Delaware Corporate Shells

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Delaware Corporate Shells
Delaware Corporate Shells logo
"By comprehending the contents of this slogan the Viewer agrees to indemnify, hold harmless, and defend unto death the Delaware Corporate Shells from and against any loss, damage, claims, or lawsuits, including attorneys' fees, arising or resulting from use or distribution of its existence. Violators will be prosecuted."
Team Information
Name Delaware Corporate Shells
Abbreviation DECO
Nickname The Shells
Primary Color #e7a0e8
Secondary Color #ffffff
Logo  DECO.png 
Hometown Wilmington, Delaware
Stadium The Lux
Emoji 💸
Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Integer 1,000,000
Movie American Psycho
Divination
Element Earth
Power Word Sketchy
Card 10♠
Motto
Ubi pecunia ibi patria
(Where there is money, there is my country)
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

The DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells (formerly known as the DECOOLD.png Delaware Corporate Shells ) are a Golly team from the state of Delaware.

The origin of the team traces back to an accounting error at a bank: an anonymous customer who was supposed to receive a $200 refund actually received a $1.7 trillion refund. The bank immediately went out of business and could not hire enough lawyers to get the money back. The anonymous individual decided to use their windfall to bankroll an entire cellular automata splorts team, resulting in the creation of the Delaware Corporate Shells.

Hellmouth Cup

History

Robbery At One-Point

The final Season 15 Hellmouth Cup series between the FWPT.png Ft. Worth Piano Tuners and the DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells was supposed to be an easy layup for the Shells - an efficient, ruthless, and terrifyingly wealthy collective. The Shells took an early and commanding lead, 3 games to 1, and had mapped out all of the Tuners' strategies, analyzed their noise signature, and prepared the confetti.

Then came Game 6. Facing elimination, the Tuners played nasty, like a cornered rat. The game was an ugly, sprawling mess that defied all logic. As the clock hit zero, the scoreboard flickered: 166-165. The Piano Tuners had won by one single cell. A single pixel of difference between death and Game 7.

The Shells' algorithms crashed under the extreme conditions of Game 6. That left them vulnerable in the Game 7 opening, due to their logic cores rebooting, and, not being one to pass up a shortcut to victory, the Tuners stole Game 7 while the Shells were incapacitated. Their improbable Season 15 postseason run was like a bank robbery where the thieves left the guards napping, walked in the safe, walked out the front door, and left the bank with nothing but a handful of points.

Season 15 - Hellmouth Cup Results Table
FWPT.png Ft. Worth Piano Tuners vs. DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

  Winner W Score Margin L Score Loser Generations Link
Game 1 Delaware Corporate Shells 195 71.28% 56 Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 1,637 GollyLogoTransparent.png 71bf2592-a5d4-49c4-a62c-9b4454dc40f2
Game 2 Delaware Corporate Shells 155 1.94% 152 Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 1,659 GollyLogoTransparent.png ce250dc0-66b5-470c-98e8-27168b9bebca
Game 3 Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 140 55.71% 62 Delaware Corporate Shells 1,162 GollyLogoTransparent.png 3aa0e5d2-96f9-401c-bfd1-9c756ae1bab5
Game 4 Delaware Corporate Shells 252 71.43% 72 Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 3,962 GollyLogoTransparent.png 46cf7d4b-289d-4628-ae21-aeef8084b891
Game 5 Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 171 46.20% 92 Delaware Corporate Shells 3,159 GollyLogoTransparent.png 9438b40a-36f1-4eaf-b561-2255ce542058
Game 6 Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 166 0.60% 165 Delaware Corporate Shells 1,283 GollyLogoTransparent.png 1da93c7b-d378-4548-94fa-74d1d0e55fe7
Game 7 Ft. Worth Piano Tuners 90 54.44% 41 Delaware Corporate Shells 1,320 GollyLogoTransparent.png 3e0836f7-e232-47d0-8130-d3bca328571f

Delaware in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}

  • In Season 1 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • In Season 2 the Delaware Corporate Shells did not reach the postseason.
  • In Season 3 the Delaware Corporate Shells did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Hot League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 44.
    • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
  • In Season 7 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • In Season 8 the Delaware Corporate Shells did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Hot League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 41.
    • They finished in last place in the Hot League.
  • In Season 10 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • In Season 15 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #2 seed in the Hot League.
  • In Season 16 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • In Season 19 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #1 seed in the Hot League.
  • In Season 23 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #3 seed in the Hot League.
  • In Season 24 the Delaware Corporate Shells were the #4 seed in the Hot League.


Toroidal Cup

History

The Delawarehouse Fire

The Toroidal/Season 1 postseason began well for the AA.png Alewife Arsonists , who savored a moment of sweet revenge against the SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes in the Division series, burning through the coastal fog that had left them clouded and confused in the Hellmouth Cup. But they were halted in their quest for a pennant by the DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells .

The Shells and Arsonists became locked in what the mysterious Brake Master Cylinder called "a cosmic staredown" - the Arsonists deployed formations that formed an impenetrable firewall, while the Shells patterns formed equally impenetrable legal boilerplate. But in a true moment of self-destruction, the Alewife firewall collapsed on a technicality, and the Arsonists were eliminated in the Toroidal/Season 1 Hot League LCS.

The bitter and unexpected end to the series led the Arsonists to declare a formal rivalry, the Delawarehousefire Crown, with the Shells to resolve the unfinished business.

Texas Murder Coalition

In Toroidal/Season 20, there was some buzz around the league about the possibility of the Commissioner announcing a new Choke Artist: the SS.png Seattle Sneakers . The Curse of the Ancient Mariner had cemented itself into their lore, and the Sneakers, thirsty for a Cup series victory, knew this could be their final do-or-die opportunity. The Sneakers delivered, sweeping the FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls in the first round, sweeping the EA.png Elko Astronauts in the second round, and shutting down the ORL.png Orlando Business Majors in 5 efficient games.

In the final moments after the Sneakers were celebrating their victory, the Commissioner had appear to them from the static, like an apparition, and presented the Sneakers with a choice: Cake or Death? The Sneakers shouted "Cake!" - and the Commissioner disappeared just as quickly as they had appeared. Later, the Sneakers learned that the BTX.png Baltimore Texas had been presented with the remaining option, Or Death, and was subsequently incinerated as part of the Cancel Texas Memo.

After all of these events had taken place, and documented, and discussed, and digested, everyone in the league began to afford a certain level of respect to teams who had been involved in the incineration of the Texas. This informal ranking was later studied and formalized by Goober Boylston in a "Boylston on Boylston Violence" column. The ranking was dubbed the Texas Murder Coalition, and consists of teams who participated in the postseason bracket of Toroidal/Season 20, directly or indirectly, and who as a consequence led to the Seattle Sneakers winning the Toroidal Cup, being presented with the choice of Cake or Death, and leaving the Baltimore Texas to their fate of Or Death.

The list, in order of culpability/veneration:

  1. SS.png Seattle Sneakers
  2. ORL.png Orlando Business Majors
  3. EA.png Elko Astronauts
  4. DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

  1. FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls
  2. LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds
  3. BB.png Boylston Boogers
  4. ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks
  5. OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Delaware in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season

Chart

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Rainbow Cup

History

Delaware in the Rainbow Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

RainbowSeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Klein Cup

History

Delaware in the Klein Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

KleinSeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Hellmouth II Cup

History

Delaware in the Hellmouth II Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIISeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Hellmouth III Cup

History

Delaware in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Hellmouth IV Cup

History

Delaware in the Hellmouth IV Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Hellmouth V Cup

History

Delaware in the Hellmouth V Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Hellmouth VI Cup

History

Delaware in the Hellmouth VI Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVISeasonsQuantileGraph DECO.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron DECO}}


Art

Corporate Headquarters

As with most shell companies, the buck has to stop at an office building in Delaware, and the Corporate Shells are no different in this regard. The following promotional poster features an rendering of the DECO corporate headquarters. However, the corporate headquarters are in fact a hologram. The actual headquarters are located in the basement of the adjacent parking garage structure, with the roof of the parking garage housing the hologram projector. Since fictitious company fronts do not arouse the least amount of suspicion in the state of Delaware, the hologram of the corporate headquarters has never been questioned.

Deco Headquarters.png

Navboxes

Hellmouth VI League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth VI Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth vi teams   •   edit
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