Seattle Sneakers

The Seattle Sneakers are a Golly team from Seattle, Washington. Their major arcana is The High Priestess, referencing an inextricable link the team has with the Underworld and the Gateway to the Land of the Dead.

Seattle Sneakers
"Don't Look Down"
Team Information
Name Seattle Sneakers Abbreviation SS Primary Color #e86215 Logo    Hometown Seattle Emoji Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
None
Favorites
Divination
Motto
Template:Infobox team   •   edit

History

The Seattle Sneakers have been in the Golly league since Season 1.

A brief season-by-season summary of the Seattle Sneakers:

• In Season 1 the Seattle Sneakers were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the Long Beach Flightless Birds.
• In Season 2 the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
• In Season 3 the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
• In Season 4 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the Baltimore Texas.
• In Season 5 the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
• In Season 6 the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
• In Season 7 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners.
• In Season 8 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They won the Cold League Pennant, but lost in the Hellmouth Cup to the Alewife Arsonists.
• In Season 9 the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
• In Season 10 the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
• In Season 11 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League, but lost to the Ft. Worth Piano Tuners in the Cold League Championship Series.
• In Season 12 the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.

Love of Heights

The Seattle Sneakers live out their motto, "Don't Look Down," in their daily life. Many Seattle Sneakers players are world-class amateur extreme splorts enthusiasts in such splorts as such as upside-down tightrope walking or no-plane skydiving. Other players on the Sneakers engage in various forms of strength-building splorts, such as zero-g weightlifting, or psychological endurance splorts, such as long-distance sensory deprivation running. More than a few Seattle Sneakers players hold world titles in various competitive eating splorts.

Friendship with Jersey OSHA Violations

The Seattle Sneakers have developed a friendly relationship with the Jersey OSHA Violations, whose legal team are avid sneakerheads. The Sneakers feed the OSHA Violations Legal Team hot tips on new sneakers that are dropping, and in exchange receive free legal consults and the backing of the best legal team in Golly.

Prior to their friendship with the OSHA Violations the chief source of legal advice was asking friends who were in law school.

Bonding with OSHA Violations over Extreme Splorts Hobbies

The Jersey OSHA Violations, no strangers to pushing the limits of human endurance or finding themselves in situations involving extreme hazards completely outside the realm of normal human experience, bonded with the Seattle Sneakers over their shared love of extreme splorts and pushing the limits. Players from the Sneakers and OSHA Violations can routinely be found upside-down tightrope walking over Naiagra Falls or attempting to remove components from aircraft engines mid-flight.

Non-Recognition of San Francisco Boat Shoes

During Season 8 the San Francisco Boat Shoes, who were eliminated from the postseason, made a number of social media posts tagging and alluding to the Seattle Sneakers.

In response, the Seattle Sneakers, a Cold League team, claimed to have never heard of the San Francisco Boat Shoes, and insisted that any footwear-based Golly teams were ripping off the unique Seattle Sneakers splorts brand.

The San Francisco Boat Shoes attempted to trademark the "Footwear Crown" as part of their merchandising efforts (a primary source of revenue for the team). The Seattle Sneakers reached out to the Jersey OSHA Violations for legal help (no friends of the Boat Shoes after the events of the Season 3 Fixing Scandal). With help from the OSHA Violations, The Sneakers were able to successfully challenge the trademark claims of the Boat Shoes in court.

The Sneakers continue to deny the existence of a "Boat Shoes" Golly team, while the Boat Shoes have declared that they will do everything in their power to find a way to meet the Seattle Sneakers in the Hellmouth Cup.

In Season 11 a social media intern posted from a Sneakers team account that "Boat Shoes are stupid" and "Who would want to wear shoes like this anyway?" The post received intense interest and had gathered several hundred thousand likes within 24 hours. The social media intern was later promoted to Assistant General Manager of the Seattle Sneakers.

Template:Navbox teams (edit)