then through legal avenues (attempting to trademark various Seattle Sneaker related merchandise and slogans).

One of the things the Boat Shoes attempted to trademark was a "Fresh Kicks Crown" that would be a possible rivalry between the two teams. Instead, the Sneakers decided to use the name for their rivalry with the FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls when the Freshrolls joined the league in Season 16.

The Seattle Sneakers go9t legal help from the OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations , who were no friends of the SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes . This further cemented their friendship. With help from the OSHA Violations, the Sneakers were able to successfully challenge the "Fresh Kicks Crown" trademark claims of the Boat Shoes in court. By Season 24, the Boat Shoes had decided to give up on the Sneakers and move on.

Seattle in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}

  • In Season 1 the Seattle Sneakers were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 3 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the TB.png Tucson Butchers .
  • In Season 4 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 7 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 8 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 9 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 46.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 10 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the BTX.png Baltimore Texas .
  • In Season 11 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 12 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 13 the Seattle Sneakers were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 15 the Seattle Sneakers were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 16 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 45.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 18 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the BTX.png Baltimore Texas .
  • In Season 20 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 47.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 21 the Seattle Sneakers were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 22 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.


Promotional Posters

Season8 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Season22 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Toroidal Cup

History

Seattle in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season

Chart

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Promotional Posters

ToroidalSeason2 Poster.png

ToroidalSeason20 Poster.png

Rainbow Cup

History

Seattle in the Rainbow Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

RainbowSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Klein Cup

History

Seattle in the Klein Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

KleinSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth II Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth II Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIISeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth III Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth IV Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth IV Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth V Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth V Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth VI Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth VI Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVISeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Art

Logos

SeattleSneakers Logo.png

Navboxes

Hellmouth VI League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth VI Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth vi teams   •   edit
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