Difference between revisions of "Baltimore Texas"

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''Related: {{CTeam|BPT}}''
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{{Infobox team
 
{{Infobox team
 
| name = Baltimore Texas
 
| name = Baltimore Texas
 
| abbr = BTX
 
| abbr = BTX
 
| color = 3e92cc
 
| color = 3e92cc
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| league = Cold
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| secondary_color = ffffff
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| division = Fire
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| status = <s>Incinerated</s> Reincarnated as {{CTeam|BTX2}}
 +
| emoji = ⭐️
 
| slogan = Austin, Maryland!
 
| slogan = Austin, Maryland!
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| hometown = Baltimore
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| hometown = Baltimore, MD
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| celebrity_mascot = Karl Marx
 
 
| stadium = The Alamo (Lord Baltimore Theater)
 
| stadium = The Alamo (Lord Baltimore Theater)
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| rivals = [[Ft. Worth Piano Tuners]] ([[Texas Crown]])
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| crowns =  
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| arcana = The Hierophant (V)
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* [[Texas Crown]] {{TeamLogo|FWPT}}
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| arcana_title = Magus of the Eternal Gods
 
−
| emoji = ⭐️
 
−
 
 
 
| movie = Texas
 
| movie = Texas
 +
| integer = 13
 
| superpower = Ability to lose any game no matter how favorable the odds
 
| superpower = Ability to lose any game no matter how favorable the odds
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| element = Water
 +
| word = choke
 +
| motto = Dum spiro despero<br/>''(While I breathe, I despair)''
 
}}
 
}}
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The {{CTeam|BTX}} are a Golly team from Baltimore, Maryland. The Baltimore Texas are known as '''The Cold League Choke Artists''' due to their numerous appearances in the postseason, without any appearances in the [[Hellmouth Cup]]. Their Hot League counterparts are the [[Detroit Grape Chews]].
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The {{CTeam|BTX}} <s>are</s> <s>were</s> are a Golly team from Baltimore, Maryland. The Baltimore Texas were known as '''The Cold League Choke Artists''' due to their numerous appearances in the postseason, without any appearances in the [[Hellmouth Cup]]. Their Hot League counterparts were the [[Detroit Grape Chews]].
  
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==Team Character==
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The {{CTeam|BTX}} were incinerated at the end of [[Toroidal/Season 20]] as part of the [[Cancel Texas Memo]]. On October 10, 2021, shortly after the [[Toroidal/Season 20]] postseason had ended, a planned incineration ceremony for the Baltimore Texas was cut short when the Commissioner accidentally sat on the incineration button and incinerated the Texas before the ceremony began. Following the event, the Commissioner established [[Ten Ten]], an annual holiday for teams that have not yet been incinerated to celebrate being un-incinerated.
  
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==Texas in the Hellmouth Cup==
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The Baltimore Texas were reincarnated and reinstated as the Baltimore Texas II for the [[Hellmouth III Cup]]. The entire city of Baltimore breathed a collective sigh of relief when the much-reviled and widely-despised {{CTeam|BPT}} (composed of humiliated members of the former hated rivals {{CTeam|FWPT}}) were incinerated.
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==Texas in the Toroidal Cup==
 
  
 
==Season by Season Summary==
 
==Season by Season Summary==
  
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===Hellmouth Cup Summary===
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{{SeasonBySeason BTX}}
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* In [[Season 2]] the Baltimore Texas were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They defeated the {{CTeam|FWPT}} 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|EA}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 4]] the Baltimore Texas were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They defeated the {{CTeam|SS}} 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series. They were swept in the Cold League Championship Series by the {{CTeam|LBFB}}.
 
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* In [[Season 5]] the Baltimore Texas were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They defeated the {{CTeam|TB}} 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|EA}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 6]] the Baltimore Texas were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They were swept in the Cold League Division Series by the {{CTeam|SDBA}}.
 
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* In [[Season 8]] the Baltimore Texas were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They swept the {{CTeam|TB}} 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|SS}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 10]] the Baltimore Texas were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|LBFB}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 11]] the Baltimore Texas were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|SS}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 12]] the Baltimore Texas were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They defeated the {{CTeam|FWPT}} 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|OSHA}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 14]] the Baltimore Texas were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|FWPT}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 18]] the Baltimore Texas were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|LBFB}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 19]] the Baltimore Texas were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They defeated the {{CTeam|SDBA}} 3-2 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|FWPT}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 20]] the Baltimore Texas were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|FF}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Season 22]] the Baltimore Texas were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|SS}} 1-3.
 
  
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===Toroidal Cup Summary===
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==Post-Reincarnation Season by Season Summary==
  
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* In [[Toroidal/Season 3]] the Baltimore Texas were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They swept the {{CTeam|SDBA}} 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|EA}} 2-3.
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{{SeasonBySeason BTX2}}
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* In [[Toroidal/Season 4]] the Baltimore Texas were the #4 seed in the Cold League. They defeated the {{CTeam|OSHA}} 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|LBFB}} 2-3.
 
−
* In [[Toroidal/Season 5]] the Baltimore Texas were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|SLC}} 2-3.
 
−
* In [[Toroidal/Season 9]] the Baltimore Texas were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|SLC}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Toroidal/Season 13]] the Baltimore Texas were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|SDBA}} 1-3.
 
−
* In [[Toroidal/Season 14]] the Baltimore Texas were the #2 seed in the Cold League. They lost the Cold League Division Series to the {{CTeam|SDBA}} 1-3.
 
−
* In [[Toroidal/Season 17]] the Baltimore Texas were the #3 seed in the Cold League. They swept the {{CTeam|FWPT}} 3-0 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|TB}} 2-3.
 
−
* In [[Toroidal/Season 19]] the Baltimore Texas were the #1 seed in the Cold League. They defeated the {{CTeam|OSHA}} 3-1 in the Cold League Division Series. They lost the Cold League Championship Series to the {{CTeam|SDBA}} 2-3.
 
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* In [[Toroidal/Season 20]] the Baltimore Texas were incinerated on the order of the [[Commissioners Office|Commissioner of Golly]], as per the [[Cancel Texas Memo]].
 
  
 
==Art==
 
==Art==
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===Logo===
 
===Logo===
  
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While the team does not have an official logo, Baltimore Texas fans will generally interpret anything with a five-pointed star on it as either property of the Baltimore Texas, and/or designed and/or owned by a Baltimore Texas fan, unless proven otherwise.
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While the team does not have an official logo, Baltimore Texas fans will claim (usually loudly) that anything with a five-pointed star attached to it or painted on it is an explicit endorsement of the Baltimore Texas - unless proven otherwise.
  
 
This map of Baltimore is sometimes used as a stand-in for a logo:
 
This map of Baltimore is sometimes used as a stand-in for a logo:
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===Cup Posters===
 
===Cup Posters===
  
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lol, yeah right. The Baltimore Texas were the Cold League Choke Artists, so they never made it to a Cup series.
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The Baltimore Texas were the Cold League Choke Artists, meaning they never made it to a Cup series, meaning they never made it onto a cup poster.
  
 
==Navboxes==
 
==Navboxes==
  
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{{Navbox teams}}
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{{Navbox hellmouth v teams}}
  
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[[Category:Choke Artist]]
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{{BTXTeamCategories}}
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[[Category:BTX]]
 

Latest revision as of 00:25, 22 March 2025

Related: BPT.png Baltimore Piano Tuners

Baltimore Texas
Baltimore Texas logo
"Austin, Maryland!"
Team Information
Name Baltimore Texas
Abbreviation BTX
Primary Color #3e92cc
Secondary Color #ffffff
Logo  BTX.png 
Hometown Baltimore, MD
Stadium The Alamo (Lord Baltimore Theater)
Emoji ⭐️
Status Incinerated Reincarnated as BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II
Rivalry Crowns
Favorites
Integer 13
Movie Texas
Divination
Element Water
Power Word choke
Motto
Dum spiro despero
(While I breathe, I despair)
 
Template:Infobox team   •   edit
 

The BTX.png Baltimore Texas are were are a Golly team from Baltimore, Maryland. The Baltimore Texas were known as The Cold League Choke Artists due to their numerous appearances in the postseason, without any appearances in the Hellmouth Cup. Their Hot League counterparts were the Detroit Grape Chews.

The BTX.png Baltimore Texas were incinerated at the end of Toroidal/Season 20 as part of the Cancel Texas Memo. On October 10, 2021, shortly after the Toroidal/Season 20 postseason had ended, a planned incineration ceremony for the Baltimore Texas was cut short when the Commissioner accidentally sat on the incineration button and incinerated the Texas before the ceremony began. Following the event, the Commissioner established Ten Ten, an annual holiday for teams that have not yet been incinerated to celebrate being un-incinerated.

The Baltimore Texas were reincarnated and reinstated as the Baltimore Texas II for the Hellmouth III Cup. The entire city of Baltimore breathed a collective sigh of relief when the much-reviled and widely-despised BPT.png Baltimore Piano Tuners (composed of humiliated members of the former hated rivals FWPT.png Ft. Worth Piano Tuners ) were incinerated.

Season by Season Summary

Season-by-Season Summaries for BTX.png Baltimore Texas .

Baltimore Texas in the Hellmouth Cup

HellmouthSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX.png

{{HellmouthRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX}}


Baltimore Texas in the Toroidal Cup

ToroidalSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX.png

{{ToroidalRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX}}


Post-Reincarnation Season by Season Summary

Season-by-Season Summaries for BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II .

Baltimore Texas II in the Hellmouth III Cup

HellmouthIIISeasonsQuantileGraph BTX2.png

{{HellmouthIIIRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}


Baltimore Texas II in the Hellmouth IV Cup

HellmouthIVSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX2.png

{{HellmouthIVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}


Baltimore Texas II in the Hellmouth V Cup

HellmouthVSeasonsQuantileGraph BTX2.png

{{HellmouthVRankList SeasonAllTime Chron BTX2}}


Art

While the team does not have an official logo, Baltimore Texas fans will claim (usually loudly) that anything with a five-pointed star attached to it or painted on it is an explicit endorsement of the Baltimore Texas - unless proven otherwise.

This map of Baltimore is sometimes used as a stand-in for a logo:

BTX BaltimoreBay.jpg

Cup Posters

The Baltimore Texas were the Cold League Choke Artists, meaning they never made it to a Cup series, meaning they never made it onto a cup poster.

Navboxes

Hellmouth V League Teams

Hellmouth IV Cup logo

Hellmouth V Cup
Teams 		Cold Fire Division

BTX2.png Baltimore Texas II

EA.png Elko Astronauts

LBFB.png Long Beach Flightless Birds

SLC.png Salt Lake Turbulence

SS.png Seattle Sneakers

Cold Water Division

FF.png Phoenix Freshrolls

TB.png Tucson Butchers

ABQ.png Albuquerque Solarpunks

SDBA.png San Diego Balloon Animals

SAC.png Sacramento Boot Lickers

Hot Fire Division

VV.png Vegas Vampires

DET.png Detroit Grape Chews

MILF.png Milwaukee Flamingos

SFBS.png San Francisco Boat Shoes

FFF.png Fargo Flea Flickers

Hot Water Division

AA.png Alewife Arsonists

BB.png Boylston Boogers

DECO.png Delaware Corporate Shells

SGE.png Sugar Grove Eavesdroppers

OSHA.png Jersey OSHA Violations

Navbox Info:
Template:Navbox hellmouth v teams   •   edit
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