Difference between revisions of "Baltimore Texas"

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{{Infobox team
 
{{Infobox team
−
| name = Baltimore Texas
+
| name = Baltimore Texas II
−
| abbr = BTX
+
| abbr = BTX2
 +
| nickname = Tex
 +
 
 
| color = 3e92cc
 
| color = 3e92cc
 
| secondary_color = ffffff
 
| secondary_color = ffffff
−
| status = <s>Incinerated</s> Reincarnated as {{CTeam|BTX2}}
 
 
| emoji = ⭐️
 
| emoji = ⭐️
 +
 +
| status =
 +
* Incinerated as {{CTeam|BTX}}
 +
* Replaced by {{CTeam|BPT}}
 +
* Reincarnated as {{CTeam|BTX2}}
 +
 
| slogan = Austin, Maryland!
 
| slogan = Austin, Maryland!
−
| hometown = Baltimore, MD
+
| motto = ''[[Dum spiro despero]]''<br />
 +
(While I breathe, I despair)
 +
 
 +
| hometown = Baltimore
 
| stadium = The Alamo (Lord Baltimore Theater)
 
| stadium = The Alamo (Lord Baltimore Theater)
 +
 
| crowns =  
 
| crowns =  
 
* [[Texas Crown]] {{TeamLogo|FWPT}}
 
* [[Texas Crown]] {{TeamLogo|FWPT}}
−
| movie = Texas
+
* [[Match Made In Hell II Crown]] {{TeamLogo|SAC}}
−
| integer = 13
+
 
−
| superpower = Ability to lose any game no matter how favorable the odds
+
| integer = 0
 +
| movie = Pink Flamingos
 +
 
 
| element = Water
 
| element = Water
−
| word = choke
+
| word = <s>Incineration</s> Reincarnation
−
| motto = Dum spiro despero<br/>''(While I breathe, I despair)''
+
| playing_card = A♠
 
}}
 
}}
−
The {{CTeam|BTX}} <s>are</s> <s>were</s> are a Golly team from Baltimore, Maryland. The Baltimore Texas were known as '''The Cold League Choke Artists''' due to their numerous appearances in the postseason, without any appearances in the [[Hellmouth Cup]]. Their Hot League counterparts were the [[Detroit Grape Chews]].
+
{{BTXTeamOverview}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth Cup==
 +
 
 +
{{BTXChokeArtistsHellmouthFragment}}
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph_BTX.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthCup BTX}}
 +
 
 +
=Toroidal Cup (Incineration)=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Toroidal Cup==
 +
 
 +
{{BTXChokeArtistsToroidalFragment}}
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season==
 +
 
 +
===Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph_BTX.png|800px]]
  
−
The {{CTeam|BTX}} were incinerated at the end of [[Toroidal/Season 20]] as part of the [[Cancel Texas Memo]]. On October 10, 2021, shortly after the [[Toroidal/Season 20]] postseason had ended, a planned incineration ceremony for the Baltimore Texas was cut short when the Commissioner accidentally sat on the incineration button and incinerated the Texas before the ceremony began. Following the event, the Commissioner established [[Ten Ten]], an annual holiday for teams that have not yet been incinerated to celebrate being un-incinerated.
+
===Summary===
  
−
The Baltimore Texas were reincarnated and reinstated as the Baltimore Texas II for the [[Hellmouth III Cup]]. The entire city of Baltimore breathed a collective sigh of relief when the much-reviled and widely-despised {{CTeam|BPT}} (composed of humiliated members of the former hated rivals {{CTeam|FWPT}}) were incinerated.
+
{{Tl|ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX}}
  
−
==Season by Season Summary==
+
{{SeasonBySeason ToroidalCup BTX}}
  
−
{{SeasonBySeason BTX}}
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=Hellmouth III Cup (Reincarnation)=
  
−
==Post-Reincarnation Season by Season Summary==
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==History==
  
−
{{SeasonBySeason BTX2}}
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==Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth III Cup==
  
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==Art==
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{{BTX2ChokeArtistsHellmouthIIIFragment}}
  
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===Logo===
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==Baltimore in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season==
  
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While the team does not have an official logo, Baltimore Texas fans will claim (usually loudly) that anything with a five-pointed star attached to it or painted on it is an explicit endorsement of the Baltimore Texas - unless proven otherwise.
+
===Performance Chart===
  
−
This map of Baltimore is sometimes used as a stand-in for a logo:
+
[[File:HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph_BTX2.png|800px]]
  
−
[[Image:BTX_BaltimoreBay.jpg|500px]]
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===Summary===
  
−
===Cup Posters===
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{{Tl|HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}
  
−
The Baltimore Texas were the Cold League Choke Artists, meaning they never made it to a Cup series, meaning they never made it onto a cup poster.
+
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIIICup BTX2}}
  
−
==Navboxes==
+
=Hellmouth IV Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth IV Cup==
 +
 
 +
{{BTX2ChokeArtistsHellmouthIVFragment}}
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore in the Hellmouth IV Cup==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph_BTX2.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthIVCup BTX2}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth V Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth V Cup==
 +
 
 +
{{BTX2ChokeArtistsHellmouthVFragment}}
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore in the Hellmouth V Cup==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph_BTX2.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthVCup BTX2}}
 +
 
 +
=Hellmouth VI Cup=
 +
 
 +
==History==
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth VI Cup==
 +
 
 +
{{BTX2ChokeArtistsHellmouthVIFragment}}
 +
 
 +
==Baltimore in the Hellmouth VI Cup==
 +
 
 +
===Performance Chart===
 +
 
 +
[[File:HellmouthVISeasonsQuantileGraph_BTX2.png|800px]]
 +
 
 +
===Summary===
 +
 
 +
{{Tl|HellmouthVIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}
 +
 
 +
{{SeasonBySeason HellmouthVICup BTX2}}
 +
 
 +
=Navboxes=
  
 
{{Navbox hellmouth v teams}}
 
{{Navbox hellmouth v teams}}
  
 
{{BTXTeamCategories}}
 
{{BTXTeamCategories}}
 +
 +
{{BTX2TeamCategories}}

Latest revision as of 12:20, 16 November 2025

Related: BPT.png Baltimore Piano Tuners

Baltimore Texas II
Baltimore Texas II logo
"Austin, Maryland!"
Team Information
Name Baltimore Texas II
Abbreviation BTX2
Nickname Tex
Primary Color #3e92cc
Secondary Color #ffffff
Logo  BTX2.png 
Hometown Baltimore
Stadium The Alamo (Lord Baltimore Theater)
Emoji ⭐️
Status

Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Integer 0
Movie Pink Flamingos
Divination
Element Water
Power Word Incineration Reincarnation
Card A♠
Motto

Dum spiro despero

(While I breathe, I despair)
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

The BTX.png Baltimore Texas were BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II are a Golly team from Baltimore, Maryland. The original Baltimore Texas, and their reincarnation as the Baltimore Texas II, are known as The Cold League Choke Artists due to their numerous appearances in the postseason without ever winning a pennant. Their Hot League Choke Artist counterparts are the DET.png Detroit Grape Chews .

The BTX.png Baltimore Texas were incinerated at the end of Toroidal/Season 20 as part of the Cancel Texas Memo. On October 10, 2021, shortly after the Toroidal/Season 20 postseason had ended, a planned incineration ceremony for the Baltimore Texas was cut short when the Commissioner accidentally sat on the incineration button and incinerated the Texas before the ceremony began. Following the event, the Commissioner established Ten Ten, an annual holiday for teams that have not yet been incinerated to celebrate being un-incinerated.

The Baltimore Texas were reincarnated and reinstated as the BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II for the Hellmouth III Cup. The entire city of Baltimore breathed a collective sigh of relief when the much-reviled and widely-despised BPT.png Baltimore Piano Tuners (composed of humiliated members of the former hated rivals FWPT.png Ft. Worth Piano Tuners ) were incinerated.

Hellmouth Cup

History

Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth Cup

The BTX.png Baltimore Texas earned the moniker of Cold League Choke Artists in the Hellmouth Cup.

Much like the Big Purple Machine in Detroit, the Baltimore Texas were initially seen as a strong postseason contender with a streak of unlucky occurrences. But as the Texas continued to make postseason appearance after postseason appearance, their losses quickly mounted, and by Season 8, when the Texas had already appeared in the LCS 4 times and lost all 4 times, it was clear that something was terribly wrong - the team was choking hard in the postseason - so they were officially dubbed Choke Artists.

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Division Series seven (7) times:

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Championship Series six (6) times:

Baltimore in the Hellmouth Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX.png

Summary

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX}}


Toroidal Cup (Incineration)

History

Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Toroidal Cup

The BTX.png Baltimore Texas continued to live up to their title of Cold League Choke Artists during the Toroidal Cup. They were incinerated as part of the Cancel Texas Memo and would not re-appear until they were resurrected as the BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II in the Hellmouth III Cup.

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Division Series four (4) times:

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Championship Series four (4) times:

Baltimore in the Toroidal Cup Season by Season

Chart

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX.png

Summary

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX}}


Hellmouth III Cup (Reincarnation)

History

Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth III Cup

The BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II continued to live up to their title of Cold League Choke Artists in the Hellmouth III Cup, even after being incinerated and then resurrected.

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Division Series one (1) time:

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Championship Series six (6) times:

Baltimore in the Hellmouth III Cup Season by Season

Performance Chart

HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph BTX2.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}


Hellmouth IV Cup

History

Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth IV Cup

The BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II continued to live up to their title of Cold League Choke Artists in the Hellmouth IV Cup, experiencing more chokes in both the League Division Series and the League Championship Series.

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Division Series six (6) times:

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Championship Series six (6) times:

Baltimore in the Hellmouth IV Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX2.png

Summary

{{HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}


Hellmouth V Cup

History

Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth V Cup

The BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II continued to live up to their title of Cold League Choke Artists in the Hellmouth V Cup, experiencing more chokes in both the League Division Series and the League Championship Series.

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Division Series five (5) times:

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Championship Series three (3) times:

Baltimore in the Hellmouth V Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX2.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}


Hellmouth VI Cup

History

Baltimore Choke Artistry in the Hellmouth VI Cup

The BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II continued to live up to their title of Cold League Choke Artists in the Hellmouth VI Cup, experiencing more chokes in both the League Division Series and the League Championship Series.

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Division Series (?) times:

Overall, the Texas choked in the League Championship Series (?) times:


Baltimore in the Hellmouth VI Cup

Performance Chart

HellmouthVISeasonsQuantileGraph BTX2.png

Summary

{{HellmouthVIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}


Navboxes

Hellmouth V League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth V Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth v teams   •   edit
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