Difference between revisions of "Seattle Sneakers"

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The '''Seattle Sneakers''' are a Golly team from Seattle, Washington. Their major arcana is '''The High Priestess''', referencing an inextricable link the team has with the Underworld and the Gateway to the Land of the Dead.
 
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{{Infobox team
 
{{Infobox team
 
| name = Seattle Sneakers
 
| name = Seattle Sneakers
 
| abbr = SS
 
| abbr = SS
 +
| nickname = Sneaks
 +
 
| color = e86215
 
| color = e86215
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| league = Cold
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| secondary_color = 000000
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| division = Fire
+
| emoji = 👟
 +
 
 
| slogan = Don't Look Down
 
| slogan = Don't Look Down
 +
| motto = ''[[Sine metu]]''<br />(Without fear)
 +
 
| hometown = Seattle
 
| hometown = Seattle
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| celebrity_mascot = Bill Murray
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| stadium = The Slurve
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| stadium =  
+
 
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| rivals =  
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| status = Active
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| antirivals = [[Jersey OSHA Violations]]
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| arcana = The High Priestess (II)
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| crowns =
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| arcana_title = The Priestess of the Silver Star
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* [[Highwire Crown]] {{TeamLogo|OSHA}}
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| emoji =  
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* [[Fresh Kicks Crown]] {{TeamLogo|FF}}
 +
* [[Astral Projection Crown]] {{TeamLogo|MW}}
 +
 
 +
| mixtape =
 +
| integer = 1,234
 +
| movie =
 +
 
 +
| element = Air
 +
| word = Cool
 +
| playing_card = Q♦
 
}}
 
}}
 +
{{SSTeamOverview}}
 +
 +
=Hellmouth Cup=
  
 
==History==
 
==History==
  
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The Seattle Sneakers have been in the Golly league since [[Season 1]].
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===Friendship with Jersey OSHA Violations===
 +
 
 +
{{JerseySneakersAntiRivalryFragment}}
 +
 
 +
===Conflict with San Francisco Boat Shoes===
 +
 
 +
{{HellmouthSneakersBoatShoesConflictFragment}}
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
  
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A brief season-by-season summary of the Seattle Sneakers:
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===Summary===
  
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* In [[Season 1]] the Seattle Sneakers were the #4 seed in the [[Leagues|Cold  League]]. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the [[Long Beach Flightless Birds]].
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{{Tl|HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
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* In [[Season 2]] the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
 
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* In [[Season 3]] the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
 
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* In [[Season 4]] the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the [[Baltimore Texas]].
 
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* In [[Season 5]] the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
 
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* In [[Season 6]] the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
 
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* In [[Season 7]] the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They were knocked out in the Cold League Division Series by the [[Ft. Worth Piano Tuners]].
 
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* In [[Season 8]] the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They won the Cold League Pennant, but lost in the [[Hellmouth Cup]] to the [[Alewife Arsonists]].
 
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* In [[Season 9]] the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
 
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* In [[Season 10]] the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
 
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* In [[Season 11]] the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League, but lost to the [[Ft. Worth Piano Tuners]] in the Cold League Championship Series.
 
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* In [[Season 12]] the Seattle Sneakers did not make the playoffs.
 
  
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==Love of Heights==
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{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthCup SS}}
  
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The Seattle Sneakers live out their motto, "Don't Look Down," in their daily life. Many Seattle Sneakers players are world-class amateur extreme splorts enthusiasts in such splorts as such as upside-down tightrope walking or no-plane skydiving. Other players on the Sneakers engage in various forms of strength-building splorts, such as zero-g weightlifting, or psychological endurance splorts, such as long-distance sensory deprivation running. More than a few Seattle Sneakers players hold world titles in various competitive eating splorts.
+
==Promotional Posters==
  
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==Friendship with Jersey OSHA Violations==
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[[Image:Season8_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 +
 
 +
[[Image:Season22_HellmouthCup_Poster.png|500px]]
 +
 
 +
=Toroidal Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason ToroidalCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
==Promotional Posters==
 +
 
 +
[[Image:ToroidalSeason2_Poster.png|500px]]
 +
 
 +
[[Image:ToroidalSeason20_Poster.png|500px]]
 +
 
 +
=Rainbow Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Rainbow Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:RainbowSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason RainbowCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Klein Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Klein Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:KleinSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason KleinCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth II Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth II Cup==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthIISeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIICup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth III Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIIICup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth IV Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth IV Cup==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIVCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth V Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Seattle in the Hellmouth V Cup==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthVCup SS}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth VI Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
  
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The Seattle Sneakers have developed a friendly relationship with the [[Jersey OSHA Violations]], whose legal team are avid sneakerheads. The Sneakers feed the OSHA Violations Legal Team hot tips on new sneakers that are dropping, and in exchange receive free legal consults and the backing of the best legal team in Golly.
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==Seattle in the Hellmouth VI Cup==
  
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Prior to their friendship with the OSHA Violations the chief source of legal advice was asking friends who were in law school.
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===Performance Chart===
  
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===Bonding with OSHA Violations over Extreme Splorts Hobbies===
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[[File:HellmouthVISeasonsQuantileGraph_SS.png|800px]]
  
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The [[Jersey OSHA Violations]], no strangers to pushing the limits of human endurance or finding themselves in situations involving extreme hazards completely outside the realm of normal human experience, bonded with the Seattle Sneakers over their shared love of extreme splorts and pushing the limits. Players from the Sneakers and OSHA Violations can routinely be found upside-down tightrope walking over Naiagra Falls or attempting to remove components from aircraft engines mid-flight.
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===Summary===
  
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==Non-Recognition of San Francisco Boat Shoes==
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{{Tl|HellmouthVIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}
  
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During [[Season 8]] the [[San Francisco Boat Shoes]], who were eliminated from the postseason, made a number of social media posts tagging and alluding to the Seattle Sneakers.
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{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthVICup SS}}
  
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In response, the Seattle Sneakers, a Cold League team, claimed to have never heard of the San Francisco Boat Shoes, and insisted that any footwear-based Golly teams were ripping off the unique Seattle Sneakers splorts brand.
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=Art=
  
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The San Francisco Boat Shoes attempted to trademark the "Footwear Crown" as part of their merchandising efforts (a primary source of revenue for the team). The Seattle Sneakers reached out to the [[Jersey OSHA Violations]] for legal help (no friends of the Boat Shoes after the events of the [[Season 3/Fixing Scandal|Season 3 Fixing Scandal]]). With help from the OSHA Violations, The Sneakers were able to successfully challenge the trademark claims of the Boat Shoes in court.
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==Logos==
  
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The Sneakers continue to deny the existence of a "Boat Shoes" Golly team, while the Boat Shoes have declared that they will do everything in their power to find a way to meet the Seattle Sneakers in the [[Hellmouth Cup]].
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[[Image:SeattleSneakers_Logo.png|500px]]
  
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In [[Season 11]] a social media intern posted from a Sneakers team account that "Boat Shoes are stupid" and "Who would want to wear shoes like this anyway?" The post received intense interest and had gathered several hundred thousand likes within 24 hours. The social media intern was later promoted to Assistant General Manager of the Seattle Sneakers.
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=Navboxes=
  
 +
{{Navbox hellmouth vi teams}}
  
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{{Navbox teams}}
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{{SSTeamCategories}}

Latest revision as of 01:58, 1 November 2025

Seattle Sneakers
Seattle Sneakers logo
"Don't Look Down"
Team Information
Name Seattle Sneakers
Abbreviation SS
Nickname Sneaks
Primary Color #e86215
Secondary Color #000000
Logo  SS.png 
Hometown Seattle
Stadium The Slurve
Emoji 👟
Status Active
Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Integer 1,234
Divination
Element Air
Power Word Cool
Card Q♦
Motto
Sine metu
(Without fear)
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

The SS.png Seattle Sneakers (The Sneaks) are a Golly team from Seattle, Washington. They joined the Hellmouth Cup in Season 1.

The Sneakers' major arcana is The High Priestess; they have a deep spiritual connection to the Underworld and frequently pass between the Realm of the Living and the Realm of the Dead.

The Sneakers are known for being fearless in the face of danger, courageous when all others lose heart, and never willing to hear what the odds are.

The SS.png Seattle Sneakers live out their motto, "Don't Look Down," in daily life. Many Sneakers players are world-class amateur upside-down tightrope walkers and no-plane skydivers, zero-g weightlifters and long-distance sensory deprivation runners. Several team members hold competitive eating world records.

Hellmouth Cup

History

Friendship with Jersey OSHA Violations

The SS.png Seattle Sneakers and OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations initially bonded during the Hellmouth Cup through their mutual interest in legal action against the SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes . The two teams became fast friends, soon discovering they also share a hobby of pushing the limits of what is possible for the human body to endure, both physically and psychologically. They established an official anti-rivalry, dubbed the Highwire Crown.

Players from the OSHA Violations and Seattle Sneakers routinely go on team outings to participate in such extreme splorts as:

  • base jumping without a parachute
  • skydiving without a plane
  • upside-down tightrope walking
  • jump-off-a-cliff-and-dive-or-maybe-die
  • fire-breathing
  • tire-eating
  • burning-tire-fire-eating
  • taco sword-swallowing

Members of the OSHA Violations legal team are avid sneakerheads, and will get hot tips from the Seattle Sneakers when exclusive sneaker releases drop; in exchange, the OSHA Violations legal team provides free legal consults for the Sneakers.

Conflict with San Francisco Boat Shoes

The SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes made several desperate attempts to bring themselves to the attention of the SS.png Seattle Sneakers during the Hellmouth Cup, beginning with attempted social media interactions (they were blocked), then through legal avenues (attempting to trademark various Seattle Sneaker related merchandise and slogans).

One of the things the Boat Shoes attempted to trademark was a "Fresh Kicks Crown" that would be a possible rivalry between the two teams. Instead, the Sneakers decided to use the name for their rivalry with the FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls when the Freshrolls joined the league in Season 16.

The Seattle Sneakers go9t legal help from the OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations , who were no friends of the SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes . This further cemented their friendship. With help from the OSHA Violations, the Sneakers were able to successfully challenge the "Fresh Kicks Crown" trademark claims of the Boat Shoes in court. By Season 24, the Boat Shoes had decided to give up on the Sneakers and move on.

Seattle in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}

  • In Season 1 the Seattle Sneakers were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 3 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the TB.png Tucson Butchers .
  • In Season 4 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 7 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 8 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 9 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 46.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 10 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the BTX.png Baltimore Texas .
  • In Season 11 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 12 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 13 the Seattle Sneakers were the #2 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 15 the Seattle Sneakers were the #1 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 16 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 45.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 18 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They narrowly missed the postseason by losing the tiebreaker to the BTX.png Baltimore Texas .
  • In Season 20 the Seattle Sneakers did not reach the postseason.
    • They were the first Cold League team to be eliminated from the postseason (Partytime) on day 47.
    • They finished in last place in the Cold League.
  • In Season 21 the Seattle Sneakers were the #4 seed in the Cold League.
  • In Season 22 the Seattle Sneakers were the #3 seed in the Cold League.


Promotional Posters

Season8 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Season22 HellmouthCup Poster.png

Toroidal Cup

History

Seattle in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season

Chart

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Promotional Posters

ToroidalSeason2 Poster.png

ToroidalSeason20 Poster.png

Rainbow Cup

History

Seattle in the Rainbow Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

RainbowSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{RainbowRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Klein Cup

History

Seattle in the Klein Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

KleinSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{KleinRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth II Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth II Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIISeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth III Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth IV Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth IV Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth V Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth V Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Hellmouth VI Cup

History

Seattle in the Hellmouth VI Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVISeasonsQuantileGraph SS.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron SS}}


Art

Logos

SeattleSneakers Logo.png

Navboxes

Hellmouth VI League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth VI Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth vi teams   •   edit
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