Jersey OSHA Violations

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Revision as of 05:43, 27 February 2021 by Ch4zm (talk | contribs) (→‎Legal Team)

The Jersey OSHA Violations are a Golly team from New Jersey. The OSHA Violations are most famous for their lack of postseason success, earning the nickname The Chicago Cubs and/or Bears of Golly after becoming the last Golly team to reach their first postseason, in Season 5.


Jersey OSHA Violations
Jersey OSHA Violations logo
"Safety third!"
Team Information
Name Jersey OSHA Violations
Abbreviation OSHA
Primary Color #53917e
Logo  OSHA.png 
Hometown Jersey
Emoji
Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Divination
Motto
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

History

The Jersey OSHA Violations are a Golly team that has been in the league since the inaugural Season 1.

The OSHA Violations are most famous for their lack of postseason success and are nicknamed (not affectionately) the Chicago Cubs and/or Bears of Golly. They were the last Golly team to reach their first postseason (Season 5), and they have never made it further than the League Division Series.

Brief season-by-season summary:

  • In Season 1 the Jersey OSHA Violations finished last in the Cold Water division and did not make the playoffs.
  • In Season 2 the Jersey OSHA Violations did not make the playoffs.
  • In Season 3 the Jersey OSHA Violations did not make the playoffs. They were the first Cold League team to reach Partytime on Day 48.
  • In Season 4 the Jersey OSHA Violations did not make the playoffs.
  • In Season 5 the Jersey OSHA Violations were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the eventual Hellmouth Cup champions, the Elko Astronauts.
  • In Season 6 the Jersey OSHA Violations did not make the playoffs.
  • In Season 7 the Jersey OSHA Violations did not make the playoffs.
  • In Season 8 the Jersey OSHA Violations were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the Seattle Sneakers.
  • In Season 9 the Jersey OSHA Violations were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the Tucson Butchers.
  • In Season 10 the Jersey OSHA Violations did not make the playoffs.
  • In Season 11 the Jersey OSHA Violations did not make the playoffs.

Legal Team

While it is not their principal claim to fame, the Jersey OSHA Violations have a world-class legal team of experienced and credentialed lawyers. Accidental Dismemberment, a famous Hellmouth trial lawyer, is team counsel for the Jersey OSHA Violations.

During the Season 3 Fixing Scandal, the Jersey OSHA Violations Legal Team did pro bono work representing the Golly Players Union in their bid for the right to retire.

The events of the Season 3 Fixing Scandal and subsequent drought of postseason appearances have led some fans to speculate that the Jersey OSHA Violations have had a hex placed on their database entries by the Golly Legal Office in retaliation for the Jersey OSHA Violations Legal Team's pro bono work. However, most fans will readily acknowledge that the most likely reason the Jersey OSHA Violations have not made it further into the postseason is because they kind of suck.

Friendship with Seattle Sneakers

The Seattle Sneakers and Jersey OSHA Violations initially connected through their mutual interest in legal action against the San Francisco Boat Shoes. The two teams became fast friends, bonding over their shared hobby of pushing the limits of what is possible for the human body to endure, both physically and psychologically.

Players from the OSHA Violations and Seattle Sneakers routinely go on team outings to participate in such extreme splorts as base jumping without a parachute, skydiving without a plane, upside-down tightrope walking, jump-off-a-cliff-and-dive-or-maybe-die, fire-breating, and taco sword-swallowing.




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